X17 has posted of a video (and pics!) of Brit driving away from a store blasting what sources say is a new tune from the washed up pop starlet. While it certainly is exciting to hear ten seconds of Britney moaning "Yeahhhh" over beats, the real magic happen inside the store when she realizes she’s about to be accosted by a paparazzi swarm. After appearing shocked by the onslaught of cameras, she exits the vitamin shop while groaning like a dying (but still sassy) lamb about to be butchered. It is both hilarious and horrifying at the same time – and 100% Britney. Something tells me this is how she and her sons communicate at home. One dead sheep groan means "It’s time to change your diaper," and two groans roughly translates into " Get mommy her damn cigarettes, you idiot!"

More pics of Britney making the "Holy eff I’m horrified by the paparazzi – but look at my sexy pink bikini shirt!" face can be found here.

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The name of Britney’s new man has been nailed down as Daimon Shippen, who is possibly the same mustachioed security guy who helped Brit when she almost dropped Sean Preston on the street last year. X17 has some juicy tidbits on the protective giant:

• Approximately 34 years of age.
• He’s served as a production assistant on films.
• Was fired from his first bodyguard employment agency for allegedly owning a "sex toy/porn website." Uh oh…
• X17 says he "may not be into girls!" What is going on here?!

We’ve got Us saying that Daimon and Brit are definitely doing it, and a different report that reveals Britney’s boyfriend’s name is apparently Sam, and it’s not this beefcake at all! And supposedly this beefcake likes other beefcakes! We’re lost. Sounds like Brit might be too – as Children’s Protective Services visited her Malibu mansion three times last week due to her pool being unsafe for children. The visit forced the starlet to move her brood to the Four Seasons Hotel where she was spotted sobbing. It’s a good thing Brit has some big arms to hold her and a broad chest to lean on. Even if he doesn’t like girls, he’ll at least still let her cry. Cuz he’s on her payroll and really doesn’t have a choice.

Britney Spears is reportedly getting close to her bodyguard/boyfriend, and the two were spotted frolicking with her sons Sean and Jayden in her Malibu compound pool over the weekend. But that’s not even the most exciting Britney news to surface today. Rumors are floating around the web that she may actually be attempting that anticipated comeback with the release of a new single, supposedly titled "Get Back." Some alleged lyrics to the song:

so you?re the one
who want us
to get back
(you say lets get back together)(lets get back forever)
now its u the one
who?s followin me around
like a homeless dog
and you pray
(let?s get back together,let?s get back for better)
get back
lets lets lets
get back(back,back,back?)

This could all be just one great big rumor, but if not, we sure hope "homeless dog" sounds better in song than it looks on paper. This is like one step up from Brit’s usual attempts at putting her feelings into words. But still – if there’s anyway we can get old Britney back, we’ll take it. Get that girl a snake and some sequins!

Each new day brings a new batch of cringe-worthy stories from the tumultuous world of Britney Spears. Today’s tidbit is that the starlet has reportedly changed her will, ensuring that if Britney dies, her mom Lynne will not gain custody of her two sons. That honor, as well as her entire estate, is now left to her little sister Jamie-Lynn, 15.

Britney must be feeling good about her big decision because she hit the town in a new Amy Winehouse inspired hairdo. Pics show her out with a hunky dude, but sadly he’s just her bodyguard. Never fear – Britney does have a boyfriend, he’s just currently on bed rest recovering from bowel surgery. He sounds super hot already! Luckily he’s still able to talk to The National Inquirer. Real estate investor John Sundahl claims he’s Brit’s new flame, and tells the rag, ?When I was in the hospital, she sat with me and held my hand all night
long. She even sang and hummed to me while I was practically
unconscious."

The only thing more romantic than getting a bedside lullaby after bowel surgery is dishing about it after to a tabloid. Smooth move, man! That’ll win her over for sure.