Monday: Transformers Star Gets Hammered & Thrown in Slammer

by (@katespencer)

shia-1105.jpgT-Pain Turns Himself in to Police
That warrant for driving on a suspended license finally caught up with the rapper, who is back home after being released by the cops. [Yahoo]

Shia LaBeouf Gets Drunk & Arrested
The new Lindsay Lohan has emerged – and it’s a dude! How politically correct. [People]

Dog Chapman Booted Off TV
Say goodbye to the Bounty Hunter – A&E has pulled the show indefinitely. It’s not canceled – but it’s not on the air, either.

Britney?s Bad Parenting Skills
Oh now this makes sense – Brit left her kids in the car (monitored, but still) on one of her two visitation days while she went chandelier shopping. Surely the parenting coach has something to say about this! [DListed]

Oprah Finally Speaks About School
The talk show diva is devastated by her South African school’s drama, but is “learning” from the experience. That’s our Oprah! [TMZ]

The Weekly Wrap Up: Britney’s Babies Go Bye Bye as Dog Spews Slurs & Tailor Made Spits

by (@katespencer)

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Britney Makes a Butt Load of Money, Ya’ll

by (@katespencer)

britney-kevin-1102.jpgWhat would you do with $102,000 a month? If you were Britney Spears, you’d spend it on “entertainment, gifts and vacations.” Drugs are expensive, ya’ll! The singer rakes in approximately $737,868 per month, so she can afford to spend over $10,000 on utilities for her mansions, $16,000 on clothes and about $50,000 on mortages. Wow – looking like ass is seriously expensive! She must take a vacation a week while wearing a new diamond space suit each day to spend that much, and sadly she still has millions left over.
K-Fed meanwhile, spends much less, but the guy’s living off of child support and the $5 a month he’s still pulling in from sales of his not-so-successful record Playing With Fire. On average he drops $2000 on clothes and $5000 on entertainment per month. He must know some cheap strippers!

But the most hilarious – and depressing – amount is what Little Miss Rich Pants and her ex give to charity. From that six figure number, Brit gives just $500 a month to her organization the Britney Spears Foundation. Kevin, on the other hand, gave nothing to help any causes, but isn’t that because he’s basically a charity case himself? [TMZ. Image: Getty]

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John Mayer Redefines “Shrimping”

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In our final installment of John Mayer playing a side-burned prima donna [Ed: Is there anything this guy can't do?!?] Johnny makes his three-day, music-filled cruise sound more like the Love Boat as he describes the practice of shrimping.

And though the contest to stowaway aboard Cap’n John’s ship may have ended, it’s not too late to purchase tickets for the Mayercraft cruise. Ahoy!

Amy Winehouse Isn’t Even Trying

by (@katespencer)

Amy is back and more effed up than ever. Her performance at last night’s MTV Europe Music Awards is like Britney’s VMA disaster without the laughs (and bikini). It’s only more painful to watch her exuberant back up singers/dancers jam beside her as she teeters on-stage, gripping the mic for balance. The girl is so seriously incoherent and messed up that she probably walked offstage after her wobbly performance and passed out. We’d normally point out that her denim dress from 1992 borders on fashion faux pas territory, but that’s the least of our worries. This isn’t the first time Amy’s delivered a rough performance at an awards show, which is what makes this sorry showing so sad. It’s only that much more heartbreaking that while she’s singing about going “back to black,” she’s fading onstage. Words becoming life only make the whole thing worse. Someone help! [ via DListed]

 

Friday: Colbert Canned in Carolina

by (@katespencer)

colbert-1102.jpgColbert Can?t Run for Prez
The South Carolina democrats won’t let the state’s “favorite son” on the presidential ballot. We smell a write in! [DListed]

Eminem Busy with New Babe
So this is what the rapper’s been up to for the past few year’s – getting laid. [NYP]

Britney?s Ex-Manager Sues the Star
Who hasn’t Britney screwed over in the past couple of years? At least she already knows her way around the courthouse. [Us]

Jake and Reese Heat up Halloween
The actor took Reese’s two kids trick-or-treating dressed as a gorilla. It really is love, after all! [Us]

Arrest Expected at Oprah?s School
Let this be a lesson for her school’s students – and the world. Nobody messes with Oprah, b*tches. Nobody! [People]

Da Brat Goes on the Attack

by (@katespencer)

brat_mugshot.jpgWe’ve always loved how sassy Da Brat‘s been on The Surreal Life 4 and Celebrity Fit Club, but damn she’s even spunkier in real life! The rapper was arrested early this morning in Atlanta after clocking a nightclub waitress. Holy sh*t, she’s not effing around! Apparently the two got in a fight that escalated into shoving, until Da Brat took it to the next level with a little rum-bottle-in-the-face action. The waitress ended up at the hospital and Da Brat ended up posing for this beautiful mug shot (right) and getting charged with “felony aggravated assault.” The best part is that she appears to be in some sort of Halloween costume – that yellow polka dot jacket and pink tie has gotta be more than just a quirky fashion statement, right? [Smoking Gun]

Now and Then: The Backstreet Boys

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“Now and Then” finds us chatting with artists about the breadth of their careers. They explain their latest video and then comment on one of their classic clips.

In our first installment, we get cozy on the couch with the Backstreet Boys. Their new disc Unbreakable just dropped, so we dug up the dirt behind the making of the video for “Inconsolable.” Then we took a trip down memory lane with their spooktastic video for 1997′s “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back).”

Brian: This was originally supposed to be shot in a city during a solar eclipse, but we translated it to the beach. Everybody’s raving about my house in this video. It’s cool, because it’s right on the beach, but it was all concrete, and so not me. Not my style.

Read more…

Thursday: America Wants More of Britney

by (@katespencer)

britney-spears-1101.jpgBritney?s New Album Reaches #1 Spot
You did it girl! Now if only some genius producers could make everything else in your life amazing too. [Us]

Owen Wilson?s Immodest Bathroom Break
Apparently the actor pees with the door open at events so no one thinks he’s inside snorting coke. Someone tell Lindsay Lohan this brilliant plan! [NYP]

Nick Cannon Crushing on Miss USA
The singer/actor dumped his fiancee and is trying to woo with the pageant winner by constantly sending her flowers, chocolates and balloons. Doesn’t he know that stalking isn’t sexy. [NYP]

Joel Madden Ready for Baby with Nicole
Aw cute, Joel’s so excited for his lil’ Richie that he’s printing tiny t-shirts for his kid. Maybe Nicole can borrow them from baby someday! [People]

Paris Getting Rich Doing Nothing
As usual, people are throwing millions at the dumb bombshell just to appear at their events. I’ll pay Paris to come to my party in a cave and tip her to stay forever. [DListed]

Kim and Britney Talk Nonsense

by (@katespencer)

britneykim.jpgWe can’t get enough of Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears (we have a soft spot for fake hair and fake butts), so needless to say we’ve been marveling at the dumb things they’ve both said recently that will surely come back to bite them in the ass (not that Kim needs the help). For starters, Kardashian claimed in July that her Playboy spread would “not be a nude pictorial.” She also promised that “it would be tasteful like Mariah Carey,” which is an obvious oxymoron, right? Turns out the pics rank as super classy on the Mimi scale, as they are fabulously trashy and totally nude! Oh Kim, why bother lying? We can still see all your lady-bits even through the pearl necklaces you’ve hung all over yourself. Tasteful indeed.

Meanwhile, Ryan Seacrest woke up Britney Spears at 9AM this morning to do an interview in which she proceeded to make zero sense answering questions about her kids: “my lawyers know all that;” and celebrating her new record: “we watched movies…and we had fried chicken.” Britney, who was particularly out of it (it was early, we guess) hops off the phone in the middle of the interview to go take a shower. Obviously. She does whatever she wants, even when it makes no sense. Luckily, her hanger-on pal Sam told Ryan the interview was the only thing they were doing to promote the album. It’s a good thing she’s freed up her schedule to do nothing! It’s kinda what she does best. [Images: Getty]