The Weekly Wrap-Up: Britney Blogs, Kelly Cancels, Paris Becomes a Cartoon

by (@katespencer)

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Do Not Follow Lindsay’s Lead

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Linds_glamThe underage partying ways of Lindsay Lohan that led her to rehab are being used to scare young ones away from the club scene. Well, actually, they’re being used to scare club owners from allowing underage kids admittance to their spots. Earlier this month, the New York Daily News reported on the crackdown, dubbed "Lohan’s Law," and this week two young stars felt its wrath — Rihanna and Cassie were denied entry into the New York album-release party for Fabolous. Poor things. Is this the superstar equivalent of being bullied by a mean girl?

In other Linds news, she’ll supposedly bust out of rehab next week. An unnamed source told the Daily News: "She has cut a lot of negative influences in her life. She and [mom] Dina speak every day." Ha! Those two sentences together prove that "a lot" does not mean "all." Way to rock the inadvertent irony, unnamed source!

Concert For Diana: Celebrate With Music

by (@katespencer)

Diana_portrait_s_2 Nothing unusual about kids throwing a birthday party for their mom – unless of course the children are royals, the mother is one of the world?s most beloved women, and the guest list includes some of the coolest pop and hip-hop musicians around. The Concert for Diana, which commemorates the Princess of Wales, takes place in London’s Wembley Stadium and will be broadcast live on VH1, is one of the summer’s pop events.

"We wanted to have a big concert, full of energy, full of the sort of fun and happiness she enjoyed," says Prince William of the show. The proceeds will go to some of Princess Diana’s favorite charities. Featuring artists as varied as Elton John, Kanye West, Joss Stone, P. Diddy, and Fergie, the six-hour affair should be a blast. The show will be live on VH1 starting at 11 a.m. EST on July 1. VH1.com will also stream the entire event. VH1 Classic will re-air the full show an hour after its conclusion. Get psyched by checking out pics of the participants.

Friday: Angelina’s Bony Bod; Nicole Scheming to Dodge Jail

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Angie
Lindsay Lawsuit: She Was Buzzed

The owner of the van hit by Lilo is accusing the rehabbing starlet of chugging a few cocktails at the Ivy before crashing into his car with her Mercedes. [E Online]

Brit’s Mom Befriends K-Fed’s Ex
It’s rumored that Lynne Spears’ budding friendship with Kevin’s ex Shar Jackson sent Britney over the edge, resulting in her severing the family ties. [Us Magazine]

Angelina: Stress Makes Me Skinny
The super thin super-mom says the stress of her own mother’s death in January is the cause of her drastic weight loss. [Us Magazine]

Read more…

Tango’s Tracks: Nas & the Gothy Guyliners

by (@katespencer)

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Dude’s got a collection of almost 700 fitted caps. He wears each of ‘em to the side, and that deliberate angle tells you something about his swagger. Tango’s got a reason to walk tall. After winning his lady’s heart on VH1′s I Love New York, the aspiring rapper has got a little fire burning under him. The buzz has started. We caught up with him to talk music. It’s not shocking that a young MC is knocked out Nas, but when he started throwing guyliner bands and The Fray at us, we knew Tango was unique. Find out what other artists made his list.

More Kelly Clarkson Drama: Tour Canceled

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Kelly
Just yesterday we reported that the original American Idol had fired her longtime manager as a result of her alleged fall-out with label head Clive Davis over her upcoming album My December. This afternoon, word has come via Kelly’s website that her upcoming summer tour has been canceled!

Kelly wrote on her site that, "The fact is that touring is just too much too soon," but a statement released by her representatives gives the darker details: "Plans for Kelly Clarkson’s summer tour have been shelved for now as the
singer and her team re-evaluate her show’s size and scope." Ticket sales for her shows were also lower than expected.

Eek. What is happening to our once solid, stable pop star?  Could her album really be that bad? If she starts reaching for the clippers or crashing her car into trees we’ll know she’s in real trouble.

50 Cent: The Real Hottest Bachelor

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People Magazine‘s Hottest Bachelors issue is out, featuring the sweet , hunky faces of Blake Lewis, Jake Gyllenhaal and Ludacris. But they might want to revise their list to add 50 Cent, who just got $100 million richer.

The hip-hop star is packing away a ton of cash from his deal with Glaceau, the makers of Vitamin Water. Fifty signed on to have a drink named after him (Formula 50) in exchange for equity in the company as a shareholder. Glaceau was just bought by Coca Cola in a massive $4.1 billion deal, and now the rapper is set to rake it in, adding to his already enormous pile of millions.

It’s really cute that single Blake Lewis can beat-
box and all, but wouldn’t you rather have a man with millions upon millions of dollars – and a ton of crazy tattoos?

Thursday: Brit Strips; Jen Gets Played

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John Yells at Jess: "Go Away!"

An exhausted Mayer freaks out on Simpson over the phone, allegedly demanding that she stop calling and texting. [Popcrunch]

Brit Strips Off Clothes for Cash?
The pop star’s been spotted changing outfits multiple times a day. The reason? A rumored deal with a paparazzi house, who can get more dough for each different pic of Brit. [TMZ]

Guard’s Book: Lilo Groped Mariah!
Her former bodyguard’s tell-all reveals that Lindsay supposedly loved the ladies, attacked Jessica Simpson and was dangerous to be around. That sounds about right! [MSNBC]

Read more…

Kim To Become Kardashi-cat

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KardashicatIf you haven’t seen Kim Kardashian‘s vagina by now, you’re either blind or religious. Either way: fair enough. If you’re the rare creature that doesn’t fall into the above two categories, here’s a consolation: soon, you’ll get to see Kim’s Pussycat. The woman most famous for her sex tape is said to be in talks to join the Pusscat Dolls‘ Las Vegas review, which has a sort of revolving door policy for celebrity guests (Scarlett Johansson, Christina Aguilera and Eva Longoria have all played in their litter box shared their stage). There are no details of Kim’s supposed PCD stint, but all signs point to it being a temporary gig.

As amusing as this news is, it’s also sort of counterproductive to Kim’s skank factor. Going from hardcore porn to burlesque (or whatever you want to call the PCD’s peen-teasing) is like going from Bergdorf Goodman to Fashion Bug. DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! [TMZ]

Brit’s Brilliant Album Ideas

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Every time Britney updates her website (remember this gem about hitting rock bottom?), I like to imagine her barefoot, locked in a giant computer room at her mansion in Malibu, typing away furiously while shoveling Cheetos in her mouth, and grinning as she types up some crazy rant while her "people" bang on the door begging her to stop. Thankfully, if this scenario is really taking place (oh, I hope so), she’s not listening to anyone but her the voices in her head (or weave). And they’re kind of weird.

Check out her latest masterpiece currently up on Britney Spears.com:

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Can anyone make sense of this mess? I cant, so I’m pretty sure the joke is on me. I’m voting for #2, even though I’m sure we all agree that Omg is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like is quite possibly, like, the greatest, like, album name EVER, like.