Tour Survival Guide: The Bravery

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Now and then our Tour Survival Guide will check in with rockers on the road. Here’s The Bravery singer Sam Endicott on the power of Red Bull, Tokyo bathroom etiquette, and disappointing methods of birth control.

Semper Fi, Guys
We asked for extra-large condoms [on our tour rider]. Like the largest condoms possible. I was hoping we’d get XXL condoms or something, but I guess they don’t really make those. The biggest you can get are Trojans. They max out at Trojan Magnums. That’s as exciting as it gets.

No Caramel Macchiato For You!
I basically live off Red Bull. I wake up in the morning and drink a Red Bull. I need as much caffeine as possible, and I can’t drink coffee, because coffee is just disgusting to me. I hate the taste of it. Like whenever I walk into a Starbucks I want to vomit. So I drink Red Bull all day. We actually have a Red Bull sponsorship. We call and they’ll send cases of Red Bull anywhere we want.

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Simpson and Mayer Split?

by (@katespencer)

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Extra TV is reporting that multiple sources have confirmed Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have parted ways after nine undoubtedly musical months. Awwww. But they seemed to have so much in common and looked so happy together!

Because of the shocking nature of this story, we have nothing to add. Really: a national tragedy is what this is. [ExtraTV.com / Image credit: Getty]

Road Tales: Nasty Army Girls

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Our ramp-up to Rock Honors (Thursday, May 24) always includes revealing chats with the music’s stars. Road Tales focuses on some the silliness (and sex) that goes down when artists are on tour.

Luther Campbell is no stranger to sexual hijinks. But even the boss of the infamous 2 Live Crew had to shake his head when a swarm of ladies in uniform jumped on stage and started rocking the wild thing at a club gig. Let him explain it to you…

Fiddy Waxes Eloquent On Censorship

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I don’t blame you if 50 Cent isn’t exactly your point person for intuition and eloquence. This is, after all, a man who thinks nothing of combining childhood imagery (candy shops, amusement parks) with raunch, a man who will "whip your head, boy," a man who thinks he’s doing you a favor when he says, "I’ll let you lick my d***."

It was, then, a great surprise when, during a press conference Wednesday, Fiddy stepped up his insight after being grilled about the initiative to remove those three infamous words from hip-hop. The rapper won’t be censoring himself any time soon, and here’s his explanation why:

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Avril: Rock ‘n’ Roll Actor?

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Avril_2Canadian mall-punk princess Avril Lavigne wasn’t quite as topless on the cover of Blender as we’d hoped . . . er, believed. She told MTV News that she was wearing a tube top, which the magazine covered up with a strategically placed coverline. That’s OK, though: It’s all part of a campaign to rehabilitate the singer’s image. She wants to be all dangerous now. Consider: "The Blender shoot was really fun because it was super rock and roll — we had a bottle of [whiskey] and ate cupcakes." This, of course, makes tons of sense since it is difficult to get more rock and roll than cupcakes. Also making sense?  Her desire to act: "I would want to go for a more serious drama, something darker that would take a lot of emotion." That’s because someone must have told her that her cameo in Fast Food Nation was a good part of that film. And that person is a bad friend.

Evanescence Drummer eBays His Goodies

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Evanescence_2Unceremoniously dismissed Evanescence drummer Rocky Gray is selling the six gold and platinum plaques he received with the band on eBay. Gray explained the decision as "just kinda cleanin’ house a little bit." Since management asked Gray to leave the band, along with guitarist John Lecompt, on May 5, Gray has been tight-lipped about his departure. Potential bidders will be happy to know that Gray, a.k.a. biggcrazy, has yet to receive any bids on the plaques (reserve price $500), though the transaction might be sketchy, as he’s yet to receive any feedback. In other Evanescence news, the band will continue touring with two new members formerly of Dark New Day, Troy McLawhorn and Will Hunt.

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Police Blotter: Cops Spy on MCs, Eat Weed

by (@katespencer)

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Two stories from the world of law-enforcement. Cops gotta get their intel somewhere, but it’s still chilling to think that the comings and goings of hip-hop heroes such as Diddy, Jay-Z, and LL Cool J were monitored around the time of the Republican National Convention that was held in NYC.  Alicia Keys, too, dude. Now, what could that nice young lady do wrong?

Elsewhere, one man in blue lifted a bunch of pot from mind-altered scalawags, and instead of turning it into the evidence room, baked it up for himself and his honey. Then he called 911 because he thought he was dead. He wasn’t. It’s believed that Pink Floyd’s "Comfortably Numb" was involved as well.

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Five Alive!: Win Tickets to Maroon 5

by (@katespencer)

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What’s better than streaming Maroon 5‘s new album It Won’t Be Soon Before Long an entire week before it comes out? How about having them play it live, for you. That’s right — we’re giving you the opportunity to win two tickets to the Cali quintet’s intimate club show in the city of your choosing. And there won’t be just one winner — we’re choosing nine winners to see Adam and crew with a guest. Enter here!

Help Madonna Save Earth

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Madonna “Hey You” is a new Madonna song, which sounds distinctly Christmas-y — surprising, since it was produced by Pharrell. But whatever, and we’ll save lap dance puns for the next time Madonna winds up at a strip club for research. It’s available online now to download for free, legally, as part of the promotion for Al Gore’s Live Earth bonanza, the seven-continent-concert that’s going to go down July 7th. Madge will perform “Hey You” as part of Live Earth, but don’t download the track just to memorize the lyrics. Get it now because for each of the first million downloads, MSN will donate 25 cents to the Alliance for Climate Protection. Nice work, Madonna.