Did you make it through Super Bowl XLVIII in its entirety, or did you take a long winter’s nap until Prince appeared on New Girl? What was expected to be a high-scoring game between the NFL’s two best teams was a full-on rout, with the Seattle Seahawks (and Macklemore!) emerging victorious. There may not have been much competition after the botched snap on the opening drive, but this kind of uneventful game allows for more time to think about commercials, celebrity appearances and social media weirdness.
Because at least one person will ask you if you watched the big game, and you always want to sound informed, check out the 10 non-sports related topics we can’t stop thinking about this morning.
Joe Namath’s Fur CoatSince the game was held in New York Jets territory, the legendary quarterback topped his embarrassing Suzy Kolber appearance with a “Thrift Shop”-esque fur coat. He also flubbed the opening coin toss and elicited more than a few Macklemore comparisons throughout the night. Broadway Joe, everybody!
David Beckham’s Underwear
As our investment in the game began to wane, programmers threw us a bone in the form of beautiful Becks and his teeny-tiny undies for H&M. Cut to Mr. Posh Spice sitting alone in a luxury box… because no one could handle his sexiness.
The Seinfeld Reunion
Jerry and George met up for coffee at Tom’s, only to banter about an upcoming Super Bowl party one of them wasn’t invited to. Newman was there, and thanks to makeup and lighting, nothing really seemed to have changed. But we can’t help feel this elaborate ad for Seinfeld’s web series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee was a little underwhelming.
Bruno Mars Meets the Red Hot Chili PeppersThe haters were out, ready to pounce on anything Bruno did that was less than Beyoncé-levels of perfection. Despite the pressure, he rose to the occasion and managed to make the last-minute addition of four dudes who used to rock out with their cocks out appear relatively seamless.
Budweiser’s commercial about a puppy’s undeniable love for a Clydesdale was a much needed dose of an adorable during the game’s snoozeworthy second half. If Peyton Manning wasn’t going to lead a last-minute comeback, at least we had some animal friends to squeal over. Plus, the ad featured You Oughta Know alum Passenger’s breakthrough hit, “Let Her Go,” so we can’t help feeling proud.
Sad Eli ManningThe Giants quarterback may have two Super Bowl rings of his own, but that doesn’t mean he enjoyed watching older brother Peyton struggle on the field. If you can’t do it for us, No. 18, at least do it for that cute little guy up in the booth. Look how sad he is!
James Franco & Rob Riggle Pimp For Ford
The two actors appeared in two different ads for Ford Fusion, spouting identical dialogue and getting dangerously close to a live tiger. It doesn’t make sense, but we don’t think anything Franco does is supposed to?
JCPenny’s (Drunk) Tweets
Who kkmew theis was ghiong tob e a baweball ghamle. #lowsscorinh 5_0
— JCPenney (@jcpenney) February 2, 2014
Toughdown Seadawks!! Is sSeattle going toa runaway wit h this???
— JCPenney (@jcpenney) February 3, 2014
Branded tweeting is usually a gamble, unless your company’s name is Arby’s. Last night, JCPenny caught the eye of Twitter users with its near-incoherent jumble of words resembling something close to game-time commentary. Turns out it was a stealth mitten promotion, because nothing in this world is pure or joyful.
— JCPenney (@jcpenney) February 3, 2014
Pam Oliver’s Hair
Who Let Pam Oliver back on TV without fixing her hair
— Kyle Edwards (@KyleEdwards) February 3, 2014
Pam Oliver’s hair stay looking like fried seaweed
— ♚ February 17th ♒️ (@Le_Captain_) February 3, 2014
So Pam Oliver is worth 4 million dollars but her hair is worth a can of Sour Cream and Cheddar Pringles? Nah cuh.
— Jonathan Rogers (@SKEJayRogers) February 3, 2014
The longtime FOX Sports correspondent didn’t need a Richard Sherman interview to make her an integral part of the 2014 Super Bowl. Oliver’s hair elicited a number of Twitter reactions throughout the night, with reactions spanning from comedic to cruel. Can she live, America?
Shia LaBeouf is out (according to him, he’s not even famous anymore), Megan Fox is gone, but Michael Bay remains. Mark Wahlberg stars in this summer’s Transformers: Age of Extinction, whose trailer debuted during last night’s game. Check out an early look above and let the countdown to June 27 begin.
[Photo Credit: Getty Images]