by (@katespencer)

Britney Spears Lives in Her Own World

britney102407.jpg“Hi Britney. I’m your parenting coach. I’m here to watch you with your babies.”

“What babies?”

Surely that’s how the first meeting between Mama Brit and her parenting coach went – if you believe the latest report that her coach has bashed Britney in her report for the judge in her custody case with K-Fed. The coach’s complaints include:

  • Britney ain’t paying no attention to the coach and shows her little respect.
  • She’s often in “her own world,” distracted and unfocused.
  • She refuses to listen to anyone.
  • Britney’s secret language? is made up of five words that each stand for: Frappuccino, Cheetos, car, tanning and get f**ked up.

An inside source claims the report is “very damaging,” but what isn’t these days when Britney is involved? Can it be any worse than her new lips? Doubtful.? [Getty]

by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Nicole Kidman’s Pricey Flop

nicolekidman1024.jpgHeidi Klum and Seal: Singing Together?
Just what we never wanted to see – Heidi Klum singing with her hubby. Next up: Seal aufs a bunch of designers. [Us]

Nicole Kidman?s Career in the Toilet?
With a bunch of bad films under her belt and her new fantasy flick (that cost $175 million to make) already getting trashed in the press, it might be time for Nicole to stop botoxing her face and stick a little juice in her career. [NYP]

Brit Leaves Back Up Dancers Unpaid
Big surprise – Britney still owes her VMA dancers some cash for their work. Starbucks is expensive ya’ll! [Us]

Baby Shiloh Travels in Style
Shiloh’s spoiled and has already seen more of the world in 17 months than we’ll see in our lifetimes. But at least our parents let us eat sugar cereals! [Ok]

The Many Faces of Lindsay?s New Man
Isn’t it cute how Riley Giles looks totally hot in every one of his four mugshots?! Zexy! [TMZ]

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Britney’s Supporters Say Give Her Less

Britney_SpearsMySpace — it’s not just for hooking up and spying on exes anymore. Now you can save pop stars, or at least that’s what a few concerned former employees of Britney Spears would like to think. BeProactiveToHelp was started by a former back-up dancer, bodyguard and makeup artist who are imploring Britney’s fans to refrain from purchasing her upcoming album Blackout. Referring to Britney as a “very broken woman,” this Coalition of the Concerned is asking fans to put pressure on record executives, Britney’s management and publishing company and MTV in order to discourage coverage. “We feel it best to put some weight on these entities we feel need to be held responsible for allowing Britney, and any ‘over the edge’ entertainer to come back to work when clearly not yet ready to hold down a job.”

If you agree that the pop tart’s career is in a tailspin but still want to give her new tunes a listen, we’re streaming her new album here, a week before it comes out. Check it out, and let us know what you think.

by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Halle Berry’s Bad Joke

halle1023.jpgCheck out Brit?s New Big Lips
What’s shocking about these pics is not the size of Britney’s newly enhanced lips, but rather how rough her face is looking these days. Ease up on those fake tans, girl. [Us]

Halle Berry Sorry for Rude Remark
A remorseful Halle Berry apologizes for a ‘Jewish joke’ gone wrong on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. [NYP]

J Lo?s Stingy Reputation
Lopez is refusing to pay the bills she racked up providing cars for peeps like her sister while shooting her last flick. Maybe she’s confused – it’s love that don’t cost a thing, not limos. [NYP]

Reese and Jake Kiss – OMG!!!
It’s only taken these two like, a hundred years to finally show some real PDA – and it’s not even scandalous! We won’t see the sex tape until 2065.? [Us]

Tom Cruise Shows Fans Crazy Love
Little Tommy worked the red carpet and schmoozed with fans for two and a half hours at his new film’s premiere. Even the crazy celebs gotta work hard for their money. [Socialite's Life]

by (@katespencer)

Britney’s Best Day Ever!

britneyspears1022.jpgPhew ya’ll! Britney’s visitation with her kids has been restored, and the rotten-toothed threesome was spotted on Saturday tooting around Studio City in mommy’s Mercedes with her parenting counselor in the passenger seat (and a giant Starbucks in her hand). This alone begs the question – does Britney know how to do anything with those kids BUT drive them around in her car? Doesn’t she have a swing set she can strap them too? The singer’s super day didn’t start until after the kiddies left her mansion the following morning, when she was finally able to live the life that only exists for us regular folks in dreams. While most of America was doing laundry and scrubbing stains out of their carpets yesterday, Britney was ingesting various sweet things and cooking herself in a tanning bed.? Her day kind of makes you realize that screwed-up millionaires really do have it better, even if their bodies are just vessels packed with wrinkled skin and sugar. Lots and lots of sugar.

britneysched.jpg

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Britney’s Blackout: Early Reviews Are In

blackout.jpg
For fans of the disgraced pop princess, tomorrow’s a special day: VH1 will be streaming the new Britney Spears record, in its entirety. So what’s the word back on what you can expect? A bevy of experts have already weighed in. And the news will disappoint all you haters out there: If you believe the critics, Blackout is actually supposed to be pretty good. How do you think it will compare to her previous work?

“She may no longer dance with flair, lip-sync on cue, keep her dress down, or even be judged a suitable mom, but Britney Spears can still turn up on some slammin’ new songs. The much-whispered-about, oft-giggled-over Blackout album, the singer’s first in four years, contains flashes of the zippy pop and propulsive dance beats Brit fans treasure, despite the singer’s, shall we say, distracting activities of the last year.” – The New York Daily News

“This album is going to be #1!!! Everyone needs to back the hell off. Her family wouldn?t have nothing if it weren?t for her. Even Mr. Federline he has what he has because of her. She has made everyone lives better. She?s young and just living her life (and yes the way she wants ). I?m so excited, can?t wait for the 30th!!! YOU GO GIRL!!” – Ashley, a rather intense fan of Britney Spears, in a post at VH1.com
Read more…

by (@katespencer)

Monday: Ellen’s History of Homeless Dogs

ellen1022.jpgJ. Lo?s Hubby: Singing About Baby?
Marc Anthony belted out Journey’s love song “Faithfully” at a recent show and dedicated it to his wife. Either he wants us to know she’s knocked up, or he just loves really bad 80′s jams. [Us]

Britney Gets Her Babies Back
The singer had her visitation rights with her kids reinstated, which means they’ll probably be taken away in a couple of hours. [TMZ]

Is Ellen a Chronic Dog Ditcher?
A producer has come forward to reveal that the talk show host adopted, and then re-gifted, her pup a few years back. The plot of Puppy-gate thickens! [NYP]

Kim Kardashian Claims to be Tame
The big-bootied nobody says she’s not a party girl – she just poses as one in Playboy. [Us]

Brangelina Mix Business with Pleasure
The perfect pair are producing a new HBO show together about aid workers saving the world. We wanted sex tapes! [People]

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Hear The New Britney Disc on Tuesday!

blackout.jpg

If controversy is your cup of tea, be here Tuesday morning to hear Britney Spears‘ wildly-anticipated CD, Blackout. Lots of Brit tracks have hit the Web in various forms during the last few weeks, but Tuesday is the day when the real deal comes to town. Many of the songs are said to have a synth-driven dance vibe, a la the lead track, “Gimme More.” One, “Get Naked (I Got a Plan),” certainly has sex on its mind. Pundits have said that the album is more impressive than one might think given the singer’s recent escapades. At any rate, the ball will be in your court. We expect lots of comments when you’re done listening to the CD in its entirety courtesy of VH1′s The Leak. As a matter of fact, weigh in now: will the disc live up to Brit’s previous work?

Make the jump to see Blackout‘s final track listing. Watch a fun overview of Brit’s career in Box Set.

Read more…

by (@katespencer)

Big-Lipped Britney Busts Up Photog

Heard the one about Britney Spears getting collagen lip injections and then driving over a photographer? There’s no actual punchline, because Britney’s enough of a joke on her own. As you can see in the above video, the wreck of a singer left an LA medical center covering her mouth. Pics show her lips looking extra large, but maybe they’re just swollen from eating too many Big Macs. Girl likes things super-sized! Poor thing probably couldn’t see over her massive mouth, and that’s how she ended up nailing a photographer’s foot under her car. I have a sneaking suspicion that her lips actually knocked him out. They’re so huge she had to open her window to make room for them, and crunch! Man down. The incident so upset Britney that she stopped for a moment, started crying and then drove away to go eat a cookie. You know, something she just urgently NEEDS to do in public.

by (@katespencer)

Friday: Paris Gets Smart About Drunk Driving

paris1019.jpgPartying Paris Hires a Driver
The heiress arranged for transportation so she didn’t have to get behind the wheel after a night of table dancing and shots. It only took her 40 days in jail to wise up! [Us Weekly]

Heidi Montag?s Sexy Music Video
As if Heidi and Spencer couldn’t get more loathsome…The two recently shot her music video on the beach, with Heidi prancing around in a bikini. The concept appears to be T&A – her only two redeeming qualities, natch. [Just Jared]

Is Seinfeld’s Wife a Liar?
Jessica Seinfeld’s new kids cookbook is eerily similar to another recipe guide that came out earlier this year. Which leads us to ask, “What’s the deal with plagiarizing about pureed food?” [NYDN]

Britney Settles Hit & Run
One problem out of the way, 68950302840303 more to go! [TMZ]

Doggone Tired Ellen Cancels Show
After a grueling week of dog drama, Ellen takes the day off. Will her fans call in death threats to her now, too? [TMZ]