by (@kat_george)

Last Lap: Fiona Apple’s New Album Title Is 23 Words Long

Fiona Apple’s New Album Title Is 23 Words Long
Fiona Apple has seconded herself, announcing the name of her new album which — while not as long as the eight line poem that denoted her sophomore effort, When The Pawn… — is healthily fleshed out with 23 words. The title: The Idler Wheel is wiser than the Driver of the Screw, and Whipping Cords will serve you more than Ropes will ever do. Try saying that fast three times. [Idolator]

Kanye West Unveils His Second Fashion Collection In Paris
Kanye‘s second collection is stronger and more concise than his first, but whispers of something borrowed… Givenchy, maybe? Suspicious that pal Riccardo Tisci was spotted front row? Kanye really is a jack of all trades but apparently only a master of music. [Stereogum]

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by (@kat_george)

Watch Jack White Looking Slightly Uncomfortable Next To Lindsay Lohan In The New SNL Promo

Maybe Jack White always looks this uncomfortable, or maybe not, we don’t know the man personally. All we know is that regardless of his regular stance, the charismatic musician seems somewhat perturbed in this new promo for this weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live. White, who is set to appear on the show as a musical guest, spends almost the entire promo next to host Lindsay Lohan and funny man Andy Samberg with his arms folded in front of his body. Add to that a few sideways glances, the hint of an eye roll and the unenthusiastic exasperation with which he delivers his lines and it seems like he’d prefer to be anywhere but there. And let’s not mention that he seems to lean nervously away every time Lindsay gets close to him — or is that just our over active imaginations? What do you think? Let us know in the comments below!

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Leave Me Alone! “I Wanna Go” And The Anti-Paparazzi Music Video

To say that paparazzi are a recent development in celebrity culture would display an alarming lack of historical knowledge; the hugely popular Confidential was the flipside of Hollywood fan magazines in the 1950s, and it was hardly the first scandal sheet?merely the most notable. That being said, the Internet, with a potential for reproduction beyond anything Walter Benjamin could have ever imagined, has had a not-insignificant hand in shrinking the range of the monoculture while simultaneously increasing its scope and depth of focus. In this way the eye of the paparazzi turned towards musicians as much as towards actors and actresses. What was once a shortcoming of fame only faced by music megastars like Elvis, John Lennon, and Michael Jackson, was now a problem facing basically any ing?nue in the music industry. (It’s no coincidence that the coverage skews young and female.)

In some cases, paparazzi coverage can be advantageous to one’s exposure and public image. (See Molly Lambert‘s excellent piece on Blake Lively at Grantland and Anne Helen Peterson‘s follow-up. Or think about how concerned Brooke Hogan really sounded when she sang about the paparazzi on “About Us” while she was regularly appearing on our own Hogan Knows Best.) The strongest anti-paparazzi statements in music videos tend to come from artists whose tabloid coverage has directly affected their lives and/or livelihoods. Lindsay Lohan‘s “Rumors” certainly feels much stronger in retrospect, seven (!) years of life, drama, and tabloid coverage later. Just today she wryly remarked that her house arrest gave her the opportunity to do some much-postponed decorating.

Which brings us to Britney, the most vocal opponent of paparazzi in music video since Michael Jackson. MTV News helpfully gave us a rundown of paparazzi appearances in her videos, noting six examples, one from each album, starting with Oops…I Did It Again, and without even including “I Wanna Go” (the cameras-as-alien-probes imagery in “Hold It Against Me” stands up for Femme Fatale). Her relationship with the tabloid media has never been entirely pleasant, and the relentless coverage of a series of personal and, later, legal struggles she faced in 2006 and 2007 didn’t exactly endear her to paparazzi (or vice versa).

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Lohan Is Presenting Awards At the VMAs

Yep, LaLohan has signed up for a fun evening at the MTV VMAs show in L.A. on Sept 7. Can’t say if her honey-bunny constant companion Samantha Ronson will be tagged along, but ‘cmon, when aren’t these two together? If you’re a sports freak rather than a gossip hound, perhaps you’re more impressed by the fact that Michael Phelps (kingpin Olympian, beer pong genius, and Saturday Night Live host), is scheduled to present awards, too. And if you’re 14-year-old girl, you’ll be giddy to know that Ms Miley will participate.

You can read all about the latest updates to the VMAs presenters’ slate right here.

Watch videos of all the nominees, now. Watch the show on MTV, Sept 7 at 9 pm ET.

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Team Miley: The 15 Biggest Disney Stars

Some stars are born, some stars are made. Those in the latter category probably worked for Disney. No other entertainment conglomerate has an equal knack for nursing young talent until they ripen into mega-selling cash cows. With Miley Cyrus in mags, TV and radio these days, we thought it was time to catch up with the most prominent grads of Disney U. See who made the list, which stretches from Britney to The Jonas Brothers.

The 15 Biggest Disney Stars

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Lindsay Lohan Hits the Studio, Possibly Bottle

lindsay_lohanWhat better way to celebrate a successful stint in rehab than to open yourself up to the acrimony of the public (Exhibit A: Britney) by recording an album? That’s precisely what Lindsay Lohan is planning to do — the uninsurable actress and marginally talented singer has announced plans to start work on her third album, tentatively titled Nobody’s Angel. Indeed. In more upsetting news, The New York Daily News is also reporting that La Lohan might be back on the sauce, having been spotted out in New York City drinking.

Given our familiarity with Linds’ back catalog (we own Raw and A Little More Personal), our hearts are aflutter with the possibilities of all this album will be. Here are a few tracks we’d love to see end up on there.

1. “The Black Kid Was Driving”
2. I Know Who Killed My Career…Me
3. Riley’s Song
4. Coke Ain’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be
5. Daddy’s Little Girl
6. I’m (In) OK (Magazine)…You’re (Not In) OK (Magazine)
7. Sober…Enough (duet with Britney Spears)

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by (@katespencer)

Lindsay Goes Broke from Buying Coke

lindsay090607.jpgWhoops! Apparently Lindsay Lohan wasn’t that rich, because girlfriend’s gone out and blown all her money and is now not allowed to spend a dime. A source says, “Dina must think Lohan is a serious addict, and she’s afraid if she gives her even $20, she’ll run out and buy drugs and booze.”

I guess Dina is smart, cuz that’s definitely where Lindsay’ll go – right to the corner. Linds is supposedly so desperate for cash that she went begging to Damon Dash and 50 Cent for some money. Lindsay and 50 Cent are pals? We had no idea. That’s weirder than him and Kanye getting along. Luckily both hip hop moguls are smart enough not to fork anything over, so some “music industry insider” passed her some cash. Lindsay’s thank you? “I’m good for it, I’ll make a huge comeback. I am, after all, the most famous person on the planet right now!” Nice. Her mom taught her class as well as money management skills. Unless Lindsay has another Mean Girls up her sleeve, that poor “insider” is totally getting screwed. It’s probably Paula Abdul - them drugged up crazy ladies gotta stick together, right? [A Socialite's Life. Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

The Lohans are Loser Parents

lindsaydina080907.jpgLindsay Lohan‘s former bodyguard, Tony Almeida, who worked for the starlet from 2002-2005, has come forward to rat out her parents for being totally crappy at their job. This is hardly news, as even tiny babies know that Michael’s a loon and Dina’s one of those enabling, “I wanna be BFFs with my kids,” kind of ladies. But Tony gives us even more disastrous deets about the Lohans, like the time Michael got so violent while driving on the highway he pulled their car over and slammed Lindsay against the hood, screaming at her and calling her a slut. Nice.

Dina didn’t help the situation, apparently letting her daughter booze at parties and have sleepovers with her then-boyfriend Aaron Carter at fifteen. Letting her daughter go near that scrawny thing was her first mistake right there! Tony also claims he once found Lindsay snorting “powder” in a closet, and says she cut herself repeatedly and threatened suicide, desperate for attention. Sounds like she’s gonna need a lot more help than a third stint in rehab. Just do a Drew Barrymore and get rid of ‘em all Linds! Even if your ex-security guy is lying, your fam did let you make that stripper-murder movie, and that alone is grounds for dismissal. [NY Post. Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Lindsay’s Relapse: The Aftermath

Linds is hopefully settling in to her new rehab bedroom by now, ready to slowly climb back on the wagon. Her rep reports that the star is at an undisclosed treatment facility, and also released this official statement:

“Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care.”

Perhaps a new day will shed more on what led Lindsay to hop in a car and chase down her assistant and her assistant’s mother. And maybe we’ll also learn why the starlet was reaching out to papparazzi agencies offering to sell them photos for cash. But for now, sit back, relax, tighten that alcohol monitoring device around your ankle and enjoy the above video of a police officer and his ‘stache telling you all you need to know about Lindsay’s wild ride off the deep end.