by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Is Pamela Preggers?

pam10102.jpgPam Anderson Pregnancy Rumors Heat Up
Pam and her new hubby Rick Soloman have apparently come together to create a baby. We hope they taped the conception – it’ll make a great 21st b-day gift!? [DListed]

Britney Spears Passes Her Drug Test
Gasp! She couldn’t possibly have – but she did! Is Brit a better mom than we thought? [Us Weekly]

Kiefer?s Going to Jail for DUI
They’re locking him up for a total of 48 days. Surely his Jack Bauer skills can get him out of the clink, right? [TMZ]

Kid Rock?s Got Love for Pam
The guy offers up some choice words about his ex-wife to David Letterman. Think he’s bitter? [People]

Lindsay?s Cuddly Shopping Trip
The starlet drags her new boyfriend on a shopping spree. Does this poor kid know what he’s getting into? [X17]

by (@katespencer)

Britney’s Behind the Bar, Ya’ll!

brit109.jpgWe can not – must not – try to understand or explain the insane life choices of Britney Spears. Instead all we can do is sit and watch and marvel. And now, we can have her make us a drink too! Yes, Brit is desperate for a career change, and last week the starlet applied to be a BARTENDER at the Cameo Bar at LA’s Viceroy Hotel. Filled out an application and everything. You know – to be someone who serves customers drinks and listens to their problems. Right up her alley, obviously.

This is the perfect job for a washed-up millionaire mom of two. She probably even has a signature drink she wants you to enjoy! Her recipe:

Britney’s Night Out in a Glass

  • 5 shots of generic, cheap house vodka
  • 1 squirt of Coca Cola
  • 7 packets Taco Bell Border Sauce – Hot Flavor
  • Shaken, not stirred
  • Two Marlboro Light Menthol cigarettes crumbled on top as garnish (it’s minty ya’ll!)
  • ENJOY!

[Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Nicole’s Barefoot & Pregnant Down Under

nicole1009.jpgNicole Rocks Bikini in Australia
Is it wrong to hate a pregnant woman for looking better in bikinis than you do? [Just Jared]

Britney Finally Sees Her Sons
The boys and a parenting coach came to Brit’s house for a visit – so she waddled around her yard yapping on a cell phone while the children played. Daddy – help! [NYDN]

Lily Allen: Hypnotized to Get Skinny
The singer was hypnotized into enjoying exercise and eating. Because how else could you get her to do anything? [Us Weekly]

Tom Cruise?s Cursed Film
Much of the film for Tommy’s new movie about a German soldier is unusable and must be shot again. Let’s see Scientology save ya now, buddy! [People]

Foxy Pens Song in the Slammer
Look out! Foxy’s pissed at a certain NY newspaper and is taking her threats to the page. Good thing she’s gonna be locked up for a while. [NY Post]

by (@katespencer)

Brit Runs for the Border After Intervention

What did the Spears Clan have in store for this wonderful weekend?

  • Thursday morning: Britney blows of her kid’s visit because she didn’t want a parenting coach present. Mothering at its best!
  • Friday night: Mom Spears and Sister Spears arrive in LA to visit Crazy Spears
  • 3 AM Saturday morning: The Spears women reunite and cry, hug, eat – repeat.
  • Saturday afternoon: Mama, Sister and Fed-Ex gather at Brit’s house for an apparent intervention. Brit runs out at around 7PM and drives around LA all night like a lunatic
  • Saturday night: Brit and her Sis head out to Taco Bell for girl talk and farts. Intervention forgotten!?
  • Sunday afternoon: Britney and Jamie-Lynn get in a fight with a crazy woman and it’s all caught on tape! Check it out above. The price these poor celebs pay for their Starbucks addictions.
  • Sunday night: Mama Spears cooks the whole gang a dinner! Did that intervention even ever happen? Maybe it was just about her outfits. No more t-shirts as dresses!

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by (@katespencer)

Monday: J.Lo’s Mouth Shut on Baby Bump

jlo108.jpgNaughty Beyonce Enjoys Burlesque Show
B and her group of girls got down at an NYC burlesque show. So this is why Jay likes her. [NYP]

J.Lo Keeps Baby Bump Under Wraps
J. Lo stayed silent on her rumored pregnancy and chose only to belt out songs at her NYC show. An announcement on that baby bump probably would’ve sounded better. [NYDN]

Britney Goin? Broke
Brit’s blowing through her cash stash like a pile of good nose candy. Maybe it’s time to put down the tacos and go back to work. [NYP]

Christina Gets Ready for Baby
The singer and her hubby registered for baby goods over the weekend and they adorably rubbed her belly the whole time. So when is she gonna reveal her pregnancy? We can’t buy her gifts until she does! [People]

Paris is a Party Hog
Big surprise – the heiress took over the mic and her sister’s b-day bash like it was her own shindig. Is it possible that jail actually made Paris a worse human being? [TMZ]

by (@katespencer)

Britney Cries Into Her Quesadillas

lolbrit.jpgWell, you’re about to hear it straight from the ho(rse)’s mouth. Britney says she is: “So happy!” She asks us, “What would I have to be sad about?” Also, she wants you to know: “Quesadillas!”

That’s what the sad singer revealed as she chatted away aimlessly to the paparazzi last night as she left a Mexican restaurant in LA. Surely she is smart enough to be throwing down a little sarcasm when the paps ask why she’s upset. She had been spotted crying earlier in the day and almost had a meltdown at a movie theater, so we’re gonna guess that’s she’s teetering on the brink. Before she hopped in her car she hooted, “Party on me!” What kind of celebration could she be inviting people too?

  • Ya’ll my kids are finally the hell outta my house party!
  • Check it out ya’ll, I’m wearin’ new boots party!
  • My hairs extensions is lookin’ real today ya’ll party!
  • It’s 6AM and I just ya’ll had McDonalds party!

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by (@katespencer)

Thursday: Nick Cannon Bails on Bride-to-Be

nickcannon.jpgHas Lindsay Left Rehab?
The starlet and her pops were spotted packing up the family SUV and heading away from Cirque Lodge. Father-daughter sobriety is just precious. [X17]

Nick Cannon Calls Off Wedding
The singer/actor and his super hot model fianc?e have ended things but remain best friends, blah blah blah. [People]

Britney?s Sex Tape: Is It Real?
Just what we didn’t want to see – the Brit Brit sex tape. Though we are curious to see how she uses a giant Starbucks Frappucino as a sex toy. [WWTDD]

Paris’ Handsome New Obsession
The heiress is obsessed with the Swedish pizza boy she “discovered” this summer, and has gotten him signed to her modeling agency. That’s hot – and soooo philanthropic. [Us]

Avril?s New Video: Hot or Not?
Avril channels her inner Britney in her new music video. The song is catchy, but are her awkward dance moves? [Just Jared]

by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Christina Stinks So Good

xtina1003.jpgX-Tina Jumps on Perfume Bandwagon
The singer has her own scent and a (kind of) sexy new commercial. She may have the best voice, but can she beat Mimi and Britney when it comes to stinkin’ up America? [Just Jared]

Brad Blabs about Copying Angie
Mr. Jolie sounds more like Mr. Mom in this interview, in which he dishes on politics, helping others, and his paparazzi-savvy son “Maddie.” Cute? [ICYDK]

Pics: Lindsay Acts like a Kid in Rehab
Just another little girl picking out her Halloween pumpkin! Except that she’s washed up and 21-years old. [X17]

Nicole Richie Shows off her Glow
In these pics Nicole proves the theory that pregnant ladies glow – or her hair highlights are just that good. [Just Jared]

Britney Hates Super Fan Chris Crocker
The singer was apparently “insulted” by Crocker’s “Leave Britney Alone” rant. We think she’s just a little jealous that someone else is getting all the attention. [Us]

by

Act Like An Ass, Lose Your Kids

britkids_450x.jpg

It couldn’t have gone on forever. Not after the bodyguard spilled the beans. So the court has stepped in and removed Britney Spears‘ kids from the singer’s home. As of Wednesday, that bastion of maturity, Kevin Federline, will take care of his own progeny. You recall the history. The judge ordered a parenting coach, and random testing for drugs after finding “habitual, frequent, and continuous use of controlled substances” defining the toxic one’s party-centric lifestyle. So come mid-day Wednesday, K-Fed will have to nurture Sean Preston and his brother himself – if he can stay alive, that is. Check pics of Brit and K-Fed in happier times, plus a few snapshots of Brit’s recent VMA disaster.

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