by (@katespencer)

Celebrity Body Disasters: Time to Shape Up!

jenniferlove.jpgBoth Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Love Hewitt are steaming mad over some recent accusations thrown their way about their less-than-perfect body parts. After pics of J Love in a bikini hit the blogosphere, she took to her blog to tell all the anonymous posters hurling insults at her (and her butt) to eff off. ScarJo is also pissed and preaching, and has issued a statement threatening to sue Us Weekly after they accused her of getting a nose job.

These stars may think that these are minor body infractions, but let’s be honest, lots of celebrities have let themselves go these days. How dare they have regular sized butts or average noses?! Their determination to be just like everyone else is a travesty. Below the jump we lay down the law with some other celebs who need to hit the gym and hop under the knife. If we’re gonna pay $12 to see some star in a movie, we demand airbrushed perfection! ScarJo and Jennifer couldn’t cut it, but there’s gotta be some hope for other celebs. Fix that sh*t!

Read more…

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Seal Has a Big Penis

heidi_klum_seal.jpg

Heidi Klum got to see what she’d be working with right up front, when she first met her hubbylover Seal. On Thursday’s already-filed episode of Oprah, Heidi details her first encounter with the scarred singer:

I met him in a hotel lobby in New York City and he came in just from the gym and I was sitting there and I was, like, wow.

Why “wow”? For you see, Seal was wearing spandex shorts. “And I pretty much saw everything,” says Heidi. “The whole package.”

Suddenly their relationship makes so much more sense. I mean, you don’t really think she fell for him because of his face, do you? [People.com / Image credit: Getty]

by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Nicole Kidman’s Pricey Flop

nicolekidman1024.jpgHeidi Klum and Seal: Singing Together?
Just what we never wanted to see – Heidi Klum singing with her hubby. Next up: Seal aufs a bunch of designers. [Us]

Nicole Kidman?s Career in the Toilet?
With a bunch of bad films under her belt and her new fantasy flick (that cost $175 million to make) already getting trashed in the press, it might be time for Nicole to stop botoxing her face and stick a little juice in her career. [NYP]

Brit Leaves Back Up Dancers Unpaid
Big surprise – Britney still owes her VMA dancers some cash for their work. Starbucks is expensive ya’ll! [Us]

Baby Shiloh Travels in Style
Shiloh’s spoiled and has already seen more of the world in 17 months than we’ll see in our lifetimes. But at least our parents let us eat sugar cereals! [Ok]

The Many Faces of Lindsay?s New Man
Isn’t it cute how Riley Giles looks totally hot in every one of his four mugshots?! Zexy! [TMZ]