I don’t blame you if 50 Cent isn’t exactly your point person for intuition and eloquence. This is, after all, a man who thinks nothing of combining childhood imagery (candy shops, amusement parks) with raunch, a man who will "whip your head, boy," a man who thinks he’s doing you a favor when he says, "I’ll let you lick my d***."
It was, then, a great surprise when, during a press conference Wednesday, Fiddy stepped up his insight after being grilled about the initiative to remove those three infamous words from hip-hop. The rapper won’t be censoring himself any time soon, and here’s his explanation why:
Canadian mall-punk princess Avril Lavigne wasn’t quite as topless on the cover of Blender as we’d hoped . . . er, believed. She told MTV News that she was wearing a tube top, which the magazine covered up with a strategically placed coverline. That’s OK, though: It’s all part of a campaign to rehabilitate the singer’s image. She wants to be all dangerous now. Consider: "The Blender shoot was really fun because it was super rock and roll — we had a bottle of [whiskey] and ate cupcakes." This, of course, makes tons of sense since it is difficult to get more rock and roll than cupcakes. Also making sense? Her desire to act: "I would want to go for a more serious drama, something darker that would take a lot of emotion." That’s because someone must have told her that her cameo in Fast Food Nation was a good part of that film. And that person is a bad friend.
Unceremoniously dismissedEvanescence drummer Rocky Gray is selling the six gold and platinum plaques he received with the band on eBay. Gray explained the decision as "just kinda cleanin’ house a little bit." Since management asked Gray to leave the band, along with guitarist John Lecompt, on May 5, Gray has been tight-lipped about his departure. Potential bidders will be happy to know that Gray, a.k.a. biggcrazy, has yet to receive any bids on the plaques (reserve price $500), though the transaction might be sketchy, as he’s yet to receive any feedback. In other Evanescence news, the band will continue touring with two new members formerly of Dark New Day, Troy McLawhorn and Will Hunt.
Two stories from the world of law-enforcement. Cops gotta get their intel somewhere, but it’s still chilling to think that the comings and goings of hip-hop heroes such as Diddy, Jay-Z, and LL Cool Jwere monitored around the time of the Republican National Convention that was held in NYC. Alicia Keys, too, dude. Now, what could that nice young lady do wrong?
Elsewhere, one man in blue lifted a bunch of pot from mind-altered scalawags, and instead of turning it into the evidence room, baked it up for himself and his honey. Then he called 911 because he thought he was dead. He wasn’t. It’s believed that Pink Floyd’s "Comfortably Numb" was involved as well.
What’s better than streaming Maroon 5‘s new album It Won’t Be Soon Before Long an entire week before it comes out? How about having them play it live, for you. That’s right — we’re giving you the opportunity to win two tickets to the Cali quintet’s intimate club show in the city of your choosing. And there won’t be just one winner — we’re choosing nine winners to see Adam and crew with a guest. Enter here!
“Hey You” is a new Madonna song, which sounds distinctly Christmas-y — surprising, since it was produced by Pharrell. But whatever, and we’ll save lap dance puns for the next time Madonna winds up at a strip club for research. It’s available online now to download for free, legally, as part of the promotion for Al Gore’s Live Earth bonanza, the seven-continent-concert that’s going to go down July 7th. Madge will perform “Hey You” as part of Live Earth, but don’t download the track just to memorize the lyrics. Get it now because for each of the first million downloads, MSN will donate 25 cents to the Alliance for Climate Protection. Nice work, Madonna.
Is text-over-tatas the new celebrity must-have? Britney Spears can be seen rocking it on her official site, while Avril Lavigne sports it on the cover of the latest Blender. Who looks hottest? Who wore it best?
In addition to feeling inappropriately about his daughters, pop svengali Joe Simpson has professed his love for Jessica‘s new man, John Mayer. "I want her to be happy. I’m always a fan of his. I love him; he’s got great music," Simpson told People. Explaining the secret to what makes their relationship work, Simpson cites the lack of competition: "He’s a guitarist; that’s his thing. Jessica is a singer. She doesn’t play guitar, so there’s no competition." In other Simpson sib news, Ashlee‘s going into the studio with ubiquitous producer Timbaland, the other guy from the Neptunes who’s not Pharell, Chad Hugo, and John Legend. Ash is going for a more "soulful" sound on this album, so that means no power-pop proclaiming she "didn’t steal your boyfriend." Cryptically, though, Ash predicts, "I’ll probably have my heart broken and then end up with one of those kinds of songs on there." Is there trouble in paradise with Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz?
Our ramp-up to Rock Honors (Thursday, May 24) always includes revealing chats with the music’s stars. Road Tales focuses on some the silliness (and sex) that goes down when artists are on tour.
Peter Criss isn’t one of rock’s best drummers, but back in the day the KISS pounder was always allowed an extensive spot for solos during a show. Anthrax’s Scott Ian, who toured with the make-up men years ago, explains the kind of carnal pleasures that took place stage left and stage right.
Now and then our Tour Survival Guide will check in with rockers about life on the road. Here’s guitarist James Black on how getting punched and packing light keep Black Rebel Motorcycle Club in good spirits.
Just One of the Crew I help with the load-in and joke around with the crew. They usually yell at me when I try because they say if I break a hand, they’re out of a job. They tell me to get the f*ck out of the back of the truck. I feel like a jackass if I’m not involved that way. It’s kind of your only exercise when you’re out on the road, anyway. I’m not a big runner.
They Give New Meaning to "Packing Light" We’re always having competitions of who can bring the least. Once Nick just had a little bag. I’m down to one shoulder bag — three pairs of pants, two shirts, couple pairs of socks. I’d love to tour without a cell phone. I long for the days where it used to be you disappear on the road. I did one tour with three pair of pants in a sleeping bag bag. Like a hobo. It’s fun — it’s good to do. It’s nice to know how little you can live with.