Kid Rock Will Be Permanently Sad Now That South Carolina Took Down The Confederate Flag
It was a historic day in South Carolina. After more than 54 years of waving proudly, the Confederate flag was removed from the state's capital grounds. Somewhere right now, Kid Rock is crying feverishly into a bucket of fried chicken.
Following the tragic shooting of nine black parishioners in a Charleston church, the flag has been the subject of a polarizing debate: is it a symbol of racism or Southern pride? Kid Rock simply sees it as the perfect coozie pattern for his Busch Light can, and — for that reason — it is vital.
The Associated Press reports the crowds gathered in Columbia, South Carolina chanted "USA" and "hey, hey, hey goodbye" as the flag was lowered from the Statehouse. While Kid Rock wasn't there, we're confident he wrapped himself burrito-style in a Confederate flag and hummed "All Summer Long" nervously as this was happening.
Opponents to the flag were also heard shouting "take it down" prior to today's removal ceremony. Kid Rock burped the ABCs after drinking a 12-pack of Bud Light, which is Confederate flag lingo for "leave it up."
Before the Charleston shootings, South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley supported the Confederate flag, according to the AP. Despite recent events, Kid Rock still stans hard for the flag and is no doubt planning a line of leather Confederate underwear and hats as we speak.
President Barack Obama took to Twitter after the ceremony to praise South Carolina for finally removing the flag.
Here is one of Kid Rock's most recent tweets — again, social media speak for "Confederate flag is bae."
This historical South Carolina moment comes at the same time the Detroit chapter of Al Sharpton’s National Action Network is protesting Kid Rock's use of the Confederate flag in concert. According to Entertainment Weekly, National Action Network Political Director Sam Riddle said, “How in the hell can Kid Rock represent Detroit and wave that flag just generating millions and millions in ticket sales – a flag that represents genocide to most of Detroit?”
Kid Rock took the time to thoughtfully respond to Sam's assertions, outlining his exact reasoning for using the Confederate flag in his performances. “Please tell the people who are protesting to kiss my ass," he said in a statement to Fox News.
He rests his case.