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VMAs Recap: What Happened in Vegas…

It all started with some ratty extensions…

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…and it only got worse from there. Is this the VMAs or a Rob Zombie movie?

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Still too hard to tell.

Britney’s trainwreck more or less set the tone for the rest of last night’s show, which was supposed to be a new-and-improved version of the Video Music Awards. Mostly, it just felt schizophrenic, with its performers scattered through a series of “parties” at the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas. Though less ceremonious in general (gone away, for the most part, were performer introductions, thankfully) and about as short as you could possibly expect an awards show to be (just over two hours, double thankfully), this year’s VMAs was a series of quick cuts and excerpted performances. It felt like a parody of MTV and the short-attention-span generation the network supposedly spawned. The awards show is what would happen if ADHD got ADHD. (And what’s worse — they gypped us out of what was undoubtedly the best part of the night: the Kid Rock-Tommy Lee tussle.)

After the jump, we recount some highlights. And by “highlights,” more times than not, we mean “lowlights.”

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