by (@katespencer)

Monday: Lindsay’s Locked Up and Lovin’ It

lindsay0917.jpgMadonna and Pals Invade Israel
The Kabbalah queen headed to Israel for the new year and brought along a slew of lame Hollywood pals. Rosie O’Donnell and the guy from Dawson’s Creek should not be allowed to ruin another country! [A Socialite's Life]

Lindsay: In Rehab for the Long Haul

The starlet’s committed to hangin’ in ‘hab for another 2-3 months. The food must be really damn good for her to want to stink around that long. [X17]

Britney Just Wants her Babies
Her lawyer claims that Britney just wants to be a mother to her two little boys. We’ll believe it when she closes her legs and starts acting like one. [People]

Paris : Having Kids is ?Retarded?
The heiress dispels rumors that she wants to adopt four blond babies, calling the myth “retarded.” Ah yes – people who talk like a dumb kid probably shouldn’t raise one – or four. [People]

Angelina?s Done With Drugs
Brad’s baby-mama claims that she’s done ‘em all (heroin included) and that pot made her feel the most crazy. Funny – we thought four kids would do that. [DListed]

by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: J. Lo Rocks A New Belly, MTV Still Loves Kanye

jenniferlopez0912.jpgLindsay: Back in Court
Even though she’s in rehab, LiLo can’t escape the law, as the actress is being forced back to court to deal with a 2005 car accident. It’s almost like she’s addicted to driving like an idiot. [E Online]

Pics: Is That a J. Lo Baby Bump?
The starlet looks like she’s got a tiny baby bulge behind that fancy dress (check out the pic!). Is there a little Lopez on the way? [Just Jared]

Ashlee’s Two Men Duke It Out
Simpson’s dad and boyfriend battled with a nightclub bodyguard who pushed the starlet. Sounds real chivalrous – but what was she doing hanging with her father? [NYDN]

Timberlake Loses Voice, Cancels Shows
Aw, poor Justin. All that hollerin’ he did at the VMAs has finally caught up with him. Guess you can only bring so much sexiness back before it starts to wreck you. [Us Weekly]

MTV Attempts Peace with Kanye

The network tried to make nice with the whiny star, who vowed never to work with MTV again. Just give the guy a couple moon men so he’ll shut the eff up. [People]

by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Justin’s Dinner Threesome, Jessica Does the Walk of Shame

jessicasimpson0911.jpgBrangelina?s Super Spoiled Babies
Little Maddox has started kindergarten at a posh NYC school, where he only speaks French and eats gourmet lunches. Oh la (b)la(gh). [TMZ]

JT Celebrates VMAs with Two Ladies
The award-winning hottie skipped the VMA after parties to dine with his mom and girlfriend Jessica Biel. Sigh. He woulda been a good influence on Britney. [People]

Lindsay Loves Her Dad Again
The pair’s reconciliation continues at her Utah rehab, where they picked roses and hugged for the cameras. Who knew the paparazzi would be a part of the healing? [X17]

Mary-Kate Olsen Grows Up on TV
Check out this video of the twin’s most recent televised role – as a God-loving pothead on the hit show Weeds. Wanna see her smoke joints and make out on camera? You got it dude! [Just Jared]

Jessica: Desperate for More Mayer
The sad divorcee was spotted leaving John Mayer’s apartment building yesterday morning. Her body may not be a wonderland, but it’s good enough for a one night stand. [Gawker]

by (@katespencer)

Friday: Mary-Kate Hasn’t Smiled in Years, Brad and Jen are BFF

marykateolsen2_0907.jpgMary-Kate Frowns for a Reason
The tiny twin hates getting her photo taken, so she rarely smiles. Spoken like a true billionaire brat. [E Online]

Lily Allen Gets Drunk and Booted
The Brit singer got herself kicked out the GQ Men of the Year Awards after getting hammered and blabbing during the show. She sounds seriously fun.? [A Socialite's Life]

Brad Claims He and Jen Are Friends
Brad says he and his ex still have a “deep friendship.” Who knew not speaking could make people that close? [People]

Lindsay and Dad Reunite at Rehab
The actress saw her dad for the first time in three years when he visited her at rehab in Utah. Their family therapy session must have been a blast! [X17]

Avril Lavigne Hates Her Haters
The pop-punk princess is still as sassy and annoying as her music, and calls people who hate her “losers.” That routine (and her outfits) is so 2002. [US Weekly]

by (@katespencer)

Lindsay Goes Broke from Buying Coke

lindsay090607.jpgWhoops! Apparently Lindsay Lohan wasn’t that rich, because girlfriend’s gone out and blown all her money and is now not allowed to spend a dime. A source says, “Dina must think Lohan is a serious addict, and she’s afraid if she gives her even $20, she’ll run out and buy drugs and booze.”

I guess Dina is smart, cuz that’s definitely where Lindsay’ll go – right to the corner. Linds is supposedly so desperate for cash that she went begging to Damon Dash and 50 Cent for some money. Lindsay and 50 Cent are pals? We had no idea. That’s weirder than him and Kanye getting along. Luckily both hip hop moguls are smart enough not to fork anything over, so some “music industry insider” passed her some cash. Lindsay’s thank you? “I’m good for it, I’ll make a huge comeback. I am, after all, the most famous person on the planet right now!” Nice. Her mom taught her class as well as money management skills. Unless Lindsay has another Mean Girls up her sleeve, that poor “insider” is totally getting screwed. It’s probably Paula Abdul - them drugged up crazy ladies gotta stick together, right? [A Socialite's Life. Image: Getty]

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