Mariah Carey’s Face Is Weird

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Mariah Carey hadn’t been photographed for almost four months until she attended last week’s Fresh Air Fund Salute To American Heroes gala in New York. Mariah reemerged from recording in Anguilla looking tired (island life is waaaay stressful!). But looking tired is an upgrade from the last time she was photographed, in February, when she just looked sort of…odd. But that was an improvement on the time before it (November ’06), when Mariah’s face looked like a creepy, strategic arrangement of pin cushions.

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See, the thing about Mariah’s face is that it looks different every time you see it. If I had to take a guess as to why Mariah’s face sometimes looks normal (albeit full of cheekbones) and sometimes looks like marshmallows in a microwave, I’d chalk it up to Restalyne, the anti-aging injections that fight wrinkles and often result in swollen faces. Looks like Mariah’s due for another injection!

You can’t blame her for trying to fight age (she’s a product of youth-obsessed culture), but if at 37, she’s already altering her face, one thing is for certain: she’s going to be a crazy-looking old lady one day. Lindsay Lohan and I can’t wait!

More shots of Mariah’s sleepy face and bangin’ bod at the Fresh Air Fund gala are after the jump…

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Tour Survival Guide: Hinder

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Hinder

Now and then our Tour Survival Guide will check in with rockers about life on the road. Here’s Hinder’s Cody Hanson on what keeps them running: booze, porn stars and the fans.

Diet of Champions
We took most of the food off [our rider] because you can only get so much [alcohol], and if you have food on there, it’s taking up your alcohol money. Now we get a loaf of bread, and peanut butter and jelly. I’ve been on a cottage cheese kick lately. It’s amazing what you’ll eat at the end of the night when you’re all f*cked up.

They can Time Travel to 1986
Ron Jeremy
came to Oklahoma City and introduced us — we had two hometown shows back-to-back. One night was Ron Jeremy and the other night was Jesse Jane. So we had two different porn stars introduce us two different nights. That was the second time we’d met Ron Jeremy. He’d introduced us in L.A. We were doing an Eddie Money cover and we invited [Eddie Money] to come sing with us on stage. And Ron Jeremy called up the club and asked if he could introduce us — he’s a big fan. Then we all went out and got sh*t-faced at the Rainbow.

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Monday: Olsens Twins Tick Off Fashion World; No Sex For Justin Timberlake

by (@katespencer)

Olsens
Ryan Rips Simon on Idol Ratings
Seacrest blames the cocky British judge for American Idol‘s recent ratings drop. We point the finger at Sanjaya. [MSNBC]

NBC: Desperate for Rosie Rebound
Network execs are scrambling to bring the uber-popular View host to their small screen. [Fox News]

Olsens P*ss Off Fashion World
Mary Kate and Ashley’s new upscale fashion line has designers worrying about a loss of customers. If it’s anything like J. Lo’s line, Madison Ave has nothing to fear.  [NY Times]

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The Weekly Wrap-Up: Akon Tosses, Vanessa Slices & Paris Cries

by (@katespencer)

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  Dina_2 Tpain_150x   Aniston_2  Akon  Britbabies  Crissangel Vanessa060507 Ciara_175x

Friday: Isaiah Gets The Boot; Lindsay’s Craving Ambien

by (@katespencer)

Paula
Abdul: Treated Like "Dog Sh*t"

Paula’s p*ssed that her people treat her like cr*p. Then she falls over. Her reality show is gonna be amazing! [NY Daily News]

Angry Isaiah Axed From Grey’s
After stirring up controversy with homophobic cracks, Dr. Preston Burke is banned from Seattle Grace Hospital. [People]

Brit Caught Kissing Counselor
The washed up pop star met with her rehab-assigned drug counselor and ended the night lockin’ lips with the guy. Whatever it takes to stay sober, right? [The Superficial]

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Lily Allen, Big Drinker

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Lilyallen5 Speaking to New York City weekly Time Out, British ragamuffin and sometime tour-canceller Lily Allen explained she has an addictive personality. She was a woman on the verge there for a while, but now she seems to have put things in perspective. Allen says she hasn’t touched any alcohol since January, and explained to the magazine that she knows the warning signs. "When you walk into your dressing room every night and there are 40 beers there, it?s difficult to not drink them all, you know? Like I said, I have a very addictive personality, and alcohol leads to other things. I don?t want to end up hanging over a toilet seat snorting coke when I?m 50." Lily’s smart. And if she’s interested in giving up music to go into counselling, we know a few people who could use her help.

The Week in Bono

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Bonobushsmall Bono‘s a busy man. After guest editing the new issue of Vanity Fair, Bono trekked off to the Northern African nation of Morocco to join his bandmates, as well as The Unforgettable Fire producer Brian Eno, for a songwriting session. Whether any album is forthcoming from the sessions remains to be seen: "We have no plans for the music yet," Bono reported on the band’s website.

Apparently no one’s more psyched than President George Bush, who after delivering a speech Thursday at the G-8 summit, allegedly shouted to an aid "Where’s Bono? Bono for President!" Bush then pulled out his copy of Zooropa, hoping for an autograph.

The Hollywood Bling Finger Watch

by (@katespencer)

Every day, some star pops up lugging around a ten carat diamond ring
on their left hand, and then spends the rest of the week having their
people deny that the ring is anything besides "just jewelry." But why
not just take the (pre-nupped) plunge and get engaged, you sweet, screwy
Tinseltown couples? We all know what’s comin’ your way eventually!

Below we break down the latest couples to make a blip on the ring radar this week and rate their chances of real engagement bling action.

Jaybeyonce_4
Couple:
Jay-Z & Beyonce
The rumor’s out the the most powerful
man in hip hop (and possibly the entire music world) popped the
question to his queen B on a "romantic getaway in Cannes." Sources say
that Hova has promised her "the biggest diamond she can fit on her
finger."
Blingability: 2 carats. This rumor’s been going around for
years. And besides, he’s JAY-Z, he would’ve shown up with a rock the
size of Pluto and done it right.

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Justin Timberlake Goes to “Rehab”

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Everyone’s headed to rehab and Justin Timberlake won’t be left out. Last night during a performance in Zurich, Switzerland, the pop hunk started singing a few bars of Amy Winehouse‘s substance-friendly smash "Rehab." Now folks are suggesting the song, which J Timber changed to say "they tried to make her go to rehab," could have been a message to ex-girlfriend Britney Spears.
In other dreamy former boy bander news, Justin’s announced the first signing to his label, Tennman Records — 18-year-old YouTube phenom Esmee Denters. Through performing covers of Beyonce and Alicia Keys, Denters received 21 million hits on her YouTube postings.

Britney’s Boring Babies

by (@katespencer)

Britbabies_2
OMG!  Today we finally got to see the mug of BritBrit’s less-loved second child, Jayden James (we also get to see his mom in a string bikini, but just try to ignore that mess)! Only thing is, he looks EXACTLY
like the older one, Sean Preston. Snooze. I liked him better in Britney’s belly. Still, you can’t really dis a baby. He needs to be at least, like, 2 years old before it’s okay to pick on him. Which means…little Sean P. is almost fair game. So I won’t say anything about that ridiculous bathing suit wedgie – yet.