Britney?s New Album Reaches #1 Spot
You did it girl! Now if only some genius producers could make everything else in your life amazing too. [Us]

Owen Wilson?s Immodest Bathroom Break
Apparently the actor pees with the door open at events so no one thinks he’s inside snorting coke. Someone tell Lindsay Lohan this brilliant plan! [NYP]

Nick Cannon Crushing on Miss USA
The singer/actor dumped his fiancee and is trying to woo with the pageant winner by constantly sending her flowers, chocolates and balloons. Doesn’t he know that stalking isn’t sexy. [NYP]

Joel Madden Ready for Baby with Nicole
Aw cute, Joel’s so excited for his lil’ Richie that he’s printing tiny t-shirts for his kid. Maybe Nicole can borrow them from baby someday! [People]

Paris Getting Rich Doing Nothing
As usual, people are throwing millions at the dumb bombshell just to appear at their events. I’ll pay Paris to come to my party in a cave and tip her to stay forever. [DListed]

Paris Hilton Bails on Charity Trip
Big surprise – Paris would rather go shopping than go to Rwanda. The entire African continent is breathing one giant sigh of relief. [People]

Nicole Richie Bashes Hilary Duff
Even moms-to-be like to be catty – the bigger the belly, the bigger the b*tch. [DListed]

Owen Wilson Finally Speaks
The troubled actor is interviewed by director pal Wes Anderson in a chat to be published tonight on Myspace. Yay? [Us]

Brit?s Hit-and-Run Charges Disappear
She’s gonna wash shave those charges right out of her hair! Too bad she’s still in trouble for that whole driving without a license stupidity. [NYDN]

Lindsay Loves Hotel Living
LiLo holes up in a new hotel – because houses are so 2006. Pssst, Linds – so are leggings! [NYP]

Justin Finally Blabs About Britney
On yesterday’s Oprah, JT reveals that he’ll always have love for the messed up star, but doesn’t know how she ended up in the rough spot she’s in today. How about millions of dollars and Cheetos? [Us Weekly]

Kate Moss Sucks at Fashion
The model went out on the town and came home so messed up that her dress was torn and reconstructed. She’s the British Britney – just with a better accent. [Mollygood]

Charlie Sheen Battles Ex for Kids
The actor and his ex Denise Richards just can’t control themselves when it comes to talking trash and filing legal complaints concerning their kids. For the sake of your children – shut the eff up. [DLsited]

Matt McConaughey Covers for Owen
The stable hunk is set to replace the less stable hunk in the movie “Tropic Thunder.” It’s so nice when bros got each others backs. [Variety]

Lindsay Lohan Penning Memoir?
LiLo may be hitting up the typewriter to detail all the crazy sh*t she’s done for your reading pleasure. Sounds like perfect beach bitch reading! [I'm Not Obsessed]

Brit?s Ex-Manager Feels K-Fed’s Wrath
Larry Rudolph was in hiding for weeks but there’s no stopping the K-Fed subpoena machine. Britney’s former manager will be forced to dish the dirt on the star in court – think she fed him booze to help him fall asleep too? [Us Weekly]

Owen?s Lawyer Denies Pill Popping
The actor’s counsel admits that Wilson slit his wrist in a suicide attempt but says no pills were ingested. It doesn’t really matter what he did or didn’t do – it’s still all just really sad. [WWTDD]

Rihanna Keeps New Love on the DL
The sexy singer tries to play it cool about her new man, saying “we are just friends.” Whatever – he’ll be under her umbrella soon enough. [DListed]

Gwen?s Got the Hot Mom Look Down
The Harajuku girl shows off her goods while vacationing with her fam in Hawaii. Think Kingston will be embarrassed when he realizes his mom’s a MILF? [WWTDD]

Pics: Angelina: From Iraq to Family Time
There’s a reason she stays so skinny – she just jets around and never eats. She’s either a super mom or super crazy. [Just Jared]

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Pics: J. Lo Skanks It Up In New Video
It’s kind of confusing how Jennifer Lopez tries to be all glamorous in public but then her music videos are bootylicious ho-downs. Which block are you from, J.Lo? [Mollygood]

Courtney Love Tried to Save Owen?
The singer claims she tried to warn Owen about his druggie friends. How surprisingly normal of her! [Us Weekly]

Paris In Vegas Charitably Clubbing
The former jailbird danced up a sexy storm in Sin City this week for a good cause – the amusement of everyone watching her. [X17]

The Lohans’ Crazy Public Fight
Lindsay’s parents are now battling it out with each other via gossip blogs. Just reading about their BS makes me want to go to rehab.? [Perez Hilton]

Brit Wants a ?Shocking? Comeback
The sad singer wants to blow our minds with her VMA performance. How about cleaning up, putting on some pants, and acting like an adult? That would shock the s**t out of all of us. [US Weekly]

Britney?s No Dog Beater
The pop star has been cleared of charges that she was responsible for breaking her dog’s tiny leg. Now…what about those kids and their rotting teeth? [Us Weekly]

Ashanti: Overweight and in Hiding
Apparently the singer has gained so much weight she refused to be photographed at an event in San Diego. Check her out looking svelte (right) in June 2007 – she must have done some serious eating since then. [NY Post]

Cameron?s Got Another New Man
I think I know who’s bringing sexy back, and it ain’t Justin. His ex-girlfriend is getting it on all over NYC, and this week she’s linked to Alias star Bradley Cooper. Put your back into it, Cam! [E Online]

Jessica Simpson?s New Singing Gig
The Texan recently burst into song at a Louisiana restaurant, performing an impromptu mini-concert. Apparently, she will work for food. [A Socialite's Life]

Fight with Pal Turned Owen Suicidal
Actor Owen Wilson’s rumored suicide attempt was apparently spurred on by a big battle with a close friend. Let’s hope he’s getting some help - and cutting some peeps out if his life. [NY Post]

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