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Their Bodies Are Wonderlands: Jess Rubs John’s Crotch While Perez Sticks His Tongue Down Mayer’s Throat?

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Menage a yuck
? Perez Hilton says that John Mayer is “bi” (we thought he was “buy” – check his Rolex fixation). The guy whose site had the new Madonna video up for an hour or so yesterday told Ryan Seacrest that “He kissed me, and I kissed him back. It was on the mouth with tongue.” The pear-shaped blogger said it happened in a New York club last year, and that the guitarist’s then-paramour Jessica Simpson, started working her honey’s crotch while Hilton smooched away.

Whether fact or fiction, it’s fun. Pop culture needs a good group grope tale once in awhile. If you could add one more horny Hollywood character to this alleged event, who would it be?

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MC Perez’s Rap: VajayjayZ?

Perez Hilton and VH1?s New York.One quick wit and a microphone. We know that Perez Hilton slings mud in celebville, gets all rock critic about musical acts he adores, and loves himself some beats. But did you know he was a microphone fiend?

After drinking some funky cold medina, the blue-haired Queen decided to do the theme song to his upcoming 07 wrap-up show. That’s the place where he’s handing out awards in such categories as “Best Africa Spokeswhore” and “Hottest MILF,” so the tune references vajayjay, lady lumps, Xtina, trainwrecks, ankle bracelets, and the rest of the year’s BS.

Click the icon to listen, and rap along yourself: audio.gif