Kim To Become Kardashi-cat

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KardashicatIf you haven’t seen Kim Kardashian‘s vagina by now, you’re either blind or religious. Either way: fair enough. If you’re the rare creature that doesn’t fall into the above two categories, here’s a consolation: soon, you’ll get to see Kim’s Pussycat. The woman most famous for her sex tape is said to be in talks to join the Pusscat Dolls‘ Las Vegas review, which has a sort of revolving door policy for celebrity guests (Scarlett Johansson, Christina Aguilera and Eva Longoria have all played in their litter box shared their stage). There are no details of Kim’s supposed PCD stint, but all signs point to it being a temporary gig.

As amusing as this news is, it’s also sort of counterproductive to Kim’s skank factor. Going from hardcore porn to burlesque (or whatever you want to call the PCD’s peen-teasing) is like going from Bergdorf Goodman to Fashion Bug. DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! [TMZ]

Brit’s Brilliant Album Ideas

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Every time Britney updates her website (remember this gem about hitting rock bottom?), I like to imagine her barefoot, locked in a giant computer room at her mansion in Malibu, typing away furiously while shoveling Cheetos in her mouth, and grinning as she types up some crazy rant while her "people" bang on the door begging her to stop. Thankfully, if this scenario is really taking place (oh, I hope so), she’s not listening to anyone but her the voices in her head (or weave). And they’re kind of weird.

Check out her latest masterpiece currently up on Britney Spears.com:

Brit_likelikelike_2

Can anyone make sense of this mess? I cant, so I’m pretty sure the joke is on me. I’m voting for #2, even though I’m sure we all agree that Omg is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like is quite possibly, like, the greatest, like, album name EVER, like.     

Akon Sings His Apology

by (@katespencer)

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Akon
has come forward to apologize for that whole underaged girl-humping fiasco – and a bunch of other things – in song. Seriously. The controversial crooner’s new jam leaked on Ryan Seacrest‘s radio show, and you can listen to it here.

There’s no mention of Akon’s stage throw victim, so keep your fingers crossed for a second sappy forgiveness-seeking ballad. And remember, the next time something goes incredibly wrong, put the blame on Akon. It’s what he wants.

Brit’s Battle: Over? Or Just Gettin’ Good?

by (@katespencer)

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No one’s quite sure what’s goin’ on between Grandma Spears and her lil’ mama Brit.  Us Magazine’s most recent cover features an interview with Lynne about the pair’s attempt to mend their broken relationship. She dishes on her daughter’s mistakes, and gives the impression that the two are coming out of the darkness that is estrangement, buzz cuts and two day rehab stints. "Britney Jean Spears is the sweetest and the most sensitive and loving
of all my children," she tells the mag, "she’s just figuring
things out."

Find out who else Grandma Spears loves, after the jump!

Read more…

Slim, Shady and Obsessed With Mariah

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Mariahvsem On his next album, Eminem is said to be dusting off his favorite punching bag: Mariah Carey. The New York Daily News reports that a source close to Em has blabbed to OK! that “there is more than one track that goes into really specific, intimate detail about what went on between Em and Mariah.” Apparently, nothing notable has happened in Eminem’s life because he’s still talking about his supposed affair with Mariah, six years after he alleges it took place (Mariah has always denied any sort of romantic connection with the slim and shady one).

If this is true, Em’s seeming mighty desperate for material. Can’t he find someone else to supposedly have sex with and then rap about? Is Mariah’s sauce really that sweet or is he just wack?

After the jump, read a timeline of Em and Mariah’s epic feud…and you’ll see just how lame he is for still talking about this crap.

Read more…

K-Fed Can’t Stop Makin’ Babies

by (@katespencer)

Kfed_3 Actress Shar Jackson is reportedly in her seventh week of pregnancy, and the alleged dad is none other than the former Mr. Britney Spears himself. 29 year-old K-Fed already has two kids with The Ex-Wives Club star (and two with Brit, if anyone’s counting), and can’t seem to stop his superhuman sperm from procreating. The two probably didn’t even need to knock boots, Kevin’s ‘boys’ are so strong they just hitchhiked from whatever corner he was hanging out on to Shar’s house in Los Angeles and made it happen. Jackson has two children from a previous relationship, so the baby on the way will bring the total number of kids in the Jackson-Federline-Spears family to a lucky 7.

Oh – but please, whatever you do, don’t tell any of this to Kevin. Shar still hasn’t mentioned it yet. Pssst – now might be a good time.

Wednesday: Paris Needs a New Agent; Lindsay Slapped with Lawsuit

by (@katespencer)

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Nicole: Tests Confirm Baby Bump?

There’s no slowing the pregnancy rumors surrounding The Simple Life star, as a source reveals that blood tests show that there’s a blooming bun in her teeny tiny oven.

New Mom Alert: Aniston?s Adopting!
Jen’s started the adoption ball rolling and is hoping for a baby boy, just like new mom pal Sheryl Crow. Watch out, Shiloh! There could be a new kid in town.

Agents Kick Paris to the Curb
After her most recent legal fiasco, the Endeavor Agency has dumped the high maintenance star. According to an insider, Hilton’s endless drama "just wasn’t worth it."

Read more…

Kelly Clarkson Fires Manager

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Kclark Kelly Clarkson‘s taking matters into her own hands. In the latest offensive in the war against her record label, Clarkson just fired manager (and former ally) Jeff Kwatinetz, who, according to sources, "excaberbated a thermonuclear situation." With just two weeks til the release of Clarkson’s My December — and extreme resistance from RCA and label head Clive Davis — Clarkson and Kwatinetz fell out over the direction of the album. With Kwatinetz allegedly siding with Davis, Clarkson informed him she’d no longer be requiring his services, as of Monday evening.

This is the latest in a long line of disagreements Clarkson has been outspoken about. Most recently, the singer refused to perform her single "Never Again" (which is currently falling fast at #29 on the airplay chart) at the Idol Gives Back concert, and slammed those who wanted her to: "To promote yourself on a charity event is beyond crass. People are starving and dying and I’m up there singing some bitter pop song? And believe me, everyone wanted me to sing it. Because they are jaded and they have no soul."

So who do you agree with — Kelly or Clive & co.? Check out an alleged leak of the album here, and tell us what you think.

Nick Lachey Defends His Woman

by (@katespencer)

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Check out this video
of Nick getting p*ssed off at a pesky photographer while at the airport. The paparazzo allegedly said something crude about Vanessa as they walked by, so after escorting his lady friend out of harm’s way, the sensitive singer takes that giant tattooed arm and puts it to good use on the guy’s neck.

I’m all for chivalry, but couldn’t Minnillo have defended herself? We all know she’s got mad skills in the weapons department.