Ah, Aspen. While not exactly known as a music mecca, it is by all accounts a place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano! (Clearly, we’ve watched Dumb & Dumber one too many times.) It was also where J. Lo, Steven Tyler, Randy and Ryan Seacrest hunkered down to try out contestants on this week’s episode of American Idol.
We don’t know if it was a result of the altitude or what, but something in the mountain air inspired Steven this week. He was able to avoid falling prey to the charms of 19-year-old nose-ring enthusiast Tealana Hedgespeth (“I’m more of the outgoing person, I’m more of the person who would go up to you and be like, ‘Hey, i like your shirt’”), but our bescarfed host planted a giant smacker right on the lips of 24-year-old music teacher Jenny Schick right at the top of this week’s episode, scoring a perfect 5 out of 5 on the Dude Is Acting Shady Meter. We’ll cover this, as well as Tyler’s other flirtations, below:
WHO: Jenni Schick SET-UP: Jenni started off reminding us a bit of Week One contestant Erika Nowak, confessing that she’s got a hankerin’ for reality singing competition judges like Steven Tyler and The Voice‘s Adam Levine. However, her performance of Pat Benatar’s “Heartbreaker” got Steven all hot and bothered, resulting in him clutching her face with his grubby fingers and kissing her mouth. (Can we talk about that kissing technique for a second? Face touching is one thing, but outright face grabbing? WEIRDZIES.) TYLER’S COMMENTS: “Holy shick! You better be able to sing, good girl … Whoa, I’m gonna get in trouble for that.” DUDE IS ACTING SHADY METER SCORE: 5/5 – EWWWWWWWWW!
Seemingly everywhere you turn your head these days, Steven Tyler is standing there. Leno on Friday night? Check. American Idol on Fox? Check. On the victory podium with AFC champions the New England Patriots? Check. Wait, what???
Yes, that’s right, the Aerosmith lead singer is buddy buddy with billionaire businessman and owner of the NFL’s New England Patriots franchise, Robert Kraft. He brought some good luck to his hometown team by singing the National Anthem at yesterday’s AFC Championship game, a performance that his Idol co-hort Randy Jackson would describe as “pitchy.” Depending on how many cups of CLAM CHOWDA you ingested yesterday afternoon, you’ll either love it or hate it.
Oh, and after the seventeen hours of football that was on yesterday (only a slight exaggeration), there was a new episode of American Idol on, too. We don’t know what’s going on with the water in San Diego, but Tyler didn’t score very high on our new Dude Is Acting Shady Meter (which now come complete with an ACTUAL meter, designed by our own Lauren Deiman). He didn’t so much as bat an eyelash with Jim Carrey‘s 24 year-old daughter, Jane, but he did turn on the charm a smidge for two of yesterday’s female contestants.
American Idol judges Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson teamed up with Joe Perry on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno to give a super fun performance of Aerosmith‘s “Chip Away The Stone.” With a full band, the veterans we’re lively and animated, for what was a joy filled performance. The guys had great chemistry together on stage, and proved that age ain’t nothing but a number when it comes to rocking out.
Ten years ago, a veteran British entertainment mogul named Simon Fuller had the very bright idea to adapt his smash hit UK television show Pop Idol for an American audience. The result was a program called American Idol, and its impact on the television landscape (as well as our culture-at-large) cannot be underestimated. It has spawned dozens of imitators, and withstood all challenges to remain the highest rated show on American television (not counting the NFL, natch).
At this time last year, the departure of Simon Cowell and the failed run of Ellen Degeneres had many industry observers prophesying that the show was dead in the water. However, in a semi-remarkable twist, the show actually gained new life thanks to the star power of Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler. Speaking of the latter, the Aerosmith lead singer brought something to the show that it had been lacking since Day One: A whiff of sex. Despite the fact that the 63-year-old Tyler is old enough to be the grandfather of most of the contestants, his naturally libidinous and undeniably charismatic persona added an exciting new element to the program.
Oh, and did we mention that Steven Tyler just might be the most lovable creep on television? His entendre-laden, heavily sexual metaphors arguably provide just as much entertainment to viewers at home as the actual performances themselves. Which is why we here at VH1 Tuner are excited to debut the Dude Is Acting Shady Meter*, which will keep track of Tyler’s come-ons and rank them on a scale of 1-5, one that ranges from Innocently Innocuous to EWWWWWWWW!. So, without further ado, let’s get into last night’s Season 11 premiere of American Idol.
WHO: Shannon Magraine SET-UP: When this six-foot tall 15-year-old was accompanied by her twenty-nine female siblings (only a slight exaggeration), her striking mom and her ex-MLB pitcher father (!) in the judge’s lair, Tyler’s boner just about knocked over the judge’s table. TYLER’S COMMENTS: “Hot, humid and happenin’ … just like your daughter.” DUDE IS ACTING SHADY METER SCORE: 5/5 – EWWWWWWWWW!
Both People and Rolling Stone have feature interviews with Aerosmith frontman and American Idol judge Steven Tyler this week, in which he opens up about his drug relapse during recording sessions for what would have been a new Aerosmith record, and the joy of his drug-free last eighteen months.
The characteristically outspoken Tyler told Rolling Stone he was useless in the studio: “I couldn’t sing, really, because I was snorting everything, and it f**ks up your throat.” But even while speaking to People in drug slang, he’s happy to be successfully rehabilitated: “If you think going out in front of high-def cameras and millions of people I’m not high on adrenaline, you’re crazy.”
Meanwhile, in a NY Times Home and Garden profile of his Hollywood Hills home, Moby spends little time on the physical details of his “castle,” instead speaking extensively?and quite frankly?about his struggles with alcohol abuse. (“For a good 15 years in New York,” he tells the Times, “I was sort of tragically notorious for always being the last person to leave the bar.”) He wryly likens his East Coast self to Charles Foster Kane and psychoanalyzes himself on the record as a way of explaining a loneliness that he tried to escape with alcohol, promiscuity, dance music, and money.
But with the help of sobriety (and his West Coast relocation), Moby has aimed to conquer his existential malaise by facing it head on?not least artistically, with Destroyed, a new album that he describes as “broken-down electronic music for empty cities at 2 a.m.” Destroyed is due out May 17.
Following last May’s update to their list of the “500 Greatest Songs of All Time,” Rolling Stone will be issuing an update to the “100 Greatest Artists of All Time,” originally published in two parts in separate issues of the magazine in 2004 and 2005.