Television

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The Rock Life Recap, Episode 5

Tony Potato
Tony Potato, the ?fat guy who dances on a box,? according to Cisco, loses his job. The real job, that is. Apparently Tony?s commitment to the band was overshadowing his ability to practice law. It?s actually something of a blessing though, as now Tony feels he can dedicate himself more fully to the band. This statement is followed by severeal images from Tony?s day, which include (but are not limited to) Tony cooking, golfing, and chasing a ball around the pool. Read more…

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Boys to Men – Mission: Manband Episode 4 Recap

Mission: Man Band
Last night’s Man Band was a cruel exercise in humiliation. When Miss Kate forced the guys to perform at the Orlando Magic half-time show against their will, that was one thing. Everyone was expecting to be booed. And booed they were. But when Miss Kate pointlessly, antagonistically made them listen to radio jocks tear their performance to shreds the following morning, that was something else. And when she made them watch a tape of the show, that was the camel that broke the straw’s back. Read more…

by (@katespencer)

The Weekly Wrap Up: Lindsay’s Lucky, Hayden’s Hot, Flav is Back in Business

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Biz Beat-Boxes for Kids

Biz Markie!Few hip-hop artists do the human beat-box thing as well as Biz Markie. So consider it a boon for edutainment that the crazed old school MC was one of the artists who helped kick-off the new preschoolers show Yo Gabba Gabba! The Nick Jr. program has a decidedly hip slant. The Shins, Elijah Wood, Tony Hawk, Sean Kingston, and Rahzel all crop up on the first few episodes. Have a look at the Biz in action below, and take some time out of your day to enjoy his “Just a Friend” video over here.


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by (@katespencer)

Paris Latches onto Entourage Star

adrien082107.jpgAdrien Grenier seems like an all around good guy. Sure he plays a Hollywood playboy on Entourage, but off screen all signs point to him being cool, down to earth and obviously pretty hot. He even gets bonus points for making a documentary about meeting his dad for the first time – cuz every lady loves a tearjerker. So why then is this environmentalist spending soooo much time with the unnatural disaster that is Paris Hilton? For someone who so far has only made pretty awesome life choices, it seems like bad judgment is finally plaguing the guy. The two have been spotted hanging out together 24/7 in Malibu, and he’s apparently covering her in some documentary he’s making. You know what that means – these two are totally, definitely, maybe, kind of getting it on. [TMZ, NY Daily News. Image: Getty]

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Jesse Desperate To Sing?

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UK’s Now magazine is reporting that Jesse Metcalfe is set to make beautiful music by reinventing himself as a singer. He does, after all know how to handle a guitar. The rag quotes Jesse as saying:

People are going to be shocked by my first album. It’s going to reveal my unseen mature side and I’ve even co-written some of the songs…I think I could be the next James Blunt.

The “unseen mature side” bit proves that this is either fabricated (who says that about himself?!?) or that Jesse’s subscribing to his own hype (a douche says that about himself, that’s who). The “next James Blunt” thing adds to the douchieness — he knows he’s the next Clay Aiken, he’s just too shy to say it. [Now]

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The Rock Life Recap: Episode 3

Rainbow Jeramy

The boys hit the road, with the express purpose of geting Tony Potato laid. Which shouldn’t be a problem, given that Whitestarr has “girls galore.” Post-show, Cisco describes Mr. Potato as “a dancer, a lawyer, an overall renaissance man, but he cannot follow through on anything.” A heart-to-heart ensues after a crestfallen Tony leaves the backstage area to take a leak, and Cisco follows him into the bathroom. Apparently Tony’s trouble isn’t the fact that he’s overweight, balding and in a struggling band (what girl wouldn’t want that!?!), but that he has no follow through.

The band embark on a tour, playing 28 shows in 30 days to bring the music to the people. Cisco doesn’t seem to think of what he does as “touring and playing music” so much as pirating: “taking what we need and leaving some scurvy…new town every night, new girl every night.” This proves more difficult for Tony. In one particularly painful scene, Tony has one unsuspecting female in a half nelson, and as she cackles on his lap she says, “I don’t do dancers. I only do rock stars.” Wrong bus, sister.

Read more…

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Patton Oswalt: Religious Flav Of Love?

Flavor Flav

Stopped on the red carpet for Sunday night’s Roast of Flavor Flav on Comedy Central, professional wiseacre and rat-voice star Patton Oswalt wondered what would happen if the Catholic church got all hooked-up in a reality show.

Our coverage of the event gave you a taste of what to expect, but if your life is built around curse-riddled zingers, you’ll want to spend a few seconds with the show’s trailer. Hey, Brigitte Nielsen’s not really a man, is she?

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