lynne spears

by (@katespencer)

Lynne Bashes Brit’s “Dark Period”

Ohhhh, this one will be a perfect follow up to the Madonna book! Lynne will document the family drama in her new tell-all, titled “Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World.” Aren’t the Spears still IN the storm? A rep for the Christian publishing company releasing the book says, “Lynne begins by telling the story of her own family. She’s going to go into it.” Oh goodie! Perhaps we can make a few requests about the things we want her to get into! [Us]

  • What’s up with Britney’s favored messy bun-ponytail hairdo?
  • Why did Lynne let Brit wear a denim dress that one time?
  • Did K-Fed’s breath smell like pot all the time?
  • Does Brit know her kids’ names?
  • Doesn’t it kinda suck when Britney buys a really expensive Mercedes and then ruins it by spilling Cheetos everywhere?
  • Is there vodka in all those Frappucinos?
  • On a scale of creepy to really motherf*cking creepy, just how creepy was that creep Sam Lutfi? Creep.
  • Which daughter does Lynne like better: Brit or Jamie-Lynn?
  • Seriously, it’s Jamie-Lynn, right?

by (@katespencer)

Britney’s 16-Year Old Sister is Knocked Up!

jamielynn.jpgMerry Christmas, America! Just when you thought you’d be stuck reading about what boring Brad Pitt is getting his kids for Christmas, Jamie-Lynn Spears goes and outdoes her crazy older sister. It’s the best present we’ve ever gotten! More news will surely come in today, but here’s the most recent word on Jamie-Lynn’s sitch:

  • She revealed her pregnancy to her mom a week before Thanksgiving. She freaked for a week and was then supportive. Then, this week, she spilled the beans to OK! Magazine.
  • The father is her 19-year old live-in boyfriend, Casey Aldridge.
  • J-L is planning on raising her kid in Louisiana, “so it can have a normal family life.” Already she is wiser than her big sis.
  • Nickelodeon – which is home to her show Zoey 101 – said, “We respect Jamie Lynn’s decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn’s well being.”
  • Mom Lynne’s upcoming Christian book on parenting is now on hold. Obviously.
  • The best part of all is that BRITNEY DIDN’T KNOW ( and it’s all caught on tape)! It looks like Brit found out when the rest of the world did – last night. When the paps asked her about it while out shopping, she replied, “My sister’s not pregnant!” At least she will make an amazing crazy aunt.

by (@katespencer)

Britney & Lindsay’s Moms Hog the Spotlight

lynne-dina.jpgWanna know why Lindsay and Britney are all sorts of effed up? Look no further than the ladies that popped ‘em out. Dina Lohan and Lynne Spears both seem to prefer spending time focusing the spotlight on themselves than helping their kids. And this is why we LOVE them! Because really, can we ever have too many trashy ladies in our life? Even though Lindsay may be hiding out from the paparazzi for the first time in her life, Dina is busy mom-ing for the cameras for her new – what elsereality show! Dina will surely ruin her younger daughter Ali’s life by forcing her to star in it, but her reasons for the sure-to-be flop are true and genuine. ?There are so many misconceptions about me and my family,? Mama Lohan said. ?I?m setting the record straight.? Roughly translated, she means “Money money money money money fame money I’m jealous of Lindsay money money.”

Meanwhile the woman who soiled the world with her Spears spawn is set to write a tell-all book about her “personal story of raising high-profile children while coming from a low-profile Louisiana community.” Will Lynne detail how she enabled one of them to become a coked up divorcee and mom of two by the age of 25? We can only hope! That’s some seriously high-profile shizz!? [Getty]