Modern Love: A Victorious Kanye West Wants To Dip Kim Kardashian’s Ass In Gold

Let the record state that Ray J may have hit it first, but Kanye West won. At least that’s what he’s claiming in his latest verse.

Yeezus hasn’t been shy about incorporating fiance Kim Kardashian into his rhymes. First there was “Cold,” which confirmed the longtime friends were officially dating, as well as Yeezy’s desire to threaten Kris Humphries with unemployment. Then came “Clique,” whose “my girl a superstar all from a home movie” line not only glorified Kardashian’s humble sex tape beginnings, but caused us to reevalute our definition of celebrity in the 21st Century. On Future’s “I Won,” Yeezy is at it again, comparing his future wife to a trophy, with a behind he can’t wait to dip in gold.

If you’re comfortable with comparing romantic partners to shiny material objects, then it’s all very complimentary. Baby North is the “angel” in her ultrasound, and the $8 million rock on her ring finger the adorable “glacier” on her little hand. (Remember, no body part is as big as that ass.) And it looks like we weren’t the only ones keeping track of Kim’s past penchant for dating athletes: “I made it over N.B.A., N.F.L. players, so every time I score it’s like the Super Bowl.” This, plus admitting that he used to Photoshop himself into the Kardashian family Christmas card, and we starting to think Yeezy is a little needy. Because we know Kris Jenner is always keeping score, Kanye is sure to be complimentary of all the Kardashian women: “You could look at Kylie, Kendall, Kourtney, and Khloe, all your mama ever made was trophies, right?” Why thank you, Kanye! That’s almost as nice as her daytime show not getting canceled and Anna Wintour asking her to be on the cover of Vogue instead. Almost.

Only time will tell whether or not “I wanna dip that ass in gold” is regarded as one of the most romantic lines in hip-hop or the most cringeworthy. We’re banking on the latter. To see how this matches up against some of the least romantic lyrics from Yeezy, Akon and The Police, check out the gallery below.

  • da

  • Joan-Jett-and-The-Blackhearts-I-hate-myself-for-loving-you

  • Camron-Hey-Ma

  • bspringsteen615x462

  • Rihanna-Whats_My_Name-feat-Drake-FanMade1-500×500

  • The_Turtles-Elenore

  • Eddie+Murphy+-+Put+Your+Mouth+On+Me+-+7’+RECORD-502779

  • Front-Cover-Supertramp

  • [AllCDCovers]_dave_matthews_band_crash_2005_retail_cd-front

    _dave_matthews_band_crash_2005_retail_cd-front” alt=”[AllCDCovers]_dave_matthews_band_crash_2005_retail_cd-front”]

  • bsk3366f

  • Robin-Thicke-Blurred-Lines-2013-1500×1500

  • img_289441_20220355_0

  • 6241985476_b4541ff053_o

  • 81FUPTLXwSL._SL1500_

  • small-faces-fr16136865

  • Smack_My_Bitch_Up

  • PoliceEveryBreathYouTakeSingles

  • akon-wanna-love-you-ft-snoop-dogg-660023709

  • nickelback-here-and-now

  • e3287718b749ddddc5610c0e494571cf

  • MUDD562

  • len_barry-like_a_baby

  • The_Bad_Touch_Bloodhound

  • Kanye-West-Runaway-ft.-Pusha-T31

  • paul-anka-youre-having-my-baby

[Photo Credit: Splash News]