by (@katespencer)

Thursday: Paris Loves Her Mother Earth

paris-121307.jpgParis Hilton Saves the Planet
The heiress is helping the earth by buying a hybrid car. Maybe she could stop polluting it with her skanky outfits and cheap perfume, too. [Yahoo]

The Hills Girls Get Boozy
Vogue intern Lauren Conrad got a little too buzzed at The Hills finale party. Is it because the word is out that her Parisian love interest may be a plant? [NYP]

Reese Witherspoon’s a Bossy Co-Star
The actress is letting her Type A attitude flow on the set of her new movie with mellow dude Vince Vaughn. Somewhere her ex-husband is laughing. [NYDN]

Britney’s a Bad Boss
Brit got busted by paps who got her on video showing driving away from a gas station and leaving her assistant behind. [TMZ]

Charlie Sheen’s Psycho About Decorating
We love this picture of Charlie Sheen’s mansion decked out in X-Mas lights almost as much as we love his scandalous past. There’s gotta be something x-rated going on in that wholesome looking house!

by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Jessica Wants Us to Like Her

jessica-simpson-1114.jpgJessica Simpson?s Fake Boyfriends
Apparently her dad is responsible for planting items about Jess and Owen Wilson to help promote her image and album. Cuz everyone loves a girl who dates a charity case! [MSNBC]

Jon Bon Jovi for Governor of Jersey?
The rocker is ready to give politics a bad name. As in Governor Bon Jovi. [NYP]

Pics Prove Jake & Reese?s Love
Sure they’re boring, but they’re also kind of perfect together in that ‘sometimes it’s fun to watch paint dry’ sort of way. [Us]

Angelina Jolie the Journalist
The actress is penning a piece for The Economist, which we hope is about how making babies with Brad Pitt will change the world. [Us]

Britney Heads Back to Court
Here’s a tip Brit – have one of your babies drive and you won’t end up back in court every couple of days. [TMZ]

by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Lindsay Lends a Hand

lindsaylohan-1113.jpgPhotog Chasing Britney Hit By Car
A “spotter” who was following the pop star to the Four Seasons was hit by another paparazzo’s car and seriously injured. Welcome to the painful world of Brit Watch. [TMZ]

Lindsay Does Time at Red Cross
LiLo has started her community service working at the organization’s blood services facility. Wouldn’t it be more helpful if she just hid out for ten days? [People]

T.I. Convinced He?ll Go Free
The rapper is convinced he’ll be “exonerated” of the charges against him. That’s the spirit! [Yahoo]

Posh Ready to Pop Out Baby #4?
The Spice Mom is rumored to be pregnant with a daughter who she can prompty ruin with bad outfits and poor eating habits. [OK]

Reese & Jake Sneak Off on Vacation
The new lovers headed to Napa for some private R&R. Someone should tell them that they can cuddle all they want in LA – no one cares! [OK]

by (@katespencer)

Friday: Colbert Canned in Carolina

colbert-1102.jpgColbert Can?t Run for Prez
The South Carolina democrats won’t let the state’s “favorite son” on the presidential ballot. We smell a write in! [DListed]

Eminem Busy with New Babe
So this is what the rapper’s been up to for the past few year’s – getting laid. [NYP]

Britney?s Ex-Manager Sues the Star
Who hasn’t Britney screwed over in the past couple of years? At least she already knows her way around the courthouse. [Us]

Jake and Reese Heat up Halloween
The actor took Reese’s two kids trick-or-treating dressed as a gorilla. It really is love, after all! [Us]

Arrest Expected at Oprah?s School
Let this be a lesson for her school’s students – and the world. Nobody messes with Oprah, b*tches. Nobody! [People]

by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Ashley Olsen Makes Out with Lance Armstrong

ashley-olsen-1031.jpgTomKat Ready to Give Suri a Sibling
- Or Katie just needs another friend to hang out with since her old ones are probably banned from their house now. [OK!]

Ashley Olsen Kisses Lance Armstrong
He may not be old enough to be her dad, but he’s tall enough to be her…climbing tree? Is that really sexy? [NYP]

J Lo?s New Flick Gets Panned
Everything Jennifer Lopez does these days is getting booed. She should just tell us that she’s pregnant so we can like something she’s created. [NYP]

Britney Refuses to Promote Album
Brit’s too lazy/crazy/tired/drunk/hungry/cold/spacey/stupid to promote her new album, and her label’s given up on trying to make her work. Psssst – tempt her with Taco Bell. [NYDN]

Reese and Jake?s Love: Real or Fake?
Check out this video of the pair cuddling on the beach and feeding each other. Who does that? People faking a relationship to create buzz for their failing film, perhaps? [TMZ]

by (@katespencer)

Monday: Oprah Sorry About Sex Scandal

oprah-winfrey_1029.jpgOprah Apologizes for School Scandal
The media queen feels so awful about the abuse scandal at her South African school that she’s given students her personal phone, email and mailing addresses. Score! [NYDN]

Paris: Skanky & Scary for Halloween
Paris flaunts her ass cheeks for a costume party. It’s the scariest sight of the night! [DListed]

Video: Britney Mobbed at Courthouse
The sketchy starlet gets swarmed as she leaves her custody hearing. We can’t help but feel that she kinda deserves it. [x17]

Jake & Reese: Costumed Cuteness
We admit it – they’re a cute couple, especially when we can’t see their oh-so-perfect faces. [DListed]

Ellen?s Dog Drama Gets Stupid
Do we really give a s**t about Ellen’s dog bowls? Someone put this story to sleep. [NYP]

by (@katespencer)

Thursday: Rihanna Wants to Party

rihanna1011.jpgRihanna Hunts for NYC Hot Spot
The singer was spotted asking around for a good club to go to in the Big Apple. How about just going to bed – aren’t you only 18, RiRi? [NYP]

Angelina Still Has No Love for Dad
Despite rumors of a reunion, Angie’s rep confirms that the estranged father-daughter pair are not in contact.? [Us Weekly]

Nicole Fills Out Old Bikini
Hilariously, Nicole is wearing the same bikini as when she weighed ninety pounds, but now it actually fits. Isn’t weight gain magical?![TMZ]

Reese Is Finally Free of Ryan
The once-perfect pair have officially split. Snooze. Even their divorce was dull and boring. [IDLYITW]

Lost Star Gets Six Month Jail Term
Michelle Rodriguez must six months in jail for violating her probation. She deserves it for shooting Sayid’s girlfriend! [Yahoo! News]

by (@katespencer)

Friday: Nicole Bosses Her Man Around; Amy Winehouse Gets Healthy

nicole0817071.jpgBrit and Criss Angel Plot VMA Spot
The singer’s VMA performance is reportedly confirmed, and she’s brought Criss Angel in to help plan her gig. He can get on stage and distract the crowd with card tricks while Brit bombs. [X17]

Nicole?s Got Joel Whipped
Joel had to turn down a photo with a lady fan after Nicole gave him strict instructions to avoid any situation that may get rumors started. Let’s star a rumor about Nicole being controlling instead! [NY Post]

Reece and Ryan?s Secret Dates
The estranged couple have apparently been going on dates to try to rekindle their romance. Nothing like a little divorce to spice things up! [E Online]

Read more…

by (@katespencer)

Monday: Eddie Murphy’s a Defensive Dad; Britney and Boys Share Dinner, Smiles

eddie0806087.jpgEddie Says He?s Supporting His Baby
The actor’s rep has released a statement claiming that he is paying child support for his baby daughter Angel, who Murphy still says was unplanned. [People]

Madonna: Malawi Adoption Hits Snag
Her adopted baby David is still not technically her son, as red tape continues to prevent Malawian officials from signing off on the adoption. [E Online]

Reese and Ryan Rekindle Romance?
The recent exes may be attempting to make their marriage work, as the pair have been spotted exercising and lunching together. Do it for the kids! [NY Post]
Read more…