Remy Ma (Meat) Packing?

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Terror Squad rapper Remy Ma has lived up to her violent reputation, turning herself over to police yesterday after being accused of shooting one of her best friends on Friday night. According to the victim, Makeda Barnes-Joseph, the two were out partying in New York City’s Meatpacking District (which, for those of you who’ve been, is this story’s first mistake). Remy asked Makeda to hold her purse, and when Makeda handed it back to her, Remy thought that her wallet felt a bit light. So she allegedly shot Makeda twice, dumped Makeda’s purse out and started going through the contents. "What hurts me is that when she shot me she went over and dumped the bag," Maked told The New York Daily News. "She didn’t even say, ‘Oh my God, I just shot her.’"

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Lindsays Waves Goodbye to Rehab, Hello to Sin City

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Lindsay071607 The Mean Girl is finally free! After 45 days of rehab (complete with MySpace love letters, a birthday party in bad shoes, and lots of AA meetings) Lindsay Lohan has walked out of Promises Treatment Facility a clean woman. And where did she immediately head to celebrate her sobriety? Las Vegas. But don’t you worry – LiLo may have hit up nightclub Pure to celebrate her assistant’s birthday, but there was only water and Red Bull on hand for the rehabbed starlet. And to convince you doubters out there, Linds is going to be sporting an alcohol monitoring bracelet (which conveniently does not track cocaine snortage) as proof that she’s staying sober when surrounded by booze.

The starlet is beginning her new outpatient treatment with drama already on the horizon. In an online chat with blogger CelebSlam, a p*ssed off LiLo revealed that naked photos of her taken by Calum Best have been stolen off her computer and that she’s got her lawyers on the job. Poor Lindsay – millions of dollars in the bank and yet she can’t seem to find a hacker-proof computer. Still, can’t we just leave the starlet alone for a second so she can get her sh*t straightened out? If she has some space she’s sure to do something uber-insane again. And really, how much more bare, freckled skin do we need to see?

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Monday: Paris Has a Playdate; Snoop Snags Reality Show

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Paris071607 Brangelina Brood Leaves Prague
Bony Saint Angelina, Papa Pitt, and their tiny crew of kids boarded a private jet out of Prague this weekend. Are they headed home to New Orleans or could they be off to adopt another tot? [Just Jared]

Paris: G-Rated Sleepover with Pals
Paris invited friends to a weekend sleepover at her fave Beverly Hills Hotel bungalow where the group chowed on grilled cheese sandwiches and strawberry shakes and watch old movies. [NY Post]

Simon Blasts Kelly Clarkson
Idol judge Simon Cowell went after Kelly Clarkson, following her attack on? aging label head Clive Davis. Does the embattled pop star have any friends left in the business?? [TMZ]

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The Weekly Wrap-Up: Paris’ Pants, Beyonc?’s BFF, Lindsay’s Love Letters

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Beckhams300x400    Beyonce300x400    Busta300x400    Lindsay300x400

Diddy300x400_2    Sienna300x400

    Jessica300x400    Fergie300x400_2

 

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Jermaine Dupri: Moving Out of Janet’s Way

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Jermaine Dupri has revealed that his girlfriend Janet Jackson is following in his footsteps by moving from Virgin Records (where Jermaine was the president of the urban-music department and where Janet has been releasing records since 1993′s janet.) to Island Def Jam. Unlike with Janet’s flop 2006 album 20 Y.O., Jermaine, now the president of Island Records Urban Music, says he’s keeping his hands off her next album:

She’s on Island, but it’s more or less [Def Jam CEO Antonio "L.A." Reid's] project. I let him deal with that on a day-to-day basis…I don’t really know what he’s got in mind at this point. His past record isn’t shabby so I’m going to let him do what he’s going to do. I’m going to do [the new] Mariah [Carey album], and we’re going to make it seem like we’re in competition to see who’s going to have the biggest album of the year.

While the release of Janet’s next disc is as yet unknown, Mariah’s follow-up to The Emancipation of Mimi has been tapped for a Nov. 20 release. The two titan divas going head-to-head is an exciting prospect, however, I get the feeling that this could all be settled with a few rounds of mud wrestling or foxy boxing. They both have the boobs for it.

But really, Jermaine is widely blamed for the failure of 20 Y.O. His lack of involvement could be the best thing for Janet’s career since getting those ribs removed liposuction she became, like, really hot via a sensible diet and strenuous exercise. [Billboard.com / Image credit: Getty]

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Brit and K-Fed: Snoopin’ on Each Other

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There’s no trust left in this crumbled marriage. Both Britney and Kevin have allegedly hired private investigators to dig up dirt to use against each other in their messy custody battle. And though it would be adorable and we’re sure Brit considered it – the snoops are not Jayden James and Sean Preston. So what have they learned? According to Kevin’s spy, Britney has a booze runner who goes out and picks up her bottles so no one spots her at the liquor store. Now this IS something she’s having her kids do, natch. She also reportedly walks around the house naked and doesn’t care who sees her. Come on Kev - is anyone really looking?

The naked pop star got a big pile of dirt on her ex too. Her spy reportedly says K-Fed boozes with pals, smokes mounds of marijuana, and brings home ladies galore for one night stands. How fatherly! This is parenting at its best, folks. The judge in their custody battle should do the right thing and just keep those two kids for himself. It’s doubtful Sean and JJ enjoy being shuttled between CheetoLand and the poor man’s Playboy mansion. Poor little tots. Now go get Mommy some Schnapps! [Splash News]

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Travis and Shanna Keep the Trend Going

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Big surprise – the stars of MTV’s Meet The Barkers are calling it quits for realsies this time. After shooting their reality – "look at us we’re a normal married couple with kids, tattoos and millions of dollars" – show about wedded bliss, the pair split, reconciled, and have now split again, for good. And good riddance to them! They join a slew of other couples who popped upon MTV together and in love only to find themselves bitten by the "We’re so happy together" reality TV show curse. Think we’re lying? Look who else has felt the black magic:

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Kelis Hearts Hate Speech?

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In what appears to be a regular column, Kelis gets her post-Imus discourse on in the latest issue of the newish, hip lass mag Missbehave. The piece titled "Kelis On…Name Calling," finds Mrs. Nas raging against political correctness. "If everyone just said what they thought, maybe we could move on, get past it all and really be free," Kelis writes in one of her more reasoned statements. One to practice what she preaches, Kelis indeed says what she thinks throughout the piece, taking an extreme stance to seemingly prove a point. "How about if a straight man calls another straight man ‘faggot?’" she wonders. "Is it more offensive if the man is gay?" That probably can only be answered on a case-to-case basis: does it hurt more as a gay man to be talked about behind your back or to your face?

Her most outrageous statement, however concerns our very own commander-in-chief.

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Usher’s Confession: I’m Not Whipped!

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He may be one of the sexiest guys in the world, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be controlled by a lady (Right ladies? Boss those men around!). Media outlets galore have reported for a while that Usher is under the thumb of fianc? Tameka Foster, who supposedly got the star to fire his mother as his long time manager.The crooner sent an open letter to People addressing rumors about his relationship, life, and accusations of physical violence against radio host Tom Joyner – which he denies. He writes, "I am happy, excited, completely clear and independent on my direction, feelings, decisions and I am NOT BEING LED. "

Usher also attacked those wedding rumors. He says, "It has already been announced that I plan to marry this year. However,
since my wedding day will be special to Tameka and I, this is
information that we would like to keep private." YEAH right! He can’t talk about it cuz that controlling lady of his won’t let him. We know a whipped man when we see one! [People]

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Diddy Wants You (To Get Him Cheesecake)

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Are you unemployed? Looking to try a new line of work? Are you "the best"? Then you just might be Diddy‘s new assistant. The man of many monikers is in search of a new assistant, and all you have to do is upload a three-minute video to the Internet to apply. Though Diddy’s call to apply has a home-made, late-night, north-Jersey-furniture-showroom-commercial feel to it, one has to imagine that the man has money to spend, but there’s no word on compensation. And while you may not have a 401K, chances are you stand to gain a cast-off nickname and all the Sean John clothing you can wear out of the office. Check out some of the applicants here.

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