The potential existence of the Illuminati is one of the most intriguing things today. The idea that the world’s political, social and financial elite are plotting a New World Order that no one (except for them) is privy to is mind-boggling, and frankly, it’s absolutely terrifying.
If the Illuminati is real, it has undoubtedly infiltrated pop culture. You’ve more likely than not been consuming Illuminati references you’re entire life via songs, music videos, GOP debates, and you probably didn’t even know. How freaking scary is that? I’m scared for you. Luckily, hard-hitting journalism sites like The Vigilant Citizen and Illuminati Watcher have pretty much all that you need to know about this stuff. Educate yourself. Get on your shit. Before it’s too late.
Who is in the Illuminati, you ask? The answer to that is so obviously a secret. If people knew who was in the Illuminati, we would actually know that it was real. The Internet does speculate as to who is in it, though, and we compiled some of the Internet’s bulletproof theories as to why artists like Lady Gaga, Kanye West and Britney Spears are almost definitely Illuminati. We then determined the likeliness of these theories holding true using a scale of one to five all-seeing eyes. If you don’t know what an all-seeing eye is, what are you even doing?
Hit the flipbook to find out who the Internet thinks is definitely Illuminati. So scared.
Damning evidence: Being signed to Roc Nation, her supposed obsession with torture as seen in the visuals for “Bitch Better Have My Money,” her “S&M” video in which she jokes about being the Princess of the Illuminati
Likelihood of being a member: 3 all-seeing eyes; The evidence is compelling, but we’re not entirely sold.
Damning evidence: Her 2015 Grammy Awards matador-inspired performance, the fact that she takes being called a member of the Illuminati as a compliment, her song “Illuminati,” when she told Rolling Stone that she knows who the “real Illuminati are”
Likelihood of being a member: 5 all-seeing eyes; She’s a Tidal investor, people. Dead giveaway.
Damning evidence: All of the Illuminati references in the video for “Style” and “Bad Blood,” the theory that the Kanye interruption at the 2009 VMAs was her initiation (new members have to first be embarrassed in front of their peers)
Likelihood of being a member: 0.5 all-seeing eyes; TSwift probably wants you to think she’s Illuminati, but we’re not buying it.
Damning evidence: The symbolism in her “We Can’t Stop” video, the correlation between the number 23’s significance to the Illuminati and Miley Cyrus’ many connections to the number 23
Likelihood of being a member: 2 all-seeing eyes; It’s possible, but it’s also possible that this is the Internet’s solution for why she’s always getting naked.
Damning evidence: This obviously factual Reductress article claiming that she’s a member, this video of her giving off all kinds of Illuminati vibes, her marriage to Jay Z, the third ward hand gestures that are still quite possibly Illuminati signs
Likelihood of being a member: 5 all-seeing eyes; She’s the Queen, like, of everything—real or not. Illuminati included.
Damning evidence: Her signature hand-near-eye pose that is a potential all-seeing eye reference, the idea that her name is code for mind-control, the blatant Illuminati symbolism in her music videos
Likelihood of being a member: 4 all-seeing eyes; As the investigative journalism mavericks over at Vigilant Citizen wrote, “Lady is Gaga for the all-seeing eye.”
Damning evidence: This dissection of his potential mass satanic sacrifice video for “3 a.m.”, this four-page thread on the possibility of him being an Illuminati “slave” trying to break free, the idea that he “sold his soul” to become famous, as found in the lyrics for “My Darling”
Likelihood of being a member: 2 all-seeing eyes; Eh, maybe. Would that mean that Dre is involved, too?
Damning evidence: The belief that he is actually a vampire, the Illuminati symbolism in the videos for “Marilyn Monroe” and “Happy”
Likelihood of being a member: 0.25 all-seeing eyes; Pharrell just ages well, people. He’s not a vampire (and probably not Illuminati).
Damning evidence: The idea that her Madonna kiss was really Madonna initiating her into the Illuminati, the symbolism in “I Wanna Go,” this disturbing video suggesting that she’s been subject to mind control
Likelihood of being a member: 3.5 all-seeing eyes; BritBrit, you just say the word and we will come save you at your local Starbucks.
Damning evidence: His long term friendship with Jay Z, the theories that the artwork for his upcoming album is an Illuminati reference, his Paper Magazine “cover up” essay that attempted to shut down the Illuminati rumors
Likelihood of being a member: 4 all-seeing eyes; Wait, is Kim Kardashian Illuminati, too? God. They’re everywhere!