For fans of the disgraced pop princess, tomorrow’s a special day: VH1 will be streaming the new Britney Spears record, in its entirety. So what’s the word back on what you can expect? A bevy of experts have already weighed in. And the news will disappoint all you haters out there: If you believe the critics, Blackout is actually supposed to be pretty good. How do you think it will compare to her previous work?
“She may no longer dance with flair, lip-sync on cue, keep her dress down, or even be judged a suitable mom, but Britney Spears can still turn up on some slammin’ new songs. The much-whispered-about, oft-giggled-over Blackout album, the singer’s first in four years, contains flashes of the zippy pop and propulsive dance beats Brit fans treasure, despite the singer’s, shall we say, distracting activities of the last year.” – The New York Daily News
“This album is going to be #1!!! Everyone needs to back the hell off. Her family wouldn?t have nothing if it weren?t for her. Even Mr. Federline he has what he has because of her. She has made everyone lives better. She?s young and just living her life (and yes the way she wants ). I?m so excited, can?t wait for the 30th!!! YOU GO GIRL!!” – Ashley, a rather intense fan of Britney Spears, in a post at VH1.com
J. Lo?s Hubby: Singing About Baby?
Marc Anthony belted out Journey’s love song “Faithfully” at a recent show and dedicated it to his wife. Either he wants us to know she’s knocked up, or he just loves really bad 80′s jams. [Us]
Britney Gets Her Babies Back
The singer had her visitation rights with her kids reinstated, which means they’ll probably be taken away in a couple of hours. [TMZ]
Is Ellen a Chronic Dog Ditcher?
A producer has come forward to reveal that the talk show host adopted, and then re-gifted, her pup a few years back. The plot of Puppy-gate thickens! [NYP]
Kim Kardashian Claims to be Tame
The big-bootied nobody says she’s not a party girl – she just poses as one in Playboy. [Us]
Brangelina Mix Business with Pleasure
The perfect pair are producing a new HBO show together about aid workers saving the world. We wanted sex tapes! [People]
If controversy is your cup of tea, be here Tuesday morning to hear Britney Spears‘ wildly-anticipated CD, Blackout. Lots of Brit tracks have hit the Web in various forms during the last few weeks, but Tuesday is the day when the real deal comes to town. Many of the songs are said to have a synth-driven dance vibe, a la the lead track, “Gimme More.” One, “Get Naked (I Got a Plan),” certainly has sex on its mind. Pundits have said that the album is more impressive than one might think given the singer’s recent escapades. At any rate, the ball will be in your court. We expect lots of comments when you’re done listening to the CD in its entirety courtesy of VH1′s The Leak. As a matter of fact, weigh in now: will the disc live up to Brit’s previous work?
Make the jump to see Blackout‘s final track listing. Watch a fun overview of Brit’s career in Box Set.
Heard the one about Britney Spears getting collagen lip injections and then driving over a photographer? There’s no actual punchline, because Britney’s enough of a joke on her own. As you can see in the above video, the wreck of a singer left an LA medical center covering her mouth. Pics show her lips looking extra large, but maybe they’re just swollen from eating too many Big Macs. Girl likes things super-sized! Poor thing probably couldn’t see over her massive mouth, and that’s how she ended up nailing a photographer’s foot under her car. I have a sneaking suspicion that her lips actually knocked him out. They’re so huge she had to open her window to make room for them, and crunch! Man down. The incident so upset Britney that she stopped for a moment, started crying and then drove away to go eat a cookie. You know, something she just urgently NEEDS to do in public.
Partying Paris Hires a Driver
The heiress arranged for transportation so she didn’t have to get behind the wheel after a night of table dancing and shots. It only took her 40 days in jail to wise up! [Us Weekly]
Heidi Montag?s Sexy Music Video
As if Heidi and Spencer couldn’t get more loathsome…The two recently shot her music video on the beach, with Heidi prancing around in a bikini. The concept appears to be T&A – her only two redeeming qualities, natch. [Just Jared]
Is Seinfeld’s Wife a Liar?
Jessica Seinfeld’s new kids cookbook is eerily similar to another recipe guide that came out earlier this year. Which leads us to ask, “What’s the deal with plagiarizing about pureed food?” [NYDN]
Britney Settles Hit & Run
One problem out of the way, 68950302840303 more to go! [TMZ]
Doggone Tired Ellen Cancels Show
After a grueling week of dog drama, Ellen takes the day off. Will her fans call in death threats to her now, too? [TMZ]
The judge in Brit’s custody case has denied the starlet any and all visitation rights with her kids! Oh snap. No sleepovers, no monitored play time, no family dinners where each kid gets his own KFC bucket of Extra Crispy chicken. So why has the starlet’s visits been suspended? Because the Queen of all Idiots “did not provide the drug testing people with contact information so they could reach her to facilitate the random tests.”
Sigh. Come on Britney, get it together! If you don’t, you’re gonna have to resort to some drastic measures to see those kids. Check out the hilarious video above for some sweet ideas – Mrs. Britfire has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?? [TMZ. BWE]
Video: Is Ellen Ending Her Dog Drama?
The talk show star has asked her fans to stop the death threats against the shelter owner who took her dog, but her fingers were probably crossed behind her back as she said it. [DListed]
Angelina Rocks New Look on Set
Saint Angie has shipped the fam to LA so she can rock this new dowdy 1940s look in her new flick. She looks more great-grandma than mom, but we’re sure Brad finds it sexy! [X17]
Lilo & Her Man?s Matching Mug Shots
It’s what little girls always dream about when they think of their future boyfriend – his sexy mugshot pic! Do you think they traded pics and wrote love notes on the back of them? [TMZ]
Oprah?s Serious Health Scare
Say it ain’t sOprah! Our favorite woman in the world fell ill with a thyroid problem this summer – but it was nothing a month-long Hawaiian vaca couldn’t cure! [E Online]
Britney?s Secret Court Hearing
There’s no word on why Brit and K-Fed’s lawyers got together with the judge in their custody case yesterday, but we guess it was to gossip about Brit’s latest fashion disaster. [Us Weekly]
Britney turned herself in last night to to the LAPD at around 9:30 PM and went through the regular booking routine – photographs, fingerprints, a detailed account of what the eff she was thinking when she hit a car in front of swarms of cameras and then walked away. The starlet was decked out in a typical Brit outfit of designer clothes that somehow, when combined on her bod, look like streetwalker garb. Brit was reportedly “polite and courteous to the officers,” and according to the booking sheet is 5’5 and weighs 125 pounds (so healthy – hurray for Taco Bell!). Check out the clip of her chat with a local LA newscaster as she walks from the jail to her car, especially if you’re dying to know Brit’s answer to “Any plans for Halloween?” That is stellar journalism at work right there! America needs to know! Interestingly enough, Britney was spotted driving around in a pink wig prior to her jail journey. Isn’t every day Halloween for her? [TMZ. Image: Getty]
After yesterday’s rash of fake covers for Britney Spears‘ forthcoming Blackout disc (including one “verified” by the always reliable source that is Fox News), one comes along that could really be real. Really! Via ONTD, this one supposedly can be found on Sony BMG’s login-only promo site that services images and album info to media outlets. Of course, the irony of this being the possible official cover is that a) it’s about 10 times uglier and tackier than Cheeto-dusted fingers and b) a fan could have made it. Literally! The main image is just a colorized version of a shot previously used for the U.K. version of the “Gimme More” single:
Look at all that effort! It’s the album-artwork equivalent of that somnambulist performance Britney stumbled through on this year’s VMAs. Or that laughable “Gimme More” video. Or, you know, Britney’s half-hearted attempts to win back her kids. Whatever, at least this project has a theme: sloth.
Bet you Photoshop geniuses have some ideas what the real Brit cover art should look like. Send us some examples to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll put them up.