T-Pain on Britney: Snaps Up

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TpainluvsbritThe always-fascinating junior-high dropout T-Pain recently worked with Britney Spears and characterizes the experience as "the most beautiful thing in the world." More beautiful than a stripper climbing a pole? For real?

In addition to gushing about their work together, T-Pain has some words regarding the media-bashing Brit has endured in recent months. Says T:

"You can’t hate Britney Spears because you know what, no matter what Britney Spears been doing, she’s still on TV."

See, I thought that her being on TV meant I could hate her blindly out of jealousy, without even thinking about it. Thanks for clearing that up, Teddy Penderazdoun! With this reveal of insight, T-Pain officially becomes a rapper ternt sanga ternt cultural critic. A natural progression, no doubt! [AP/Yahoo! Music / Image: Getty]

Justin and Cam Smile To Hide the Pain

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Former lovers Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz have been on a seemingly unending media blitz to promote Shrek the Third, in which both of their voices appear. Let this be a lesson to Hollywood honeys near and far: making a movie with the person you’re doing is as much of a life sentence as making a baby. If you break up, you have to share custody of the thing. The pained expression of Justin’s face in the shot above basically says it all.

Not that Cameron officially minds. When asked about promoting the film with her former pleasure-giver, Cam said, "He’s been great and we’ve been working so hard together to promote this film." Great? Great?!? Here’s a list of other words Cam could have used to describe working with Justin: "cool," "good," "groovy," "neat-o," "outtasight," "hunky-dory," and "gangsta." In other words: don’t go out of your way to convince us Cam.

After the jump are more shots of Cam and Justin having a "great" time at yesterday’s Shrek the Third premiere in England. [People / All images: Getty]

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Courtney Hires Kurt Doppelganger

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Love Courtney Love isn’t an equal opportunity employer. Turns out if you resemble her deceased husband Kurt Cobain, you have a good chance at being in her new band. In a blog post on her website, Courtney admitted to hiring on a touring guitarist solely based on looks: "I’ll admit it, I really hired him because he looks like Kurt…He didn’t kill me, but he swore if I gave him a week he’d learn everything. He’s blonde and soooooooo beautiful and his guitar playing is great." Love’s keeping tight-lipped about her long overdue return, but did allude to a secret show in London on her 43rd birthday, as well as shows later this summer in L.A.

Kanye West Dissed by Birthday Cake

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Kanye Everyone’s favorite College Dropout had a birthday last week, and the celebs were out in full force to celebrate. Jay-Z, Diddy and Mariah all came out to pay Kanye their respects on his 30th at the Louis Vuitton flagship in New York, even if the caterers didn’t feel compelled to — apparently the Great One’s name was spelled incorrectly on the cake, as "Kayne." Also in attendance were Ashlee Simpson and Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz, who had earlier joked to VH1.com he was getting Kanye a knock-off Louis Vuitton bag for his birthday. Noticeably absent? Ye’s hip-hop hall pass buddy John Mayer. Their harpsichord-laced track "Bittersweet" leaked last week. A pre-Jessica John fills in the funny on the making of the first single off Kanye’s latest. 

Brit’s Mom Back in the Picture

by (@katespencer)

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It looks like Britney really is trying to get her life back in order, starting with a reconciliation with her mom Lynne.  The two recently met for an hour at a massive Bel Air mansion (the Spears women are too good for Starbucks) accompanied by Brit’s bodyguards, little sister Jamie-Lynn, and J-L’s boyfriend, who added some much needed testosterone to the presumably emotional bunch.

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Claymates Be Crazy!

by (@katespencer)

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Things got so heated on the message board of Clay Aiken‘s fan-made web presence, Clayonline.com, that the discussion area has been shut down. Apparently the seven-year old girls and lonely middle-aged women who frequent the site started throwing virtual punches in an argument debating their Idol’s sexual orientation. A source says, "The war is between the batty members that are still clinging to their
heterosexual fantasies of him and others that don’t harbor such
illusions."

This sounds better than The Sopranos finale – I can see the virtual blood splatters now!

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Christina & Her Candyman: Babyville?

by (@katespencer)

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Following a trend that is as big with celebs as vintage Ray Bans and high-waisted shorts, Christina Aguilera has (possibly) jumped aboard the baby mama bandwagon.
The once "Dirrrty" pop star was recently spotted at the Maternal Fetal Medicine Association in NYC, an organization "known for their expertise in high-risk pregnancies and state-of-the-art ultrasounds." If that’s not proof enough, she was later seen walking through a crowd of paparazzi holding her stomach! The stomach hold!? That’s a classic Hollywood giveaway – obviously that means she’s packin’ a baby in there.

I can’t wait to see what Britney gets Christina when her baby’s born. Aguilera sent her a luxurious gift basket when Sean Preston popped out, so the always classy and generous Brit will probably reciprocate with two three big bags of Cheetos. 

Madonna’s Secret JFK Jr. Sex — Not

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Maddonnnnna In the forthcoming American Legacy, a new book about the sadly deceased JFK Jr., one of the scion’s friends from university told the author about an evening the Kennedy shared with Madonna in 1988. Apparently the two were at a fleabag Chicago hotel for a “secret rendezvous” (that’s how The New York Post puts it, anyway), when they realized they didn’t have protection. No glove, no love. Because both were so famous — and because both were also very much attached to significant others, Madonna to Sean Penn — they couldn’t just go to the Duane Reade and buy a pack of condoms. This was back when famous people knew what shame was. Doesn’t celebrity suck?

Mariah Carey’s Face Is Weird

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Mariah Carey hadn’t been photographed for almost four months until she attended last week’s Fresh Air Fund Salute To American Heroes gala in New York. Mariah reemerged from recording in Anguilla looking tired (island life is waaaay stressful!). But looking tired is an upgrade from the last time she was photographed, in February, when she just looked sort of…odd. But that was an improvement on the time before it (November ’06), when Mariah’s face looked like a creepy, strategic arrangement of pin cushions.

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See, the thing about Mariah’s face is that it looks different every time you see it. If I had to take a guess as to why Mariah’s face sometimes looks normal (albeit full of cheekbones) and sometimes looks like marshmallows in a microwave, I’d chalk it up to Restalyne, the anti-aging injections that fight wrinkles and often result in swollen faces. Looks like Mariah’s due for another injection!

You can’t blame her for trying to fight age (she’s a product of youth-obsessed culture), but if at 37, she’s already altering her face, one thing is for certain: she’s going to be a crazy-looking old lady one day. Lindsay Lohan and I can’t wait!

More shots of Mariah’s sleepy face and bangin’ bod at the Fresh Air Fund gala are after the jump…

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Tour Survival Guide: Hinder

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Now and then our Tour Survival Guide will check in with rockers about life on the road. Here’s Hinder’s Cody Hanson on what keeps them running: booze, porn stars and the fans.

Diet of Champions
We took most of the food off [our rider] because you can only get so much [alcohol], and if you have food on there, it’s taking up your alcohol money. Now we get a loaf of bread, and peanut butter and jelly. I’ve been on a cottage cheese kick lately. It’s amazing what you’ll eat at the end of the night when you’re all f*cked up.

They can Time Travel to 1986
Ron Jeremy
came to Oklahoma City and introduced us — we had two hometown shows back-to-back. One night was Ron Jeremy and the other night was Jesse Jane. So we had two different porn stars introduce us two different nights. That was the second time we’d met Ron Jeremy. He’d introduced us in L.A. We were doing an Eddie Money cover and we invited [Eddie Money] to come sing with us on stage. And Ron Jeremy called up the club and asked if he could introduce us — he’s a big fan. Then we all went out and got sh*t-faced at the Rainbow.

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