MTV VMAs

September 11th, 2007 | 9:45 am by Kate Spencer

Tuesday: Justin’s Dinner Threesome, Jessica Does the Walk of Shame

Brangelina?s Super Spoiled Babies
Little Maddox has started kindergarten at a posh NYC school, where he only speaks French and eats gourmet lunches. Oh la (b)la(gh). [TMZ]

JT Celebrates VMAs with Two Ladies
The award-winning hottie skipped the VMA after parties to dine with his mom and girlfriend Jessica Biel. Sigh. He woulda been a good influence on Britney. [People]

Lindsay Loves Her Dad Again
The pair’s reconciliation continues at her Utah rehab, where they picked roses and hugged for the cameras. Who knew the paparazzi would be a part of the healing? [X17]

Mary-Kate Olsen Grows Up on TV
Check out this video of the twin’s most recent televised role – as a God-loving pothead on the hit show Weeds. Wanna see her smoke joints and make out on camera? You got it dude! [Just Jared]

Jessica: Desperate for More Mayer
The sad divorcee was spotted leaving John Mayer’s apartment building yesterday morning. Her body may not be a wonderland, but it’s good enough for a one night stand. [Gawker]

September 10th, 2007 | 4:41 pm by Kate Spencer

VMAs WTF: Paris Channels Your Grandma

I have a feeling this VMAs hairdo has moved to the top of Paris Hilton‘s ‘Regret List,’ edging out ‘driving drunk’ and ‘all of my sex tapes’ for first place. Somewhere in a nursing home in Ohio, a frail, little grandmother is attempting to dial up Paris. She wants her hair back – and her cheap curlers. Check out more pics of the heiress’ major fashion f*ck up below.

[Images: Getty]

September 10th, 2007 | 3:28 pm by Kate Spencer

Brit’s Excuses: The Dog Ate My Performance

Sure, Britney may have told USA Today that she thought her performance on the VMAs was “good,” but any living creature with eyes who saw the thing knows better - including Brit. Which is why shortly after her crapalicious appearance, the excuses started rolling. Sarah Silverman’s comments upset Brit right before she went on! The heel on her stiletto boot was busted! She fired her hairdresser right before the show started!

We’ve come up with a few more excuse for Brit to use – after all, with a performance that bad, you need someone or something to blame:

I got distracted staring at Paris Hilton’s old lady hairdo!
My bikini was so sparkly that my eyes went all blindy, ya’ll!
I got upset thinking about the vag flash I was about to give the paparazzi two hours after the show!
I thought I was supposed to be doing a number with mirrors and Criss Angel!?

Have any other good excuses that Britney could use? Post ‘em for the starlet below!

[Image: Getty]

September 10th, 2007 | 11:16 am by Rich Juzwiak

VMAs Recap: What Happened in Vegas…

It all started with some ratty extensions…

…and it only got worse from there. Is this the VMAs or a Rob Zombie movie?

Still too hard to tell.

Britney’s trainwreck more or less set the tone for the rest of last night’s show, which was supposed to be a new-and-improved version of the Video Music Awards. Mostly, it just felt schizophrenic, with its performers scattered through a series of “parties” at the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas. Though less ceremonious in general (gone away, for the most part, were performer introductions, thankfully) and about as short as you could possibly expect an awards show to be (just over two hours, double thankfully), this year’s VMAs was a series of quick cuts and excerpted performances. It felt like a parody of MTV and the short-attention-span generation the network supposedly spawned. The awards show is what would happen if ADHD got ADHD. (And what’s worse — they gypped us out of what was undoubtedly the best part of the night: the Kid Rock-Tommy Lee tussle.)

After the jump, we recount some highlights. And by “highlights,” more times than not, we mean “lowlights.”

Britney Spears Goes For the Man Meat

She may have forgotten how to dance and lipsync, but at least Brit’s still good at some of her old tricks. And doesn’t this dude look a tad like JT?

Britney?s Ball Grab!

September 10th, 2007 | 10:07 am by Jim Macnie

Kranky Kanye Says He and MTV Are Kaput

Somewhere between Brit doing those thorazine twirls and her old beau Justin Timberlake moonwalking to close the show, it dawned on Kanye West that he wasn’t part of the VMAs main-stage action. Yep, it’s cool up in the Hugh Hefner Sky Villa, but it ain’t the main stage, y’all. Only one thing to do. Let it be known that he and MTV are parting ways. This, after telling a pre-show gaggle on onlookers that he, not Spears, should have opened the spectacle. (He’s definitely right about that.)

September 9th, 2007 | 11:58 pm by Kate Spencer

Britney Spears Bombs on the VMAs

Apparently after going through one deadbeat husband, two kids, three rehab facilities and a whole lot of shaved hair, our pop princess has completely forgotten what once made her great – a hot bod, bangin’ dance moves, and some serious lip-syncing skills. Britney Spears opened MTV’s Video Music Awards tonight with her new song “Gimme More,” and damn, she was effing horrible. It was as if she went to sleep in a sparkly bikini and hooker boots and only woke up when her assistant shoved her on-stage to do her routine. If Brit’s gonna to pretend to have a comeback, she could have at least chugged a few Red Bulls beforehand. Anything to give her a little energy while she stands around lifeless and forgets the lyrics to her new song. Maybe she should have rehearsed more. We were rooting for Brit, but after this mess we’ll pass the next time she tries to give us more.