by (@katespencer)

Paris Hilton Can’t Believe Her Eyes

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Well, thank god Paris has finally figured out how the magic of baby-making works. The heiress divulged the deets on a weepy sleepover she had at Nicole’s mom’s house, with the new mama and her little girl Harlow. She said (presumably in her best baby voice), “I was crying when I saw her. She looks like a miniature version of Nicole and Joel. I am so happy for them.?

Is Paris so sheltered that she’s just now realized that babies look like the two people who come together to create them? And from what’s she’s describing, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have created the fugliest baby known to mankind bloggerkind. Check out our artistic interpretation of Paris’ description. Who do you think Harlow Madden looks more like – Mommy or Daddy? [Page Six]

by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Nicole and Her Baby are Twins!

nicolerichie.jpgKatie Holmes Only Answers Easy Questions
It’s not that she’s avoiding those Scientology questions, it’s just that it’s pretty hard to explain how she became pregnant with the sperm of a dead dude. Check out video of Katie talking like a zombie on Good Morning America HERE.? [NYP]

Joel Madden Blogs About Baby
The new dad proudly reveals on his website that his new daughter “looks so much like her mom its crazy!” Ah right, because they both once weighed 7 pounds.? [Us]

OMG! High School Musical 3 Is Happening!
The whole cast is back! It’s a feature film! Tween freakout!!! [People]

Eva?s Not Jumping on the Baby Bandwagon

Nope, she’s just gained ten pounds from eating so much while on strike. Finally, someone sets a good example in Hollywood.? [People]

Ex-Manager Calls J. Lo “Unprofessional”
It’s a dumping whodunnit – J. Lo claims she gave her manager the boot on Friday, but his people dissed her and called her hubby “meddling.” Let’s just assume they’re all annoying and call it a day.? [NYDN]

by (@katespencer)

Celebrity Babies Redeem Their Mommies

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Congrats to Nicole Richie and Christina Aguilera! They both were busy on Friday poppin’ out babies at the same time ( and at the same hospital). Nicole and her boyfriend Joel Madden welcomed a baby girl named Harlow Winter Kate Madden, while Xtina gave birth a couple of hours later to new son Max Liron Bratman. It’s probably too soon – and too creepy – to suggest that these two tots should totally date someday, right? Anyway, everyone (admittedly, ourselves included) is so mushy and gushy over the starlets’ new journey into motherhood that we’ve almost forgotten the moments that got them here. You know the assless chaps, the hair extensions, the trashy make up and boob flashing. But rest assured, we haven’t! So Harlow Winter Kate and Max, when that angsty moment comes around your thirteenth birthday, and you feel the urge to lash out against your super cool Hollywood mom, this post will be there for you, preserved somewhere in the archives of the web. Print out these pics (see below), hang them around your mansion and enjoy the drama that follows. You can thank us by not ever needing to go to rehab.

[Images: Getty]

by (@katespencer)

2007′s Craziest: Nicole Gets Knocked Up

2007nicole.jpgSome gossip stories are too big to forget. We?re counting down the 20 biggest, baddest, and most ridiculous celeb scandals of the year. You?ll get a new one posted every day

Though the official word didn’t come until later in the summer, gossips knew all the way back in May that Hollywood’s skinniest starlet was packin’ baby weight. Given her size, it seemed impossible back then, but Richie’s rocked the baby belly better than any other starlet – certainly way better than Mama Spears! Who would have thought that Nicole’s pregnancy would spawn the end of her bad girl image and the birth of a nicer, gentler Nicole, perhaps instigated by her baby-daddy, tattooed nice-guy Joel Madden. She even donated her baby shower gifts and started a charity for mothers-in-need! The new Nicole is a huge improvement from the skinny shell of a socialite we once loathed, and we have her soon-to-be born baby to thank for that.

by (@katespencer)

Thursday: America Wants More of Britney

britney-spears-1101.jpgBritney?s New Album Reaches #1 Spot
You did it girl! Now if only some genius producers could make everything else in your life amazing too. [Us]

Owen Wilson?s Immodest Bathroom Break
Apparently the actor pees with the door open at events so no one thinks he’s inside snorting coke. Someone tell Lindsay Lohan this brilliant plan! [NYP]

Nick Cannon Crushing on Miss USA
The singer/actor dumped his fiancee and is trying to woo with the pageant winner by constantly sending her flowers, chocolates and balloons. Doesn’t he know that stalking isn’t sexy. [NYP]

Joel Madden Ready for Baby with Nicole
Aw cute, Joel’s so excited for his lil’ Richie that he’s printing tiny t-shirts for his kid. Maybe Nicole can borrow them from baby someday! [People]

Paris Getting Rich Doing Nothing
As usual, people are throwing millions at the dumb bombshell just to appear at their events. I’ll pay Paris to come to my party in a cave and tip her to stay forever. [DListed]

by (@katespencer)

Monday: Justin is Single and Mingling; Joel Pops the Question to Nicole

justin82007.jpgTimberlake Loves the Single Life
Even though he’s been lovey-dovey with Jessica Biel lately, the singer was spotted getting super cozy with a hot brunette this weekend. Get ready to cry a river, Jess. [NY Post]

Lindsay: Ready To Record Album?
Forget movies – Lindsay is ready to revive her singing career with a third album. Expect it to be chock full of great songs for car rides. [NY Daily News]

Brit Goes Bare Without Extensions
Check out these photos of the pop princess without her extensions and you’ll be dreaming of the days she rocked that bad weave. [X17]

Winehouse: Serious About Rehab
Amy skipped out on going to a cushy treatment facility and instead opted for Britain’s more serious Causeway Retreat. Now if only she’d get serious about rehabbing her hair, too. [NY Post]

Nicole and Joel Hear Wedding Bells
Joel Madden apparently proposed to his baby mama Nicole Richie on Thursday. These two are pregnant and engaged after only six months of dating – at the rate they’re going they’ll be retired and living in Florida in a year. [People]

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photo_20?929.gifHot Shots: Cool Pics From Celebville

by (@katespencer)

Friday: Nicole Bosses Her Man Around; Amy Winehouse Gets Healthy

nicole0817071.jpgBrit and Criss Angel Plot VMA Spot
The singer’s VMA performance is reportedly confirmed, and she’s brought Criss Angel in to help plan her gig. He can get on stage and distract the crowd with card tricks while Brit bombs. [X17]

Nicole?s Got Joel Whipped
Joel had to turn down a photo with a lady fan after Nicole gave him strict instructions to avoid any situation that may get rumors started. Let’s star a rumor about Nicole being controlling instead! [NY Post]

Reece and Ryan?s Secret Dates
The estranged couple have apparently been going on dates to try to rekindle their romance. Nothing like a little divorce to spice things up! [E Online]

Read more…

by (@katespencer)

Thursday: Nicole’s Baby Bump is a Boy; Brangelina Falling Out of Love?

nicolejoel080207.jpgEddie Murphy Sued by Baby Mama
Scary Spice is hauling Eddie’s butt into court to legally establish him as their baby’s father. [Yahoo]

Nicole and Joel: Having a Baby Boy?
Now that the pregnancy’s confirmed, it’s time to speculate about Baby Richie-Madden’s gender. Regardless of whether it’s a boy or girl, we know the kid will have a ton of tattoos! [In Touch Weekly]

Britney?s Cousin Alli Speaks Out
Brit’s former assistant/cousin speaks out on her own singing career and calls her cousin a “wonderful mother.” [People]
Read more…

by (@katespencer)

Nicole Confirms It: She’s Pregnant!

nicolepregs080107-copy.jpgBig surprise! Nicole has made it official, telling ABC’s Diane Sawyer in an interview that she is four months pregnant with boyfriend Joel Madden‘s baby. Add that to the list of “Very Obvious Things The World Already Knew.” You know, like:

  • Today is August 1st.
  • It is Summer.
  • Lindsay Lohan‘s new movie is bad.
  • No one listens to Good Charlotte anymore.

Nicole also pledged remorse for her recent DUI that has landed her with three days of jail time to serve. She told Sawyer, ?I have a responsibility and it?s something that I did wrong, and if I could personally apologize to every single person that has lost a loved one from drunk driving I would. And unfortunately I can?t, but this is my way of paying my dues and taking responsibility and being an adult.”

Guess there’s no better time than the present to learn about responsibility and being an adult. Er, especially when you’ll be a mom in five months. But seriously, CONGRATULATIONS! [Image: Getty]

by (@katespencer)

Monday: Janet and Mariah Compete; Justin and Jessica Canoodle

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Album Wars: Janet vs. Mariah
Uber-producer Jermaine Dupri is pitting Mariah Carey’s upcoming album against his girl Janet’s brand new joint, in hopes that the pseudo-competition will boost buzz and sales for both divas. JD’s producing Mimi’s new record too – isn’t Ms. Jackson a little jealous? [Mollygood]

Nicole & Joel: Fighting in Public
The dad-to-be reportedly unleashed his temper on his tiny lady friend, dropping a few F-bombs while the starlet stayed silent. Let’s hope they make peace before the baby arrives. [Star Magazine]

Super-sick Christina Cancels Gig
The little lady with the big voice had to cancel some stops on her latest tour to rest in bed with a bad case of the flu. [People]
Read more…