by Kate Spencer

Monday: Ellen’s History of Homeless Dogs

ellen1022.jpgJ. Lo?s Hubby: Singing About Baby?
Marc Anthony belted out Journey’s love song “Faithfully” at a recent show and dedicated it to his wife. Either he wants us to know she’s knocked up, or he just loves really bad 80′s jams. [Us]

Britney Gets Her Babies Back
The singer had her visitation rights with her kids reinstated, which means they’ll probably be taken away in a couple of hours. [TMZ]

Is Ellen a Chronic Dog Ditcher?
A producer has come forward to reveal that the talk show host adopted, and then re-gifted, her pup a few years back. The plot of Puppy-gate thickens! [NYP]

Kim Kardashian Claims to be Tame
The big-bootied nobody says she’s not a party girl – she just poses as one in Playboy. [Us]

Brangelina Mix Business with Pleasure
The perfect pair are producing a new HBO show together about aid workers saving the world. We wanted sex tapes! [People]

by Kate Spencer

OMG! J. Lo is Just Like Every Other Woman!

jlous.jpgHoly crap everyone! Jennifer Lopez can have BABIES! Maybe even – get this – TWO of them! We are FREAKING OUT! I mean seriously, can you imagine – a woman having a baby!? Much less, a super famous woman who makes bad movies and sing mediocre songs that are fun to dance to after two mojitos! Here we were thinking all Jennifer Lopez could do was look hot in revealing Versace dresses and ruin Ben Affleck‘s career. But we were wrong. Dead wrong. She can – gasp! – reproduce. Who cares if millions of other women do this every year. This is J. effing LO we are talking about! We should get a day off from work when her child (children?) is born! Let’s face it – we will be too in awe to even look at the computer screen. Most of all, we can’t wait to hear how she accomplished this amazing feat. We hope that her husband Marc Anthony had something to do with it! Whee! [Us Weekly]

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by Kate Spencer

Monday: J. Lo Dressing Like a Mom-to-Be

jenniferlopez1001.jpgBritney Spears? Sassy New Song
Brit lets it all hang out in her latest leaked single. We mean the mental stuff, not her boobs (amazingly). [Just Jared]

Kate Hudson Dumps No Name Beau
Poor Dax Shephard – those fifteen minutes are long gone now that Kate has jumped ship. At least she did the right thing and had a pal dump him for her. What manners! [OK!]

Jennifer Lopez Rockin? Maternity Outfits?
Er, Jenny and her hubby Marc Anthony are claiming that the diva’s not knocked up, but what other excuse is there for outfits like these? [NYDN]

Angelina Not Fired, Still Perfect
Luxury clothing line St. John denies that they’ve fired Brad’s boo as their spokesmodel. Too bad – Shiloh and Zahara were all ready to take her place. [Us Weekly]

Beyonc? Cancels Controversial Show
The singer canceled her concert in Malaysia following protests from Muslim groups. Maybe she just wanted to hit up St. Tropez with Jay instead. [Us Weekly]

by Kate Spencer

Friday: Britney Pops a Pacifier in her Mouth

britney0921.jpgSnoop Dogg Pleads Guilty in Court
This time murder’s not the case they gave him. Instead, the rapper plead guilty to boarding a plane with a baton. [People]

Pics: Britney Plays with Baby Toys
There are train wrecks, and then there’s Britney. The only way she could look more pathetic while sucking her kid’s pacifier is if she had on a dunce cap and was standing in the corner. Seriously, someone help her. [Just Jared]

Paris? Fake Generosity
The heiress is going to give away her clothes to children’s hospitals because she “never wears something twice.” Interestingly, she’s never worn underwear once. Maybe she should make herself a donation at Victoria’s Secret instead. [Mollygood]

J Lo: Feuding with her Mom
Weird – Jennifer Lopez’s mom bitterly admitted that she and her once-close daughter do not talk or see each other any more. Was Gigli really that bad? [NY Daily News]

Sad Brad Pitt Cheered Up by Kids
We get it. You love your kids. They love you. Who knew boning Angelina would come with such rewarding baggage? [People]

by Kate Spencer

Wednesday: J. Lo Rocks A New Belly, MTV Still Loves Kanye

jenniferlopez0912.jpgLindsay: Back in Court
Even though she’s in rehab, LiLo can’t escape the law, as the actress is being forced back to court to deal with a 2005 car accident. It’s almost like she’s addicted to driving like an idiot. [E Online]

Pics: Is That a J. Lo Baby Bump?
The starlet looks like she’s got a tiny baby bulge behind that fancy dress (check out the pic!). Is there a little Lopez on the way? [Just Jared]

Ashlee’s Two Men Duke It Out
Simpson’s dad and boyfriend battled with a nightclub bodyguard who pushed the starlet. Sounds real chivalrous – but what was she doing hanging with her father? [NYDN]

Timberlake Loses Voice, Cancels Shows
Aw, poor Justin. All that hollerin’ he did at the VMAs has finally caught up with him. Guess you can only bring so much sexiness back before it starts to wreck you. [Us Weekly]

MTV Attempts Peace with Kanye

The network tried to make nice with the whiny star, who vowed never to work with MTV again. Just give the guy a couple moon men so he’ll shut the eff up. [People]

by VH1

Rock on TV – The Shortlist

Fashion-Rocks-on-CBSJonesing for music on your television set? You?ve come to the right place, rockers! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read our Rock on TV schedule daily.

Fashion Rocks, 9 p.m. (EST), CBS: It doesn’t get much more fabulous than this, folks. Tonight, style leaders and fashion victims alike gather to celebrate the best crossovers between the worlds of clothing and music-making. Scheduled to perform are a whole host of people who embody rock and R&B, bottom-liners who are equally respected for their tough business noses. Expect to see Jennifer Lopez, Mary J. Blige, Usher and Maroon 5. Also expect to see Fergie. Also expect to see some very expensive clothing, and plenty of people aspiring to be Anna Wintour. We doubt they’ll succeed.

Trapped in the Closet, 9 p.m. (EST), IFC: Even R. Kelly couldn’t explain the continuing evolution of his R&B soap. At its premiere, he called the serial “an alien,” which seems appropriate, since aliens are also things that have been both much loved and also much maligned (not to mention terribly lampooned) since their introduction to pop culture. No mind! Here IFC plays the entire hip-hopera, chapters 1-22, so that you can get a handle on all the drama. If you can’t wait, IFC is screening selections from it now on their Web site, too.

by Kate Spencer

Thursday: J. Lo Channels Her Inner Ho, Britney Wants to Shock Your Pants Off

jlo083007.jpgPics: J. Lo Skanks It Up In New Video
It’s kind of confusing how Jennifer Lopez tries to be all glamorous in public but then her music videos are bootylicious ho-downs. Which block are you from, J.Lo? [Mollygood]

Courtney Love Tried to Save Owen?
The singer claims she tried to warn Owen about his druggie friends. How surprisingly normal of her! [Us Weekly]

Paris In Vegas Charitably Clubbing
The former jailbird danced up a sexy storm in Sin City this week for a good cause – the amusement of everyone watching her. [X17]

The Lohans’ Crazy Public Fight
Lindsay’s parents are now battling it out with each other via gossip blogs. Just reading about their BS makes me want to go to rehab.? [Perez Hilton]

Brit Wants a ?Shocking? Comeback
The sad singer wants to blow our minds with her VMA performance. How about cleaning up, putting on some pants, and acting like an adult? That would shock the s**t out of all of us. [US Weekly]

by Rich Juzwiak

J.Lo Wants To Kiss You in Paris

jlo_justify.jpg

Jennifer Lopez samples Mr. Cheeks in the first single from her upcoming Brave disc, “Do It Well,” and with any luck, we’ll get to see her fame-spawning cheeks in the song’s clip. The David LaChappelle clip has yet to debut, but the New York Daily News has the details: it will find Lopez’s ass clad in leather, roaming an S&M club to find her son. That this has nothing to do with the song’s lyrics matters little, as long as we get to see J.Lo rocking a ball-gag. [New York Daily News]

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by Kate Spencer

Tuesday: John and Cameron Canoodle Like Crazy; K-Fed’s Gonna Be a TV Star

mayer082107.jpgJohn and Cameron Heat Things Up
This new cute couple have been spotted out in NYC being “flirty” and “all over each other.” That “Wonderland” songs gets ‘em every time. [People]

Mary-Kate Spied On By Students
The twin reveals that she dropped out of college because she couldn’t stand her fellow students dishing on her every move. She didn’t leave because she’s dumb – she left for a dumb reason. [A Socialite's Life]

Jennifer Aniston’s Puppy Love
The Friends star is set to star in the new flick Marley & Me, based on a book about one man’s life with his beloved, misbehaving dog. Kinda like Jen’s life with Brad! [Star]

Pics: Rihanna?s Accidental Nip Slip
Oops! Rihanna flashed the audience recently at a televised performance. We’re sure no one minded. [Egotastic]

K-Fed Finally Gets a Real Job
The former Mr. Spears is set to guest star on the teen drama One Tree Hill. He’ll be subpoenaing the whole cast – just for fun. [TMZ]

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