Britney to Judge on American Idol?

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Britney2_2Last season’s disappointing ratings of American Idol have started the rumor mill. If you believe the Interweb murmurs (and those of the National Enquirer), executives upset by Idol‘s viewership’s attrition — to Dancing With the Stars? come on, people! — may be not-so-quietly sharpening their knives for Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson. In their time of need, those in the brain trust at Fox have allegedly come up with a list of potential replacements for the two judges. Topping that list is disgraced pop star Britney Spears. And since Britney seems to have little else to do besides warning sunbathers against the dangers of jellyfish and mounting ill-conceived and poorly styled 12-minute "comeback" performances, we think this is a great idea. Go get ‘em, girl. That would be compelling television.

Wednesday: Nicole Might Be A Baby Mama; Rihanna Gets Ever Hotter

by (@katespencer)

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Nicole: Packin’ Pregnancy Pounds?

After being photographed at a fertility clinic, rumors run rampant that the pin thin starlet is eating for two. [MSNBC]

Paris On Silverman: An Effing B*tch

Sarah cracked wise about Hilton on The MTV Movies Awards show. Now Paris is p*ssed. Good thing she has three weeks in the clink to cool down. [Us Magazine]

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Glass-Encased Manson Throws Stones

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MansonDesperate shock rocker Marilyn Manson‘s latest stop on the Crazytrain? Dissing My Chemical Romance. Manson tells The London Paper his song "Mutilation Is the Most Sincere Form of Flattery," featuring the lyrics  "f*ck you, f*ck you," is directed at the Jersey goth rockers. Manson takes issue with the "sad, pitiful, shallow version" of Manson the band has affected. He then entreats the band, "If they want to identify with me, then here’s a razor blade. Call me when you’re done and we’ll talk."

Unfortunately, it seems that Mr. Brian Warner owns a glass house: He’s constructed his stage persona by ripping off Marilyn Monroe and Charles Manson, gotten his goth rock aesthetics from Alice Cooper, Trent Reznor and Ozzy Osbourne. Add to the list his stealing lengthy song titles from emo hearthrobs like Fall Out Boy, and Manson doesn’t have much room to speak. Most recently, he’s taken a page from recently divorced middle-aged men by dating someone half his age.

Hottie of the Week: Rihanna

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Photo_20x9_1 Hottie Photos: Rihanna

If you don’t believe Rihanna‘s hype even after seeing last Sunday’s MTV Movie Awards, then we don’t know how to help you. The 19-year-old "Umbrella" singer showed up Jay-Z with a choreographed routine where she was clad in fetish gear — basically what appeared to be a succession of belts. Fun.

Her third album, Good Girl Gone Bad, showcases more club-bangers and sensitive R&B balladry, but it’s her live performances we’re impressed by.

To see why you want to be under this girl’s umbrella-ella-ella any day-ay-ay, click the pics:

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And don’t miss our complete Rihanna: Hottie of the Week photo album!

Video: Angry Akon Tosses Kid Off Stage

by (@katespencer)

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Akon. (Photo: Getty Images)

The last time we watched video of Akon he was getting all grind-y onstage with a  15 year-old girl. In these new clips circulating the web, he is seen performing at the KFEST 2007 concert when a young boy in the audience throws something at the Senegalese superstar.  Our hip hop hero then does what anyone would do in that situation.  He instructs his bodyguards to bring the boy up onstage, takes off his shirt, hoists the kid over his shoulder, and hurls him into the crowd, to the sound of hyperventilating fans screaming, "We love you!"

Akon, we’ve learned our lesson.  Your stage is like a 20-foot chunk of the Wild West and you’re Jesse James.  There are no rules, and no one is safe.  One wrong move and you’ll be using your super human strength to bust out nasty dances or chuck someone across the country.  So we’ll just stay away and dance awkwardly in the back corner.  Oh, and keep your shirt on. Please?

The Quotable T-Pain

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T-Pain‘s music paints him as something of a player, as he falls in love with strippers and partakes in one-night stands (after buying a girl only one drink!). His home life is actually much different — he’s been married for two years. When asked about how his wife feels about his musical persona, the man sometimes known as Teddy Penderazdoun said this:

"My wife doesn’t mind. All the money goes back to her. And that, she don’t mind at all."

Nice that she can be bought so easily. Love don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that bling. In addition to the divide between his music and his home life, T-Pain also sees a divide between his music and image — he may sound smooth on record, but in reality, he’s chunky. "I’m not trying to be Mr. Six-Pack," he says. And as this recent shot (source) proves…

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…it’s a good thing he’s not. [New York Daily News / Top image credit: Getty]

Rock at the Movies: Idols and Idols

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Kat_mcphee__album_cover – The Dylan biopic I’m Not There — starring Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, Richard Gere and Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan (yes, all of them) — gets the Subterranean Homesick Blues treatment with this movie poster.

- "Idol" may not have wanted her for the finale, but Katharine McPhee is ready for her indie close-up. She’s set to star in The Last Caller, and she’ll play a "self-obsessed woman who searches for love, hope and meaning during a few random events with other urban seekers."

- Who gets the biopic treatment twice over? The Candy Man does. Outkast’s Andre 3000 is slated to star as Sammy Davis, Jr. in Sammy and Kim, while Denzel Washington will star in and direct In Black and White.

Brit’s Battle With Men o’ War

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Britney Spears took some time out over the weekend during her Mexican beach vacation to warn her fellow sunbathers of an epidemic facing them: Portuguese men ‘o war. A source told People that she approached an older couple and said, "Be careful, there are lots of man o’ war jellyfish washing up on shore, you don’t want to get stung." OK, Grandma Spears. Why not go all out and tell them to put on their jackets so as not to catch cold?

The source adds that Britney was "sweet" and seemed "happy and carefree" on the beach. It’s nice to see that she’s bouncing back after hitting rock bottom. It’s amazing what peeing in the ocean can do to lift spirits! [People / Image credit: Getty]