The Weekly Wrap-Up: Akon Tosses, Vanessa Slices & Paris Cries

by (@katespencer)

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  Dina_2 Tpain_150x   Aniston_2  Akon  Britbabies  Crissangel Vanessa060507 Ciara_175x

Friday: Isaiah Gets The Boot; Lindsay’s Craving Ambien

by (@katespencer)

Paula
Abdul: Treated Like "Dog Sh*t"

Paula’s p*ssed that her people treat her like cr*p. Then she falls over. Her reality show is gonna be amazing! [NY Daily News]

Angry Isaiah Axed From Grey’s
After stirring up controversy with homophobic cracks, Dr. Preston Burke is banned from Seattle Grace Hospital. [People]

Brit Caught Kissing Counselor
The washed up pop star met with her rehab-assigned drug counselor and ended the night lockin’ lips with the guy. Whatever it takes to stay sober, right? [The Superficial]

Read more…

Lily Allen, Big Drinker

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Lilyallen5 Speaking to New York City weekly Time Out, British ragamuffin and sometime tour-canceller Lily Allen explained she has an addictive personality. She was a woman on the verge there for a while, but now she seems to have put things in perspective. Allen says she hasn’t touched any alcohol since January, and explained to the magazine that she knows the warning signs. "When you walk into your dressing room every night and there are 40 beers there, it?s difficult to not drink them all, you know? Like I said, I have a very addictive personality, and alcohol leads to other things. I don?t want to end up hanging over a toilet seat snorting coke when I?m 50." Lily’s smart. And if she’s interested in giving up music to go into counselling, we know a few people who could use her help.

The Week in Bono

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Bonobushsmall Bono‘s a busy man. After guest editing the new issue of Vanity Fair, Bono trekked off to the Northern African nation of Morocco to join his bandmates, as well as The Unforgettable Fire producer Brian Eno, for a songwriting session. Whether any album is forthcoming from the sessions remains to be seen: "We have no plans for the music yet," Bono reported on the band’s website.

Apparently no one’s more psyched than President George Bush, who after delivering a speech Thursday at the G-8 summit, allegedly shouted to an aid "Where’s Bono? Bono for President!" Bush then pulled out his copy of Zooropa, hoping for an autograph.

The Hollywood Bling Finger Watch

by (@katespencer)

Every day, some star pops up lugging around a ten carat diamond ring
on their left hand, and then spends the rest of the week having their
people deny that the ring is anything besides "just jewelry." But why
not just take the (pre-nupped) plunge and get engaged, you sweet, screwy
Tinseltown couples? We all know what’s comin’ your way eventually!

Below we break down the latest couples to make a blip on the ring radar this week and rate their chances of real engagement bling action.

Jaybeyonce_4
Couple:
Jay-Z & Beyonce
The rumor’s out the the most powerful
man in hip hop (and possibly the entire music world) popped the
question to his queen B on a "romantic getaway in Cannes." Sources say
that Hova has promised her "the biggest diamond she can fit on her
finger."
Blingability: 2 carats. This rumor’s been going around for
years. And besides, he’s JAY-Z, he would’ve shown up with a rock the
size of Pluto and done it right.

Read more…

Justin Timberlake Goes to “Rehab”

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Everyone’s headed to rehab and Justin Timberlake won’t be left out. Last night during a performance in Zurich, Switzerland, the pop hunk started singing a few bars of Amy Winehouse‘s substance-friendly smash "Rehab." Now folks are suggesting the song, which J Timber changed to say "they tried to make her go to rehab," could have been a message to ex-girlfriend Britney Spears.
In other dreamy former boy bander news, Justin’s announced the first signing to his label, Tennman Records — 18-year-old YouTube phenom Esmee Denters. Through performing covers of Beyonce and Alicia Keys, Denters received 21 million hits on her YouTube postings.

Britney’s Boring Babies

by (@katespencer)

Britbabies_2
OMG!  Today we finally got to see the mug of BritBrit’s less-loved second child, Jayden James (we also get to see his mom in a string bikini, but just try to ignore that mess)! Only thing is, he looks EXACTLY
like the older one, Sean Preston. Snooze. I liked him better in Britney’s belly. Still, you can’t really dis a baby. He needs to be at least, like, 2 years old before it’s okay to pick on him. Which means…little Sean P. is almost fair game. So I won’t say anything about that ridiculous bathing suit wedgie – yet. 

The Saga of Enrique’s Equipment

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Enrique_dingdongSome people think of Enrique Iglesias as primarily a singer. I think of him as primarily a penis-haver. For almost two years, Enrique’s down-below microphone has stuck out in public discourse much more than his music. "Hero" schmero — Enrique proves that if you really want to make an impact, you should talk about your him-hang.

The latest word from Enrique is that he’s "huge," but that’s a recent development. Enrique’s public peen powwow started in October 2005, when he "mock seriously" told a Houston Press reporter: "The next product I’m gonna put my name on is extra-small condoms. I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it’s really embarrassing for people — you know, from experience. Hopefully people won’t be ashamed when I step forward." But it turned out that no one was more ashamed than Enrique.

Read more…

Thursday: Angelina Takes It Off; Lindsay’s A Gym Rat

by (@katespencer)

Angie
Angelina Loves Naked Chit Chat

The sexy mom of four feels most comfortable having heart to hearts while bare-ass. Brad’s one lucky guy. [Us Magazine]

50 Cent Plots Disappearing Act

The hip-hop star is ready to take a rest from recording after dropping his next two discs. [Minsters & Critics]

LC & Heidi: Rumble In The Hills
These two frenemies are crashing each other’s shoots to secure
airtime. This behind-the-scenes battle sounds better than their show. [Us Magazine]

Read more…

Hilary: Ready for her Breakdown?

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Hilary_onbrit

Hilary Duff recently shared her thoughts on the turn Britney Spears‘ life has taken, saying Spears’ breakdown was "inevitable." Apparently, in between cutting pop music that’s neither popular nor musical and choosing a succession of film roles that’s the celluloid equivalent of walking through a house with dog crap on your shoe, Hilary is a behavioral expert. Who knew? Says Hils:

"Being Britney Spears must be difficult. She’s been told what to do since she was young. She’s not a bad mom – she’s a first-time mom, and because she’s famous, she’s expected never to make mistakes. The pressure she’s under would get to anyone. People need to leave her alone."

Hilary, who’s also been told what to do since she was young, says she fears for her own emotional well-being. "I’m not going to stop doing what I love because I’m afraid of breaking down," she adds. Atta girl, Hils. Keep doing what you’re doing! You’re gonna look so hot with a shaved head one day, when you’re a little older! [The Post Chronicle / Image credit: Getty]