It pays to be a part of the family. Kanye West, who will be performing at the 2013 Video Music Awards this weekend, adapted himself for the daytime television audience today–smiling, laughing, even altering his voice to a slightly higher-pitch as not to scare those who haven’t had their coffee yet–and puzzled all who enjoy the Sad Kanye meme or read his epic New York Times profile back in June. In his first television interview since becoming a father, Kanye joked around with his potential mother-in-law (“Please don’t call me soft as a rapper”) and fielded psychological analysis from the woman who has made a name and career for herself by putting her children in front of a camera.
At times it was sweet–Baby North’s cheeks are definitely ones I want to squeeze–and at times it was uncomfortable, particularly when Kris tried extra hard to prove that she is close with her daughter’s boyfriend, going so far as to ask him what it’s like to live in her chaotic household. Tread carefully, Ye! Still, the hour-long chat proved to be quite insightful. Here’s what we learned about Steve Jobs’ biggest fan.
1. Kim and Kanye haven’t tried to get paid for photos of Baby North.
Despite what you may have heard–or the fashionistas at Vogue want you to believe–Kanye wasn’t interested in having North land on the cover of weeklies. Instead, he thought that revealing a picture of his baby girl on “her grandmother’s season finale” would be really neat. Awww. Wait, who are you calling a grandmother?
2. Since North was born, Kanye has developed his own set of daddy issues.
There was a lot of discussion about what it means to be a father. Kanye was very complimentary of his own dad (whom Kris called “handsome”) but still has his own concerns about his newest job. Many new fathers–including Prince William–are often left mystified by that confusing mechanism called a car seat, and Kanye still wakes up at 3 am in cold sweats about whether or not he can properly install North’s most important accessory.
3. He’s the only man who knows how to properly pick out a pair of shoes for a woman.
“I’m definitely romantic because I’m an artist,” Kanye said. “I like to sweep someone off their feet.”
And if that special someone is lucky, he’ll fly him or her to Rimini, Italy and have Giuseppe Zanotti make them a pair himself “from scratch.” Perks.
4. He’s a Star Wars fan.
And like Ross Gellar from Friends, Princess Leia is his dream girl (hence Kim’s getup in Yeezy’s one-time pitch for a sketch television show).
5. He doesn’t necessarily regret his VMA WTF moment with Taylor Swift, but he doesn’t want North to go through the same thing.
And he’s not talking about drinking a bottle of Courvoisier on a red carpet–although that’s likely not found on mommy blogs, either. Also, he considers himself a “rock star.”
6. He has really, really wanted to be a part of Kim’s family for a long, long time.
“Unbeknownst to [Kris],” Kanye has been Photoshopping himself into the annual Kardashian Khristmas Kard (sent to family and business associates) for years. “I’m not that good at Photoshop,” he clarified, after seeing the final product Kim graciously allowed her mom to share on national television. Good news, Ye: now that you’ve given Kris a granddaughter, you’ll be a welcomed addition to the 2013 holiday photo.
7. He’s a lover of vintage trends.
“It’s important that I walk and raise my family with Christian values,” Kanye said after showing off the simple wristband emblazoned with “W.W.J.D.” (What Would Jesus Do?), given to him by Rob Kardashian. Yes, but did he ALSO get a pair of Arthur George socks?
8. He had a crush on Kim long before he started dating Amber Rose.
Kanye had trouble recalling the exact moment he first met Kim (it’s a toss-up) but it was definitely back when she was working as Brandy’s assistant, either during studio time (“She brought us in something to drink… something you can’t drink on daytime TV”) or during the video shoot for “Talk About Our Love” in 2004. The sweetest detail of the awkward flirtation I’m picturing in my head: Kanye’s butchering of Kim’s last name. Can you believe there was a time when people didn’t know how to properly pronounce “Kardashian”?
9. His favorite word is “joy.”
“She’s my joy and she brought my new joy into the world and there’s no paparazzi and there’s no blog comment that’s going to take that joy from me,” Kanye said during his initial gushing about his girlfriend. 30 minutes he was singing a verse from “Joy To The World,” because, Friday?
10. He lived in China for a year in fifth grade.
“That’s really… an amazing fact,” Kris said, after bragging that her daughter’s baby daddy can speak Chinese. All jokes aside, that is pretty cool. Chinese verse on the next album, please!
Now that we’ve seen Baby North, do you feel differently about Kanye? Does he have a future in daytime television? Most importantly, does Kris Jenner’s show have a chance at getting picked up? Let us know you’re thoughts in the comments below.