by (@katespencer)

Britney’s New Single: Dropping Next Week?

britney082907.jpgThe washed up pop princess (or Queen Mother, really) is ready to give you more, whether you want it or not. Entertainment Weekly is exclusively reporting that the first single from Brit’s fifth album could drop as early as next week. The single is apparently called “Gimme More” and it’s “an up-tempo club cut produced by Timbaland prot?g? Nate ”Danjahandz” Hills.” Anonymous sources tell EW that “‘People are going to love [the new single],” and ”It’s a smash! She’s going to come out strong.” But the spies also question if the public is ready for a new, upbeat Britney with all the drama she’s flaunting these days. Apparently her studio is a little worried too, as another source reveals that the album is “expected to hit shelves this fall with little to no promotional setup.”

We think people will buy the album whether it’s good or not – if only to experience the musical trainwreck that could possibly be about to go down. As for her new “club cut” of a single, our guess is that it’s really just a secret message to K-Fed telling him to bring on the subpoenas. Afterall, Brit’s reportedly hired a private eye to spy on his ass. Gimme more custody drama, please! [EW. Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Angelina’s Sexy in the Middle East; Britney’s Busted for Bad Driving

angie082907.jpgBritney?s Got Major Car Troubles
So what if the pop star ran out of gas on the side of the road AND got a parking ticket in one day. Irresponsible drivers make great moms! [TMZ]

Lindsay to Reunite with her Dad
The rehabbing starlet has approved a visit from her estranged father, to take place at her rehab spot in Utah. Expect a sappy song about the meeting real soon. [NY Post]


Madonna?s Son Still in Adoption Limbo

Officials from Malawi are heading to visit the singer to ensure she is fit to mother her adopted son. Hopefully they won’t mind that her kids play dress up with her pointy bra costumes. [A Socialite's Life]

Angelina Looks Hot in Iraq
Angie goes au natural while visiting troops and refugees in Iraq, and she looks damn good while doing so. Now we see why Brad fell in love with her “humanitarian side.” [TMZ]

Backstreet Boys are Back ? as Hipsters
Four of the five Boys are back with a new album and a new, cool look. Too bad they’re a little old for it now. Maybe they should pass their hipster outfits on to their kids? [Mollygood]

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by (@katespencer)

Britney’s Kids Have Rotting Teeth

britney082807.jpgGood News: Britney got new, pretty blond extensions!

Bad News: The latest outlook on the Brit-cast is dark and stormy, ya’ll. A friend of the starlet’s got in a car accident trying to flee K-Fed’s cronies who showed up at his house to serve him with a subpoena. Her former manager, Larry Rudolph, is currently hiding out somewhere to avoid the same fate. His pal Ryan Seacrest said, “He’s actually on the run, if you will…he doesn’t want to say where he is and he doesn’t want to be served because he said it won’t be good for Britney.”

Brit’s also being investigated by the Department of Children and Family Services due to “allegations of poor dental hygiene, as well as poor eating and sleeping habits for her kids.” Apparently it may even be K-Fed who filed the complaint! There are two lessons to be learned here. Don’t marry a tool-ish backup dancer at twenty-three years old. Also, brush your kids teeth.

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by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Ashanti Packin’ the Pounds; Jessica Simpson Will Sing Anywhere

ashanti082807.jpgBritney?s No Dog Beater
The pop star has been cleared of charges that she was responsible for breaking her dog’s tiny leg. Now…what about those kids and their rotting teeth? [Us Weekly]

Ashanti: Overweight and in Hiding
Apparently the singer has gained so much weight she refused to be photographed at an event in San Diego. Check her out looking svelte (right) in June 2007 – she must have done some serious eating since then. [NY Post]

Cameron?s Got Another New Man
I think I know who’s bringing sexy back, and it ain’t Justin. His ex-girlfriend is getting it on all over NYC, and this week she’s linked to Alias star Bradley Cooper. Put your back into it, Cam! [E Online]

Jessica Simpson?s New Singing Gig
The Texan recently burst into song at a Louisiana restaurant, performing an impromptu mini-concert. Apparently, she will work for food. [A Socialite's Life]

Fight with Pal Turned Owen Suicidal
Actor Owen Wilson’s rumored suicide attempt was apparently spurred on by a big battle with a close friend. Let’s hope he’s getting some help - and cutting some peeps out if his life. [NY Post]

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by (@katespencer)

Is Britney Spears Beatin’ Her Babies?

britney082707-copy.jpgSomeone hide the clipping shears cuz we smell a meltdown about to happen. Apparently Britney is being investigated for – duh duh duhhhhh – possible child abuse. We know she’s not the most perfect mom, but is feeding your kids soda and Cheetos illegal? A custody hearing about the kids was held this morning between Britney and Kevin’s lawyers, as well as a lawyer for the Los Angeles County counsel. TMZ also reports that, “We do not know the specifics of the allegations but we’re told the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is conducting an active investigation.”

Oh man. No wonder poor Brit wants to haul her ass to London. Though these pics of Britney smoking around her kids sure ain’t helping her win any Mom of the Year Awards. [TMZ. Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Monday: Paris Chops Her Hair Off; Britney Speeds and Pleads with Cops

paris_082707.jpgBrangelina: The Perfect Big Apple Family
The perfect Pitt-Jolie posse have taken NYC and the city’s parks and playgrounds by storm. They win “the coolest tourists” award for this week. [Just Jared]

Paris Lets Her Short Hair Hang
The heiress has chopped off her extensions and was spotted debuting her new Katie Holmes-like bob at her latest house party, where Kid Rock was a guest. Let’s hope she at least donated her unwanted locks. [DListed]

Is Madonna?s New Track a Rip-Off?
Madge’s new track supposedly sounds a lot like Britney’s “I’m a Slave 4 U,” which would make Madonna the only person in America still trying to copy the lost pop princess. [NY Post]

Winehouse: Caught with Crack Pipe?
Amy was apparently spotted getting high with a crack pipe in hand in the bathroom at the Chicago Lollapalooza show. Just her regular ol’ pre-show ritual, it seems. [NY Daily News]

Britney Pulled Over for Speeding
The starlet got a scolding by cops for speeding but got off without a ticket after using the old “the paparazzi were chasing me” excuse. It’s good to know that crazy celebs still get star treatment. [DListed]

by (@katespencer)

The Weekly Wrap Up: Lindsay’s Lucky, Hayden’s Hot, Flav is Back in Business

wrapup0824.jpg

by (@katespencer)

Justin Reminds Britney Who’s In Charge

jtmadge082307.jpgBritney’s ex may be teaming up with Madonna to one up Britney’s comeback at the VMAs. Apparently it’s just a sweet rumor right now, but Madonna is reportedly “interested,” according to an E! Online source. This coupling would surely outshine whatever creepy magic show Britney is planning on doing with Criss Angel. What would you rather see – Madonna and JT rocking the house or Criss Angel pulling Brit out of a hat as her new depressing song plays? Plotting a comeback is gonna to be a lot harder than Brit thought, especially since her peers spent the last few years building careers – not ruining them. [Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Britney’s New Song is Sadder Than Her Life

britney082307.jpgThere’s only one thing we enjoy more than Britney being crazy, and that’s hearing new Britney music! Thankfully we have BOTHnot today. On the crazy front, Lady Spears – who is still at home in California and not peeing her way across Europe – is apparently so desperate to keep her sons that she is thinking of fleeing to London, Madonna style. She was also spotted by Life&Style magazine out at a Hollywood night spot recently looking down and depressed, and when pressed by the mag’s spy about her mood she replied, “My babies are my life.”

Poor thing. Check out her new song that leaked today and you’ll get a sense of the weird, dark place she’s currently living in. Brit actually belts it out pretty hard, when not bizarrely reenacting a phone call with K-Fed. She also apparently loves sampling beats from music boxes. The last line is definitely the best – is she talking about the sun in the sky or the son(s) her ex is trying to take away from her?

Listen to Britney’s new sad slow jam HERE and tell us what you think! Sucktastic or comeback worthy? [Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Britney Bolts to Belgium

Weirdo!Britney’s apparently decided to head across the Atlantic to woo the Europeans with her adorable meltdowns. They’re probably a lot cooler with craziness than we Americans are. According to the latest cover of Star (see pic, left), Brit was plotting to head to France with her kids. While it appears that the kids are currently with K-Fed, Britney was allegedly spotted taking one of her signature piss breaks at a restaurant in Belgium wearing an ill-fitted wig. Maybe she is on her way to London to save Pete Doherty’s cats. K-Fed supposedly was worried that Brit would try to kidnap the kids and take them overseas. I’m sure he’s pretty relieved that she decided just to bring a couple of wigs instead. Bon Voyage! [Dlisted]

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