by (@katespencer)

Brit Wants a Slumber Party with her Babies

britneypinkeeye.jpgPillow fights! Popcorn! Watching Pretty Woman together and giggling! Brit wants her babies to sleep over, and her lawyers are going to court this morning (yes, Britney skipped the hearing again) to beg the judge for some baby time. Brit currently is only allowed monitored daytime visits, but she’s apparently passed a few drug tests and has now decided that she’s a fit mom. Her request seems pretty reasonable to us. Her worst offense is really this horrible fur coat she rocked last night, when she went out and only drank water. So adult! You go girl!

K-Fed’s lawyer is obviously not having Brit’s request for more sleepovers, and used some seriously mean legal language to tell her so. Yet even though the court case has divided the family, they are all still connected through one thing. Nooooo, not their love of Happy Meals. Britney, Kevin, Sean P and Jayden J all have PINK EYE! Maybe that parenting coach can advise this family to wash their hands more. [Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Britney Pops K-Fed, Drops Album Early

britney1010.jpgYou ready for Brit’s 1-2-3 punch? Here it is!

1. She’s been accused of being physically violent against her ex-hubby, which may account for the “no corporal punishment” clause in their custody agreement. Did all his tank tops make her throw fisticuffs?

2. Britney’s been ordered by a judge to be booked for that ‘Whoops! I just hit a parked car, ya’ll!’ moment she had in August. Seeing as Brit just walked away from the scene the incident is technically a hit and run, and she is trying to settle with the ‘victim’ out of court. We just want a Britney mugshot!

3. The album of the year is about to hit stores early! Britney’s latest attempt at a comeback, her new album Blackout (yes, that’s the real name), is dropping two weeks early on October 30th. This means you can actually buy all the songs you’ve already heard leaked all over the internet! [Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Is Pamela Preggers?

pam10102.jpgPam Anderson Pregnancy Rumors Heat Up
Pam and her new hubby Rick Soloman have apparently come together to create a baby. We hope they taped the conception – it’ll make a great 21st b-day gift!? [DListed]

Britney Spears Passes Her Drug Test
Gasp! She couldn’t possibly have – but she did! Is Brit a better mom than we thought? [Us Weekly]

Kiefer?s Going to Jail for DUI
They’re locking him up for a total of 48 days. Surely his Jack Bauer skills can get him out of the clink, right? [TMZ]

Kid Rock?s Got Love for Pam
The guy offers up some choice words about his ex-wife to David Letterman. Think he’s bitter? [People]

Lindsay?s Cuddly Shopping Trip
The starlet drags her new boyfriend on a shopping spree. Does this poor kid know what he’s getting into? [X17]

by (@katespencer)

Britney’s Behind the Bar, Ya’ll!

brit109.jpgWe can not – must not – try to understand or explain the insane life choices of Britney Spears. Instead all we can do is sit and watch and marvel. And now, we can have her make us a drink too! Yes, Brit is desperate for a career change, and last week the starlet applied to be a BARTENDER at the Cameo Bar at LA’s Viceroy Hotel. Filled out an application and everything. You know – to be someone who serves customers drinks and listens to their problems. Right up her alley, obviously.

This is the perfect job for a washed-up millionaire mom of two. She probably even has a signature drink she wants you to enjoy! Her recipe:

Britney’s Night Out in a Glass

  • 5 shots of generic, cheap house vodka
  • 1 squirt of Coca Cola
  • 7 packets Taco Bell Border Sauce – Hot Flavor
  • Shaken, not stirred
  • Two Marlboro Light Menthol cigarettes crumbled on top as garnish (it’s minty ya’ll!)
  • ENJOY!

[Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Nicole’s Barefoot & Pregnant Down Under

nicole1009.jpgNicole Rocks Bikini in Australia
Is it wrong to hate a pregnant woman for looking better in bikinis than you do? [Just Jared]

Britney Finally Sees Her Sons
The boys and a parenting coach came to Brit’s house for a visit – so she waddled around her yard yapping on a cell phone while the children played. Daddy – help! [NYDN]

Lily Allen: Hypnotized to Get Skinny
The singer was hypnotized into enjoying exercise and eating. Because how else could you get her to do anything? [Us Weekly]

Tom Cruise?s Cursed Film
Much of the film for Tommy’s new movie about a German soldier is unusable and must be shot again. Let’s see Scientology save ya now, buddy! [People]

Foxy Pens Song in the Slammer
Look out! Foxy’s pissed at a certain NY newspaper and is taking her threats to the page. Good thing she’s gonna be locked up for a while. [NY Post]

by (@katespencer)

Brit Runs for the Border After Intervention

What did the Spears Clan have in store for this wonderful weekend?

  • Thursday morning: Britney blows of her kid’s visit because she didn’t want a parenting coach present. Mothering at its best!
  • Friday night: Mom Spears and Sister Spears arrive in LA to visit Crazy Spears
  • 3 AM Saturday morning: The Spears women reunite and cry, hug, eat – repeat.
  • Saturday afternoon: Mama, Sister and Fed-Ex gather at Brit’s house for an apparent intervention. Brit runs out at around 7PM and drives around LA all night like a lunatic
  • Saturday night: Brit and her Sis head out to Taco Bell for girl talk and farts. Intervention forgotten!?
  • Sunday afternoon: Britney and Jamie-Lynn get in a fight with a crazy woman and it’s all caught on tape! Check it out above. The price these poor celebs pay for their Starbucks addictions.
  • Sunday night: Mama Spears cooks the whole gang a dinner! Did that intervention even ever happen? Maybe it was just about her outfits. No more t-shirts as dresses!

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by (@katespencer)

Monday: J.Lo’s Mouth Shut on Baby Bump

jlo108.jpgNaughty Beyonce Enjoys Burlesque Show
B and her group of girls got down at an NYC burlesque show. So this is why Jay likes her. [NYP]

J.Lo Keeps Baby Bump Under Wraps
J. Lo stayed silent on her rumored pregnancy and chose only to belt out songs at her NYC show. An announcement on that baby bump probably would’ve sounded better. [NYDN]

Britney Goin? Broke
Brit’s blowing through her cash stash like a pile of good nose candy. Maybe it’s time to put down the tacos and go back to work. [NYP]

Christina Gets Ready for Baby
The singer and her hubby registered for baby goods over the weekend and they adorably rubbed her belly the whole time. So when is she gonna reveal her pregnancy? We can’t buy her gifts until she does! [People]

Paris is a Party Hog
Big surprise – the heiress took over the mic and her sister’s b-day bash like it was her own shindig. Is it possible that jail actually made Paris a worse human being? [TMZ]

by (@katespencer)

Britney Cries Into Her Quesadillas

lolbrit.jpgWell, you’re about to hear it straight from the ho(rse)’s mouth. Britney says she is: “So happy!” She asks us, “What would I have to be sad about?” Also, she wants you to know: “Quesadillas!”

That’s what the sad singer revealed as she chatted away aimlessly to the paparazzi last night as she left a Mexican restaurant in LA. Surely she is smart enough to be throwing down a little sarcasm when the paps ask why she’s upset. She had been spotted crying earlier in the day and almost had a meltdown at a movie theater, so we’re gonna guess that’s she’s teetering on the brink. Before she hopped in her car she hooted, “Party on me!” What kind of celebration could she be inviting people too?

  • Ya’ll my kids are finally the hell outta my house party!
  • Check it out ya’ll, I’m wearin’ new boots party!
  • My hairs extensions is lookin’ real today ya’ll party!
  • It’s 6AM and I just ya’ll had McDonalds party!

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by (@katespencer)

Thursday: Nick Cannon Bails on Bride-to-Be

nickcannon.jpgHas Lindsay Left Rehab?
The starlet and her pops were spotted packing up the family SUV and heading away from Cirque Lodge. Father-daughter sobriety is just precious. [X17]

Nick Cannon Calls Off Wedding
The singer/actor and his super hot model fianc?e have ended things but remain best friends, blah blah blah. [People]

Britney?s Sex Tape: Is It Real?
Just what we didn’t want to see – the Brit Brit sex tape. Though we are curious to see how she uses a giant Starbucks Frappucino as a sex toy. [WWTDD]

Paris’ Handsome New Obsession
The heiress is obsessed with the Swedish pizza boy she “discovered” this summer, and has gotten him signed to her modeling agency. That’s hot – and soooo philanthropic. [Us]

Avril?s New Video: Hot or Not?
Avril channels her inner Britney in her new music video. The song is catchy, but are her awkward dance moves? [Just Jared]