by (@katespencer)

Jen Finds Mayer Love Letters From Jessica

Jen Aniston should know that snooping through your boyfriend’s sh*t is always going to lead to discovering something you don’t want to see – naked pics, a dream journal – so why is she digging around John Mayer‘s guitar case? Jen supposedly came upon a bunch of love letters written to the rocker from ex-flame Jessica Simpson, and she was reportedly “hurt.” Yeah, our eyes would hurt to having to look her chicken scratch. A source – probably Papa Joe Simpson – said the letters were “very touching and well written,” forgetting to add “for an idiot.” [NYP]

by (@katespencer)

Pam Attack: Simpson is a “Bitch & Whore”

Hurray! The greatest celebrity feud has just begun. Animal-lover Pam Anderson labeled Jessica Simpson a “bitch and whore” in an interview, after the singer was spotted wearing a t-shirt that read “Real Girls Eat Meat.” Yup, it’s pot and kettle time! She went on to say, “Actually, I don’t know if she was talking about food or men.” Dissed!

Pam Anderson is a vegetarian, among other things, but still we’ve gotta call bullsh*t on her for a couple of reasons.

1. She may not eat meat, but she wears it. While she renounced Uggs in 2007, she stuck her feet deep into those sheepskin boots for years. And seriously, if you can’t figure out those are made of animal fur and skin, then should you really be talking?

2. Google “Pam Anderson sex tape” and you get 1,750,000 results. So really, Pam, who you callin’ a whore?

[The Sun]

by (@katespencer)

Jessica Simpson Goes Country

jessica-simpson-country.jpgAshlee‘s big sis has dropped her first single off her brand spankin’ new country album, and boy does it suck ya’ll! At least our little divorcee has learned a valuable less – if at first you don’t succeed, just try a different musical genre. But never fear, dear Jessica Simpson fans! If the song and subsequent country album both flop, she’ll have Tony Romo’s beefy arms to run into. The football star has taken his lady back under one condition – her dad stays out of the picture and stops messing with their relationship. Sadly, her career is another story.

Give Jessica’s new single – titled “Come On Over” – a listen and tell us what you think. Good, bad or ugly?

by (@katespencer)

Tony Romo Mocks Jessica’s Sex Skills

jessica_simpson.jpg

Ugh. Maybe this is why Carrie Underwood wanted nothing to do with Tony Romo. The football star was reportedly busy mocking Jessica Simpson‘s bedroom skills to all his friends on the same weekend that he was telling everyone the Texas twosome was dunzo. A Windy City spy reported exclusively to The Superficial that, “Tony Romo was in town, and he was bar hopping with some buddies of his from Chicago. He had the nerve to put Jessica on speakerphone and talk about their sex life with all his guys listening and laughing at her. Not only is this girl dumb, but she is completely self conscious about her bedroom skills. After a few too many drinks, he told everyone he and Jessica are over.”

Gross gross gross. Is respecting women that hard for guys these days? As crazy as Tom Cruise is, at least he’s pretty good at treating his wife right (when not dragging her around by the arm).

by (@katespencer)

Jessica Does Have Fans – in the Ukraine

jessicasimpsonukraine.jpgCongrats are in order to Jessica Simpson! Her movie, Blonde Ambition, which was a total bomb in the US, is the number one movie in the Ukraine this week! The budget flick (which also stars Luke Wilson in the biggest career mistake of his life) opened only in texas theaters and grossed just $1,771 it’s debut weekend. But clearly we Americans don’t know a good film when we see one. Over in the Ukraine, the movie managed to rake in a whopping $253,008 last weekend. Now keep in mind Spider-Man 3 raked in $151,116,516 it’s opening weekend, but whose counting?! What could possibly explain the popularity of this admittedly crappy flick? An expert throws down some knowledge: “The former Soviet nations have a sweet tooth for straight-up comedies,” Conor Bresnan, editor in chief of Box Office Mojo International, reveals.”When these comedies have big name celebrities like Jessica Simpson’s, that’s all that’s needed to sell the movie. Russian and Ukrainian audiences have an even bigger urge for escapism than Americans.”

Jessica Simpson – and her papa – thank you, people of the Ukraine. Now she can afford that Louis Vuitton carrying case for her dog. [People]

by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Gwen’s Back for Baby #2

gwen-stefani.jpgTony Romo Woos Jessica with a Song
She may not suck at football, but at least they can both suck at singing together. Now that’s what we call soulmates. [Us]

J. Lo?s Babies Get Normal-ish Names
Emme and Max Lopez-Anthony, meet your new family, the paparazzi! [Star]

Gwen?s Baby Belly Back in Business
Gav and Gwen are adding to their clan. If it’s a girl, do you think they’ll call her Queenston? [Star]

Britney Numbs Pain with New Car
There’s no problem a $55,000 Mercedes (paid for in cash, obvs) can’t fix. Bi-polar disorder be damned! [TMZ]

Lindsay Lohan Loyal to Vodka
LL stands for Lindsay Lohan and Leggings n’ Liquor. [NYDN]

by (@katespencer)

Friday: Family Bids Heath Farewell

heathledger.jpgJessica Balks at Break Up Rumors
Simpson is suing the mag that claimed Tony Romo is desperate to dump her, which only makes her seem that much more annoying. [TMZ]

Brit?s Bud Sam Lufti Grilled in Deposition
K-Fed’s lawyers went after Brit’s sidekick Sam, attempting to discover what Britney drinks, thinks and does all day long. Try: vodka, little and nothing.? [TMZ]

Angelina Knocked Up with Twins?
Brangelina is well on their way to creating their own country of adorable, well-dressed kids.? [Star]

Ledger Family?s Last Messages to Heath
The Aussie fam left their son/brother heartbreaking messages in their local Aussie paper. Read them and weep.? [Us]

Heidi & Spencer: Paid for Paparazzi Shots?
The most hated couple from The Hills has a not-so-secret deal with a photo agency that pays them cash for all those posed shots.? [Jossip]

by (@katespencer)

John Mayer to Texas: Don’t Mess with Jess

jess-john.jpgIs it possible that John Mayer is actually not just a cool guy, but an even cooler ex-boyfriend? The cocky rocker posted a Jessica Simpson-defending manifesto on his blog, after the entire state of Texas and every member of Cowboy-nation blamed her for their team’s recent football failures (funny how no one actually blames the stupid dude who lost the game). The only problem with John’s sweet words is that they’re probably gonna make Jess (and her dad) fall back in love with John all over again. Now that would really punish Tony Romo for ruining the lives of millions of Texans. John blogged:

Dear Dallas and Surrounding Areas,

This isn’t a sports blog, and it isn’t a publicity stunt. (but have at me if it feels right.) This is about doing what I think is right as a person, in this case speaking my mind. I have never known anyone to have more pride in their home state and their upbringing in it than Jessica Simpson has in Texas. I don’t really follow sports, but I have played some of my biggest and best concerts in your state, and having witnessed how dynamic the spirit there is, I’m betting emotions are running high right about now. All witty barbs, blogs, and fashion policing aside, that girl loves Texas more than you know. It’s one of her most defining traits as a person. So please don’t try and take that away from her. (You probably wouldn’t be able to, but it’s less work for all involved.)

I just thought it would mean something coming from the guy who has the absolute least to gain from this. And if I’m out of line in having written it, too bad. I can spare a Wednesday’s worth of bad press if it means sticking up for a good soul.

by (@katespencer)

Monday: Kim Kardashian Kicks Butt

kim-kardashian.jpgBjork Beats Down Photog
The singer tore off a pap’s shirt after he snapped her pic down under. That seems more sexy than threatening.? [TMZ]

Britney: Shops in her Wedding Dress
Honestly, do expect anything less than Britney shopping for Mercedes with her boyrazzi in the wedding dress she wore when marrying K-Fed?? Crazy is as crazy does.? [People]

Kim Kardashian Defends her Man
While clubbing in LA, Kim kicked out the dude who apparently bribed her NFL star boyfriend with money while he was in college. Dashie don’t play that.? [NYDN]

The Golden Globes Happened – Did You Notice?
Atonement wins for best pic, and everyone goes home bored.? [EOnline]

Eva’s Got Jessica Simpson’s Back
The actress stands up for her pal after fans start blaming the Cowboys’ playoff loss on Jessica. We like to blame Jess for everything – global warming is totally her fault!? [People]

by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Jamie-Lynn Smartens Up

jamielynnespears-010808.jpgNicole Kidman: Officially Knocked Up
Nic and hubby Keith Urban are expecting their first baby – and we’re pretty sure it’s not L. Ron Hubbard‘s demon child. Congrats!? [People]

Jamie Lynn Spears Goes Back to School
Brit’s little sis is hard at work in her hometown getting her GED before her baby’s born. She’s such a good role model for her older sister.? [People]

Jessica Simpson Avoids Her Ex
The singer skipped out on a vaca with her little sis in Costa Rica after she learned her ex-hubby Nick Lachey (and his girlfriend Vanessa Minillo) were holed up at the resort next door.? [NYP]

Golden Globes Get Axed
Sorry kids! No watching celebs sit around getting hammered in $5000 dresses (and winning things) this year.? [Us]

Dr. Phil Won?t Shut Up About Britney
If we may echo our pal Chris Crocker, leave Britney alone!? [Us]