Has this week felt weird to you? Have you stepped in gum more than usual? Did you trip walking into your office yesterday–even though you wore flats? Don’t worry, we feel the weirdness, too. But it has nothing to do with you. There is no bad karma in the air. The reason is simple: celebrity witchcraft.
Something is brewing over in Hollywood, and it’s chock-full of dark magic. The spells A-listers are casting have thrown off everyone’s energy, hence your current gum-in-shoe problem. These are the nine witchiest pop culture moments of the week. Once you read them, every s–ty thing that happened to you on Monday will make sense. The answer is always–without fail–witches.
Becky, with the good hair Bey-witched?Getty Images
Blue Magic Calms the Paparazzi
And Blue Ivy hexed the paparazzi the same evening. The 4-year-old had to quickly gather the out of control paps with an act right spell.
Pushing Through Witchcraft FabGetty Images
Jamie Lee Curtis looked like Maleficent and the Wicked Witch of the West’s lovechild at the Warcraft premiere on Monday (June 6).
We Were Pretty Much Spellbound by This Song
A Kylie Minogue song called “Voodoo” leaked online, where she talks about casting spells, the spirit world and “witchery.”
Fairy Tale Magic
Rebel Wilson performed as Ursula in The Hollywood Bowl’s live-action Little Mermaid concert.
The Olsen coven all showed up to take this photo.
Wizard Gone Wild
During the infamous “F-ck you and the kids” incident, Gilbert Arenas talks about demons in his recent Instagram rant aimed at his ex Laura Goven. It is no coincidence that Arenas played most of his NBA career with the Washington Wizards.
Woke WitchGetty Images
Megan Fox says she is ” consumed by these deep mysteries that exist on our planet that can’t be explained today by science,” according to her interview with the L.A. Times. She also thinks people are “brainwashed” by the media they consume. What a wise witch.
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Bobby Brown said he fornicated with a ghost.
The Hexing of Brock Turner
A witch organized a hex on the Stanford rapist Brock Turner. And it opened with, “Brock Allen Turner we hex you. You will be impotent.” Thank God.
A Body Transformation That is Scary AF
J.K. Simmons somehow turned into a werewolf with most jacked arms you’ll ever see.