On this Dead of the Dead there seems to be a pop music zombie who has just arisen. According to WWW.ASHLEESIMPSONMUSIC.COM (as opposed to Ashlee SimpsonActress.com or Ashlee SimpsonJessica Simpson‘sSister.com), our girl is back with new music in T MINUS 20 DAYS and continually counting down. The official drop date for this new single and its accompanying video? November 21st.
Okay, okay. She’s only confirmed that she’s knocked up, but we think Ashlee Simpson should also acknowledge that her red mop is f*cked up! Look at that thing! Back to baby: They’re expecting. No sh*t! Mr. and Mrs. Wentz took to Petey’s website to write the following:
“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.”
Blah blah blah. Let’s hope this means that these two get sucked into parenthood and never emerge again with a new album or video about eyeliner instruction. Pretty please?? [DListed]
There, there, Jeff Archuleta. Feeling upset about your son David coming in second on American Idol? You’re not alone. Tons of celebrity stage parents feel shame when their child fails to live up to the exceedingly high expectations they’ve set for them! You’re in good company. The VH1 Blog has rounded up six of our favorite celebrity stage parents, who prove time and time again that even if you can’t make it in showbiz, you sure as hell can force your kids to live your childhood dreams! Success never tasted so sweet.
1. Dina Lohan - Why not ruin one daughter when you can ruin two?! This week Lindsay‘s running around France forgetting what she learned in rehab, while Dina focuses on destroying Ali‘s youth with her new reality TV show. Both are clearly idiotic career movies for the girls. But you know what they say, mother knows best!
Holy sh*t! The first picture from Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz’s wedding has been revealed and IT. IS. BORING. Sure they may have had 10,000 black roses and crystal chandeliers, but did they have to keep their weird, matching comb-over hipster hairdos? Honestly, Wentz’s dog looked the hottest. As for the pic of Jessica grinding her butt all over her ex Tony Romo?? We’ve seen it all before. That girl does desperation better than she does music. Work it!? [People]
Here comes the bride, blah blah blah blahhhh. Shocker of the century! Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are now husband and wife, and sealed the deal in a backyard ceremony at her parents’ house on Saturday. You think Ash might have learned from her big sister’s early
mistake marriage to Nick Lachey (which ended in divorce) but instead she asked Jess to be her maid of honor. Ash wore Monique Lhuillier, Jess was decked in Vera Wang, and guest Nicole Richie showed up in a stunning a purple gown. Pretty! The guests were asked to wear dark colors to match the theme of the wedding, which was Alice in Wonderland. Ashlee also announced to her guests that she was four months pregnant, to which the 150 people replied, “No sh*t!”
The best part of the wedding weekend was not the nuptials, but that Papa Joe Simpson – who officiated the wedding – begged Tony Romo to attend the wedding as Jessica’s date, even though he allegedly dumped her last week. The good guy footballer escorted his ex, and served as a wonderful reminder that if Ash and Pete’s marriage ends in the D word, things can only get worse. The lesson of the day? Love stinks. But seriously, congrats guys! [US]
Ashlee and Pete have sent out Evites inviting people to their top secret wedding. Did you check your email yet to see if you got one? Yep, the thing is so hush-hush, they not only invited people by the most traceable way possible, they then begged the tabloids to bid on the right to cover the nuptials. Allegedly they stand to earn a seven-figure sum for allowing the entire world to watch their most precious moment. Barf. Some other deets we learned today about the Simpson/Wentz shotgun wedding: Ash is wearing Vera Wang, no cameras are allowed, Jess is holding the rehearsal dinner at her house AND Ashlee is allegedly super clingy, which her man loves. They truly are a perfect pair. They’d be even more perfect if they’d stop forcing their love down our throats. [NYDN]
- Eye liner? Check.
- Hair straightener? Check.
- White Doc Martens? Check.
- Black skinny tux with skinny tie? Check.
- Loony divorced big sister/maid of honor/drunkest person at the reception? CHECK!
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are getting married this weekend, and no one cares! The pair are going to great lengths to keep the affair “top secret,” but they could get married in my apartment and I wouldn’t freak out and go. Their lovey-dovey emo shtick is getting very, very old, so we wish them the best in their marriage, which will hopefully be way more successful than Ashlee’s music career. [Us]
You know how you know when someone is pregnant? When they tell you (or ya know, when they pop a baby out after nine months). But of course the NY Daily News can’t stop speculating about what’s going on in Ashlee Simpson‘s still-flat belly, so they’ve moved north to her breasts. “Possibly pregnant Ashlee Simpson did little to squash baby rumors when she recently flaunted a chest that could rival her big sis Jessica’s,” the rag gushed today.
Her rep chalked it up to a “great bra,” but we chalk it up to serious desperation on behalf of the newspaper. Next time do a little research – her boobs looked bigger in 2007! [Sidenote: Ash is rumored to be getting married to Pete Wentz next week - we can't wait to analyze her wedding dress breasts.]
Blergh. Clearly, we’re going to have to sit through months of Ashlee Simpson awkwardly dancing around the baby issue with vague comments about the status of her uterus. On the Today Show this morning, the singer told Matt Lauer that “only time will tell” if she’s pregnant and that she’s “giving birth” to her album, Bittersweet World. Clearly Papa Simpson has coached Ashlee on the whole “baby buzz means album buzz” thing, because no one was paying attention to what Ashlee was putting out before her baby belly came into question. And while we’re being cranky we want to point out that giant, 100 carat engagement rings don’t exist in a bittersweet world. How about changing the album title to something like Really Effing Lucky? Harumph!
The Ashlee pregnancy buzz isn’t shutting up, and the pop star hasn’t been much help in stopping it, either. Her future hubby called the rumors a “witch hunt” earlier in the week, and Ash addressed the drama during her appearance on MTV’s TRL, giving the world’s most vague statement ever.? “I just think it’s an inappropriate question to ask any woman,” the singer told MTV News. “For me, that’s something that I didn’t ever want to respond to, because I think it’s an inappropriate question. Some things, you want to keep personal, and I think that when people deny [reports that they're pregnant], it’s probably because it’s something they want to keep personal.”
Ummmm, so basically, she’s pregnant? Even though she’s not offering any concrete info, People magazine joined the ranks of tabloids (including Us and OK!) who have “confirmed” Ash’s pregnancy with an anonymous source. They even go so far as to allege that she and Pete will be married in May at a friend’s house in La Jolla, Cali. So here’s a congratulations to the happy couple – for whatever happens to be true!