By Chris Rosa (@chrisrosa92) and Alexa Tietjen (@hernameislex)
Watching Fox’s Scream Queens can be overwhelming given its high volume of vomit-inducing death scenes. Every week, at least one preppy, clueless THOT gets the axe—usually from the cloaked, mysterious and oddly sexy Red Devil. And these aren’t your average, run-of-the-mill murders. Poisonous spray tans! Intestinal freezes! Nail gun shenanigans! It’s all so terrifying and life-giving.
To help keep these bloody spats straight in your head, we’ve compiled a handy-dandy encyclopedia of every main character death (so far) on Scream Queens. (Minor characters and off-screen deaths do not count.) Per Queen Chanel Oberlin’s (Emma Roberts) request, we’ve rated them using her favorite food: cotton balls. (It’s the snack du jour, obvs! Rating is from 1 to 5.) Class is in session, idiot hookers.
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1 Gigi Caldwell, Episode 10, “Thanksgiving”
FoxCause of death: Head severed (probably by the Red Devil) Scream level: 0 cotton balls
Gore level: 0 cotton balls–but weren’t you grossed out when you saw her head on that platter instead of a turkey?!
Chance of coming back: 100%—hard to come back from that
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2 Hester/Neckbrace, Episode 9, “Ghost Stories”
FoxCause of death: Pushed down the stairs by Chanel Scream level: 2 cotton balls
Gore level: 1 cotton ball
Chance of coming back: 100%—we don’t think she is dead!
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3 Boone Clemens, Episode 9, “Ghost Stories”
FoxCause of death: Stabbed in the chest by the second Red Devil, revealed to be his sibling Scream level: 0 cotton balls (He was caught by surprise.)
Gore level: 1 cotton ball
Chance of coming back: 98%—we can’t trust whenever this dude “dies!”
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4 Earl Grey, Episode 9, “Ghost Stories”
FoxCause of death: Stabbed in the back by the Red Devil, revealed to be Boone (Nick Jonas) Scream level: 1 cotton ball (He winced a little; it was sad!)
Gore level: 0 cotton balls, but we’re sad to see his hot self go
Chance of coming back: 2%—his death wasn’t intense; maybe he’ll join Boone?!
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5 Jennifer/candle vlogger, Episode 8, “Mommie Dearest”
FoxCause of death: Stabbed in the head with a screwdriver by the Red Devil Scream level: 0 cotton balls (It all happened so fast!)
Gore level: 2 cotton balls…she was preserved in a wax monument
Chance of coming back: 0%, but her videos will live on forever
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6 Steven Munsch, Episode 7, “Beware of Young Girls”
FoxCause of death: Body dismembered (with his head dropped in a fish tank) by Dean Munsch Scream level: 0 cotton balls
Gore level: 1.5 cotton balls; we never see him get torn apart, just the fishy aftermath
Chance of coming back: 0%, how could he?!
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7 Roger, Episode 6, “Seven Minutes in Hell”
Cause of death: Shot in the head with a nail gun by the Red Devil Scream level: 0 cotton balls, but Chanel No. 5 did the screaming for him
Gore level: 0.5 cotton balls
Chance of coming back: 0%, he served no purpose other than to do awkward sexual things with Chanel No. 5
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8 Sam (Predatory Lez), Episode 6, “Seven Minutes in Hell”
Cause of death: Suffocated by the Red Devil Scream level: 0 cotton balls (She literally didn’t scream.)
Gore level: 0.5 cotton balls, negative dressing
Chance of coming back: 0%, seeing as how she could spill the tea about who the Red Devil is
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9 Caulfield Mount Herman, Episode 6, “Seven Minutes in Hell”
Cause of death: Axed in the stomach by the Red Devil Scream level: 1 cotton ball, no dressing
Gore level: 3.5 cotton balls, light dressing
Chance of coming back: 0% (His head was chopped off, idiot hookers.)
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10 Dodger, Episode 5, “Pumpkin Patch”
Cause of death: Intestines ripped open with hedge clippers by the Red Devil; left to freeze in maze Scream level: 5 cotton balls, fattening dressing
Gore level: 5 cotton balls, drenched
Chance of coming back: 0% (There’s really no coming back from having your intestines ripped open.)
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11 Mandy Greenwell, Episode 4, “Haunted House”
Cause of death: Stabbed in her trailer by the Red Devil Scream level: 3 cotton balls
Gore level: 1.5 cotton balls (We don’t see it, but it’s implied.)
Chance of coming back: 40% (As one of the OG sorority members, she has information we might need later.)
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12 Aaron Cohen (Coney the Cone), Episode 3, “Chainsaw”
Cause of death: Head sawed off with a chainsaw by the Red Devil Scream level: 2.5 cotton balls (It was more of a wince.)
Gore level: 4 cotton balls (Blood splattered over his jolly Coney the Cone costume.)
Chance of coming back: 0%
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13 Shondell Washington, Episode 2, “Hell Week”
Cause of death: Stabbed by the Red Devil while asleep in her car Scream level: 0 cotton balls (She was asleep.)
Gore level: 0 cotton balls (We don’t see the stabbing take place.)
Chance of coming back: 0% (May she rest in peace with her Burger Shack.)
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14 Tiffany DeSalle (Deaf Taylor Swift), Episode 1, “Pilot”
Cause of death: Head mowed off with a tractor by the Red Devil Scream level: 2 cotton balls (Ironically, we couldn’t hear Deaf Taylor Swift scream, but she looked like she did.)
Gore level: 4 cotton balls, light dressing
Chance of coming back: None (Her head was mowed off!)
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15 Sonya Herfmann, a.k.a. Chanel No. 2, Episode 1, “Pilot”
Cause of death: Stabbed by the Red Devil Scream level: 1.5 cotton balls, mild dressing (It was mostly just heavy breathing.)
Gore level: 1 cotton ball
Chance of coming back: 99% (She’s still posting to Instagram, DUH.)
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16 Ms. Agatha Bean, Episode 1, “Pilot”
Cause of death: Face burned off in deep fryer by HBIC Chanel Oberlin Scream level: 2.5 cotton balls
Gore level: 4.5 drenched cotton balls
Chance of coming back: 65% (Her dead body was found in the haunted house, but we have a sneaking suspicion she’s still out there.)
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17 Melanie, Episode 1, “Pilot”
Cause of death: Spray tanning gone wrong Scream level: 5 cotton balls
Gore level: 5 cotton balls (Low-key the grossest death that’s happened in the history of TV.)
Chance of coming back: 0% (Her skin melted off.)
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18 Sophia, Episode 1, “Pilot”
Cause of death: Childbirth, lack of Gatorade, failure to dance to TLC’s “Waterfalls” Scream level: 0 cotton balls
Gore level: 5 cotton balls (You can literally see the umbilical cord.)
Chance of coming back: 0%, but wouldn’t that be creepy?
