8 Killer American Horror Story: Hotel Cameos That Need to Happen

We can dream, right?

Now that American Horror Story: Hotel is underway, we’ve finally gotten acquainted with some of the antics at the Hotel Cortez. Lady Gaga, as expected, is literally slaying as The Countess. In between the bloody orgies, frightening flashbacks and Kathy Bates, we were left hoping for a few certain guest check-ins. While the cast is already nearly as star studded as it can get, we have a few ideas for how to make this season’s stay at Hotel Cortez even more legendary. From pop stars who should join Gaga, to television crossovers that would make our GD life, this dream roster needs to land in the hands of Ryan Murphy stat.

  • 1 Rihanna
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    RiRi slays all obstacles in her path, evident in the “Bitch Better Have My Money” video. The Barbados singer has no patience for bullshit and would check into the Hotel Cortez as a madame collecting her debts. Once she realizes that her client from 20 years ago is none other than Donovan (Matt Bomer), she develops a deep-rooted rivalry with Iris (Kathy Bates).

  • 2 Idris Elba
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    It was hard to find a photo of Idris Elba where he didn’t look charming as hell, just so we’re clear. Using his piercing eyes to his advantage, Elba joins the series by having an affair with Alex (Chloë Sevigny). Like most rational humans, she would fall for his charm and end up having to break the news to her husband. Where do they choose to have their romantic rendezvous? The famed Cortez, of course.

  • 3 Bradley Cooper
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    Since we’re still on a kick of Cooper speaking fluent french we see him checking in with Iris as a French dignitary opting out of a five-star hotel in favor of that will allow him to get a fix for all his vices…whatever they may be.

  • 4 Miley Cyrus
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    While we’re on this music roll, we might as well add a third popstar to this AHS: Hotel dream sequence. Miley Cyrus would make her triumphant return to TV as a stoner popstar (Karen) who is looking for her lost dog in the Hotel and finds that he’s been devoured by The Countess (Gaga). Sure, that might mirror reality a bit too hard but if Cyrus can write an album about her dead petz, she can probably bring that inspiration to a TV guest spot.

  • 5 Meagan Good
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    The Think Like a Man star might be a little busy with her role on The Minority Report but we would love to see her check-in for a brief cameo. We see Good portraying a friend of Sally (Sarah Paulson) who tends to the children that the Countess has lured to the hotel.

  • 6 Cara Delevingne
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    After her role in this summer’s Paper Towns, Delevingne is ready to continue her acting career (especially since she’s quit modeling) with a spot on TV’s most thrilling show. As Tristan Duffy’s (Finn Wittrock) lover, Delevingne comes to the hotel after he’s gone missing. Before she has a chance to discover what is really happening, she checks in room 64 and shares his fate.

  • 7 Kevin Spacey
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    As devout followers of House of Cards we envision a world where President Frank Underwood finds his way to the California hotel. Is there possibility for a crossover? Probably not, but President Underwood may find his way to California to seek revenge on Jackie Sharp. Since the hotel that gave inspiration to the Cortez was the operating base for a variety of serial killers and FU himself is just a kill or two shy from becoming one…we think he would fit right in.

  • 8 Jessica Lange
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    For the first time since the shows inception, Lange will not be making an appearance on American Horror Story. While she won’t be appearing in any role-proper, we certainly would be down for a little cameo action from Miss Supreme badass herself. Yes, Fiona Goode is back and she’s ready to goddamn rumble. Read it and weep Gaga.

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