by (@katespencer)

Divorce Countdown: Kate Heigl & That Dude

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Katherine Heigl is so pretty and perfect and all that sweet stuff. She just got married to that kind of good-looking rocker dude and is now gushing about how pumped she is to have babies. But you know who doesn’t look so psyched? Her new husband. He looks like he’d rather be crammed into a hammock somewhere, strumming his guitar and guzzling a Corona as a couple of hot chicks swoon over his dark and stormy (and mascara-enhanced?) eyes. Katherine’s brought home an Emmy, snagged a raise on her hit show Grey’s Anatomy, and scored a hit movie (last summer’s Knocked Up) and now a serious chick flick in the past year. Her asking price per film has grown from $300,000 to a nice n’ easy $6 million! And you know she’s just waiting to get all ugly for some role and win an Oscar a la Charlize Theron – and score some sweet endorsement deals during her free time. All which leads us to believe that this cute couple isn’t gonna have time for baby-making, because they’ll be to busy breaking up after her star becomes too bright. Don’t believe me? Just ask Reese Witherspoon and Hilary Swank.

Check out more pics of Katherine and her hubby at the premiere of 27 Dresses below:

[All Images: Getty]

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While You Were Having a Life…

If you were too busy stuffing your face with junk to stuff your brain with gossip and entertainment news over the past few days, have no fear: we’ve rounded up the biggest pop-culture stories that happened over the long weekend. The following is all you need to know about what happened when you were on holiday or just too lazy to turn on the computer:

jay-z_roundup.jpgJay-Z Quit Def Jam – Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Jay-Z came to day, “Beyonc?, with your nose so bright…” Kidding! But Jay really did announce on the 24th that he’s leaving his post as president of Def Jam. There wasn’t much by way of explanation: in the vague wording of his official statement, he’s looking to “take on new challenges.” Bizarrely, he plans to keep recording for the label. If his history with retiring is any indication, expect him back in that leather seat and chomping on a cigar within a year’s time. [E! News]

Katherine Heigl Married – Bland led the bland as the world’s most inexplicable movie star met her singing, songwriting beau Josh Kelley at the aisle Sunday in Park City, Utah. And when they get divorced it will be just as uninteresting! [People]

Lindsay Lohan Turned Out To Be a Sex Addict - I knew she was too good in I Know Who Killed Me to be acting! [News of the World]

Michelle Rodriguez Spent Christmas in Jail – At least someone would have her over. [Us Weekly]

A Woman Was Arrested for Taking a Picture of R. Kelly in Court - And then he peed on her. [Yahoo!]

Will Smith Maybe Said Something Questionable About Hitler…? – On the goodness of human nature, Will Smith reportedly told a Scottish paper: “Even Hitler didn’t wake up going, ‘Let me do the most evil thing I can do today.’ I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was ‘good’. Stuff like that just needs reprogramming.” So, maybe it was foolish of him to attempt to get into Hitler’s brain in the first place, but whatever — he didn’t say that Hitler was good, he said that Hitler was deluded. The distinction was, apparently, lost on the Jewish Defense League who said that Will’s words “spit on the memory of every person murdered by the Nazis.” O RLY? The outcry caused Will’s rep to proclaim the allegations “a lie.” “It speaks to the dangerous power of an ignorant person with a pen.” So, wait, he didn’t say that, then? Sorry, I can’t hear anything over the Christmas carols and rustling of wrapping paper. [TMZ.com]

Britney Spazzed at the Paparazzi – For some, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. For others, it’s just business as usual. [TMZ.com]

[Image credit: Getty]