Thursday: Beyonc? Betrayed by Audience; Paris is a Compulsive Dog Shopper

by (@katespencer)

beyonce072607.jpgBeyonc? Begs Fans to be Nice
After taking a major tumble at her concert in Orlando, Beyonc? begged fans not to put video of her fall on YouTube. They may love her music, but they sure don’t listen to the diva’s demands! [NY Post]

Ashlee Simpson: Baby Bump Alert?
Is the younger Simpson sister following in Nicole Richie’s footsteps? There’s no baby bump to spot, but the rumors still won’t die. [X17]

Brangelina: Family Time in France
The hot couple and their kid clan hung with pal Marianne Pearl before jetting off on a ten day vacation. Expect some European adorableness to ensue. [People]

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Is K-Fed The Voice of Reason?

by (@katespencer)

kevinfederline072507.jpgThat guy? No way. Just say it ain’t so Britney. Please, just tell us you’re the better parent. Ugh – you didn’t really just jump into the ocean in your underwear, did you?

Sigh. Things keep looking down for Brit, as her ex-assistant and cousin Alli apparently has left Brit’s side to join Lynne Spears and Kevin Federline in the fight to wrangle JJ and Sean P. away from their crazy mama. A source told OK!, “Alli gave specific instances where Brit couldn’t handle having the kids. Kevin was angry at Britney for putting his kids in jeopardy and immediately phoned his lawyer to investigate the claims further. He couldn’t believe she had gotten so out of control.”

Really? How could he not have guessed that when she walks around like this? It’s scary to think that we now live in a world where K-Fed, sock n’ flip flops wearing, “PoPoZao” rapping K-Fed, is the better parent. Although to his credit, “PoPoZao” sounds way better as a lullaby. Alli must have really seen some crazy stuff. Or maybe she just got sick of mopping up dog pee with Versace gowns. [Image: Getty]

Rihanna: Shilling Umbrella-ella-ellas

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rihanna.jpgEveryone’s favorite Barbadian ambassador is bringing new levels of synergy to pop-music metaphors. Not since OutKast’s shameless promotion of Polaroid has an artist shilled so hard for a product that most people don’t spend much time thinking about. In this case, Rihanna has gone into business with Totes (think Isotoners) to create a line of umbrellas, inspired, of course, by her song “Umbrella.” Ranging in price from $15-$50, Rihanna’s line of rain gear comes with names like Satin Stick and Signature Slender: fun, even if the names are slightly reminscent of air freshener flavors. Kudos to Totes for spotting an opportunity to take advantage of the song of the summer. And accolades go to Rihanna, too, who told Paper magazine in a recent interview that she wanted to be “the black Madonna.” Since Madonna’s talents naturally run to business management, Rihanna’s fledgling mogul-hood shouldn’t come as a surprise.

What Britney Allegedly Stole

by (@katespencer)

britney.jpgPerez Hilton has an early look at the OK! mag spread, which will allegedly reveal how Britney terrorized a photoshoot by showing up three hours late, allowing her dog to pee and poop all over the place (cleaning it up with a couture gown), using the bathroom with the door open, insisting on wearing dresses two sizes two small, and then having a paranoid freak-out and dashing off the set with approximately $20,000 of clothes and jewelry. The NY Post reports that after wiping her hands on a $274 dress and cleaning up her dog’s mess with a $6,700 Zac Posen gown, Brit dashed off the set in “$12,861 worth of jewelry, a $974 Vera Wang dress, $380 Lanvin heels and a $281 Pucci scarf. When the clothes she ruined are added, the total comes to $21,267.”

She probably got home, dumped all the goodies in a big pile, and instructed her doggie to use it as a wee pad.

Beyonce Meets Destiny – On Her Ass

by (@katespencer)

Not to be outdone by her Destiny’s Child group-mates (remember Michelle’s topple and Kelly’s recent stage dive?), Beyonce took a spectacular fall last night down a set of stairs while performing in Orlando. But girl’s a trooper – she gets right back up and keeps on swinging that head, shaking that booty and lip-synching the hell out of some lyrics. Good for her. She was probably just getting nervous that Kelly’s getting more famous that her and needed to remind the fans who’s boss.

Lindsay: Denial is a Girl’s Best Friend

by (@katespencer)

lindsayinnocent.jpgAs we all know by know, Lindsay Lohan was arrested for chasing down another car while drunk and in possession of cocaine. But here is Lindsay’s take on things, in her own words, as sent to Access Hollywood‘s Billy Bush in an email:

“I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy.”

Didn’t they teach her in those 45 days of rehab to just steer clear of drugs all together? What kind of thinking goes into “Oh, I’m not gonna snort this bag of coke, just nestle it gently against my thigh deep within my J Brand Jeans pocket. Now pass me the Grey Goose!” Come on Linds. Say a serenity prayer instead. [Yahoo. Booking Image]

Wednesday: Jay-Z’s Job Hunting; Tom and Katie Bump n’ Grind

by (@katespencer)

jayz072507.jpgUsher: Tying the Knot This Weekend
The cutie crooner and his bride-to-be are supposedly set to make it official this weekend at LA Reid’s Hamptons mansion. Rumor is that Beyonce may be in attendance but not Usher’s mom. Did someone say Groomzilla? [OK! Magazine]

Christina?s Pregnancy Cravings
The pregnant pop star sent her hubby Jordy out for donuts before her Sydney performance. That baby bump must really love sweets and junk food. [A Socialite's Life]

Jay-Z: Jumping Ship as Label Head?
The Island Def Jam president may be looking to make the switch to Columbia, home to girlfriend Beyonce. Word is new Def Jam co-worker Jermaine Dupri is crampin’ Hova’s style. [NY Daily News]
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Lindsay’s Relapse: The Aftermath

by (@katespencer)

Linds is hopefully settling in to her new rehab bedroom by now, ready to slowly climb back on the wagon. Her rep reports that the star is at an undisclosed treatment facility, and also released this official statement:

“Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care.”

Perhaps a new day will shed more on what led Lindsay to hop in a car and chase down her assistant and her assistant’s mother. And maybe we’ll also learn why the starlet was reaching out to papparazzi agencies offering to sell them photos for cash. But for now, sit back, relax, tighten that alcohol monitoring device around your ankle and enjoy the above video of a police officer and his ‘stache telling you all you need to know about Lindsay’s wild ride off the deep end.

Mean Hilary Makes a Fan Cry

by (@katespencer)

hilary072407.jpgHilary Duff better check herself before she wrecks herself. Afterall, she’s about to become the last teen queen standing once Lindsay and Nicole are hauled off to jail (Paris and Britney are too tainted to even count anymore). But her new found position at the top of the heap hasn’t stopped Hil from being a total a-hole – to kids. The other night, while enjoying a dinner out in Texas, two nine year old girls with posters and t-shirts showed up hungry for some penned Duff love. But Joel Madden’s ex was having none of it! A source tells the NY Daily News that when the two girls approached the diva, “[Hilary] said, ‘I don’t really get to spend a lot of time with my family; sorry’ and walked out the door. She made one of the little girls cry.”

When did Hilary get famous enough to act like such a snob? Her sister Haylie we understand, but Hil? [NY Daily News. Image: Getty]

Whatcha Gonna Do When Big Boi Comes After You?

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Big Boi Says, ?Hello, world! Who?s your caddy??The more reserved half of OutKast put his money where his mouth is, defending his wife against sticky-fingered denim lovers. Translation? Big Boi‘s wife owns a boutique in Atlanta called P. Valentine, and, according to AllHipHop,?over the weekend a certain party (or parties) stole all of their jeans. So the eminently likable rap star went on a radio station and?offered $50,000 to the person who calls the store and lets him know who perpetrated the crime.?Apparently, he also told the Atlanta Journal Constitution, ?I?ve got to see about this personally. You don?t even have to call the police folk. Just call me . . . ?I?ll get this handled.? Speaking of bounties, is $50,000 a lot or a little these days? Anyone know? Our subscriptions to?Guns & Ammo and Don Diva have lapsed.