The Sexy Evolution of Jason Sudeikis

The universe was good to this man.

Jason Sudeikis is like the barista I see every morning at Starbucks—he’s cute, don’t get me wrong, but nothing to write home about. One day, though, I walked in and—*bam*—a purebred fornication maestro asked me if I wanted my Passion Tea Lemonade sweetened. Whoa, whoa, whoa! How did this happen? When did Barista Ben go from a lay-in-my-bosom cutie to Inventor of the Orgasm?

Such is the case with Mr. Sudeikis. He’s always been adorable, lovable, and funny as hell. But somewhere between Olivia Wilde Avenue and Horrible Bosses Street, he became sexy with a capital triple X. Maybe it was the subtle weight loss or his newfound love for perfectly-tailored suits, but Jason is no longer the Saturday Night Live teddy bear who made you giggly and warm inside. Now, he makes you feel, erm, other things.

These 15 photos show exactly what we’re talking about. If Jason isn’t your new bae already, this gallery will seal the deal. Gird your loins.

  • 1 2006
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    Serving pure chemistry-teacher-who-is-maybe-cute realness.

  • 2 2006
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    The swooped hairstyle is a bold, 25-percent-arousing choice. (But we’re still not totally there yet.)

  • 3 2008
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    Facial hair? Yes. Abercrombie & Fitch knit sweater? So much nope.

  • 4 2008
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    Here, Jason seems to be refining his mountain man/hipster aesthetic. (The arousal level is up to 41 percent at this point.)

  • 5 2008
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    And then he throws us for a loop with a clean-shaven face. But it surprisingly works.

  • 6 2009
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    Jason embraces tighter-fitting clothes here, and our libidos are thankful. (We’re almost there, folks!)

  • 7 2010
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    Alas, tailored suits make their grand, impregnating appearance. However, these v. questionable sneakers and jeans tell us the sexy train isn’t fully at the station.

  • 8 2010
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    You know J’s hot factor is improving when he looks better in this Disney World family vacation-ass outfit than his totally acceptable suits from earlier.

  • 9 2010
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    Jason Bond makes a full-throttle debut in this picture. Shake us up, please.

  • 10 2011
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    Yup, we’re in labor. 2011 marked the year Jason embraced the DGAF scruffy dad look. And cheers to that. (Also, it seems he dropped a few lbs. Not necessary, but a welcome improvement.)

  • 11 2011
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    Who can wear a suit better than this man, really?

  • 12 2011
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    We told you 2011 was the year everything changed. By August, when this photo was taken, Jason was simply perfecting his newfound suaveness.

  • 13 2012
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    Dapper AF. (Derpy expression and all.)

  • 14 2014
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    This is where it all comes together. The scruffiness. The perfectly-appointed duds. Olivia Wilde. Jason, you’ve officially reached dreamboat status. (Arousal level? 98 percent.)

  • 15 2015
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    And now it’s a perfect 100. Bless you, sweet prince. Bless you.