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Throwing Rolling Stones list of the 100 greatest guitarists into the midst of Story of the Year is a little like tossing a grenade into a fireworks factory. And thats before they learn Jack White clocks in at No. 17. That thing is a
Wheres Chet Atkins? wonders the guitarist Phil Sneed in his quiet Midwestern drawl, becoming progressively more concerned as he realizes country's greatest picker hasnt made the cut. I dont see Billy Corgan on there anywhere, either, notes spike-haired guitarist Ryan Phillips of another absentee. That guy is a genius and hes not on there. Thats stupid. Hes the first guitar player to ever jump, I think, says Dan Marsala, pointing at a certain beaky member of the Who. Pete Townshend, the singer finally decides. Or whatever his name is. Bassist Adam Russell - disciple in the church of Pantera and Metallica - doesnt even give the list a second look. Kirk Hammetts at 11. Diamond Durrell should be on there, he sniffs. But hes not. Having just hit New York after a punishing van-ride from Cleveland, the St. Louis metal outfit spends an alleged no-work day doing interviews. This basically amounts to a riot of non-stop wisecracks, burping, and tearing into each other with loving insults. Their penchant for hilarity might surprise anyone whos heard their debut Page Avenue and cathartic single Until the Day I Die. After a spell as pop-punkers Big Blue Monkey, Story of the Year decided they were better at combining emos confessional drama with punishing, blistering rock. And the Hero Will Drown, Avenues opening salvo of screaming and stop/start dynamics, could destroy a lesser band. But Story take their moment and run with it. A string section tenderizes Sidewalks, In the Shadows is all glammed up '80s style, and Marsalas committed vocals illustrate that beneath the yuks are five passionate souls. Music might tear them apart, as well. The Warped Tour vets take sides against Phils love of Swedish metal, although theyre all down with the comedy screaming of Skid Row and Andrew WK. And theyre not rock stars enough yet to forget the days they looked after deaf children and delivered pizzas. Story of the Year shared their tale of shin splints, Def Leppard moments, and the fun of having four gay husbands. VH1: What album defines heavy for you? Adam Russell: You might call me a dork, but Panteras Far Beyond Driven is the best and heaviest record ever written. The production and the songs and everything, it kicks ass. I love it. Josh Wills: [to Russell] They dont like you. Dan Marsala: [to Russell] Phil can kick your ass. Phil Anselmo, Im talking about. Not Phil Sneed. VH1: What record could possibly be heavier than Pantera? JW: Well, Im sure nothing could be that much heavier, except maybe Anal C*nt or something. Ryan Phillips: I like Deftones Around the Fur. Phil Sneed: I like Soilwork, the Swedish metal band. Theyre incredible. They have like Dream Theatres class and writing style and abilities with Swedish metal overtones. Theyve tried everything in the realm of metal. Panteras great, but they just cant touch those Swedish metal boys! VH1: Is European metal better than the domestic stuff? AR: No. PS: Yes! AR: No! PS: YES! Its market-driven in the States. Out there, they can play their instruments better than anyone on the planet, and they just decide to make it heavy. AR: Dude, theres like at least one dude who works at every Guitar Center in the country that can play his instrument better than anybody else. Doesnt make him cool. PS: Dude, if you want to fight about it, there are some Swedish metal bands that can play anything better than any studio musician! Theres a band from Sweden called In Flames thats unbelievable! DM: You should ask us a different question, because we can argue about this all day. We can argue about anything. AR: Dude, Phil Anselmo wails, though. VH1: What about Metallica? AR: Theyre my favorite band of all time. I wear a Metallica shirt every night in bed. Thats my stage gear. Everyone says they sold out when they cut their hair but [irritated] & coool! JW: He defends them like hes in the band! AR: Theyre awesome. I grew up on what my parents listened to, so I didnt pick up on Metallica until the black album. But I love everything theyve ever written. Even the new stuff, although I think I would have done things different if I were in the band. Ive watched the A Year & a Half in the Life of Metallica video more times than I can possibly count, and I've bought every one of their records two or three times. To succeed in the way that they have is just unheard of. Theyre awesome. VH1: When people call Story of the Year a metal band, do you agree? DM: Definitely not. But we try to be metal sometimes. AR: If you ask a band what genre they fall into, and they can tell you right off the top of their head, they are probably not very good or very original. RP: If they like the music, it doesnt matter if they think were rock or rap or country or polka. We just say ROCK! VH1: What is it about St. Louis that makes you make the music that you do? Why arent you down with Nelly? PS: Nellys awesome. DM: We dont know Nelly. It would be good if we did. AR: I used to work in Subway with his half-brother whos currently in jail. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. DM: Most of our songs are about St. Louis or our friends. We wrote most of them while living in Orange County for about a year, and theyre influenced by being away from home. Thats why our album is called Page Avenue. Its a street in St. Louis that everybody lives nearby. Thats where we ate and skateboarded and everything. Its the 'hood. VH1: What other day jobs were you doing besides working at Subway? RP: We all delivered pizza for Papa John's! PS: Except for me. I was a school bus driver. I had behavioral disorder problem kids for my first drive. They were awesome kids, but they were really loud. I was the coolest bus driver ever. When they would yell at me, I would yell at them, so it was the loudest bus you could imagine. We had a lot of fun. And then my next route was deaf kids - and they were the quietest! But the coolest kids ever. AR: Where did you get quiet deaf kids from? For a high school service project, I worked at the Central Institute for the Deaf, and those were like the loudest kids Ive ever seen in my life. Deaf gym class! [Shakes head.] I loved those kids, though. VH1: Whats the biggest lie that you ever told to get people to come to your shows? RP: I used to make flyers that said there would be naked chicks there. We used to say we were playing with bands like Eve 6. AR: We definitely put Metallica on one flyer. VH1: What happened when Metallica didnt appear? RP: Like two dudes with black hair showed up and got pissed. Everyone kinda knew we were joking. But we were serious about it. We were hoping they would show up. VH1: Whats with the Def Leppard moment in the middle of In the Shadows? RP: The "whoa-ohs"? They're awesome! AR: Dude, all I know is the best song ever written is Youth Gone Wild by Skid Row. DM: They had that same breakdown, I can tell you that. RP: Thats how we got it, I think & AR: With that kind of thing in mind, you cant help but put an awesome part like that in, yknow? JW: We should have had one of those in every song, but I dont know if we could have pulled it off. DM: We tried to get Sebastian Bach to do it but he was busy on Broadway or something. VH1: How do full-tilt rockers like yourselves decide you need strings on a song like Sidewalks? AR: If Metallica can have an entire record with full string arrangements, theres no reason why we cant. PS: I wrote the riff to Sidewalks a while back and kept trying to use it. People [in my old band] kept telling me it was silly and too pretty. But I loved the song, so I brought it to these dudes, and we worked it all out. I really pictured strings taking it to a different level. DM: It was so awesome. We walked in the room and there was like six people sitting around with all these different violins and cellos and all these instruments. Theyre so much better musicians than well ever be. They just look at the music and play the whole thing on the first try! Its crazy! VH1: Who rocked the hardest on the Warped Tour this year? RP: Andrew WK is the ultimate! No one on earth will ever have a better show than him ever. DM: We did a radio interview, and he was in there with us - remember? Boy, was he crazy. RP: This isnt a very cool story, but I took a dump next to him. I had never talked to him before, and I was waiting on line to take a dump, and I could see underneath that this guy was wearing high-top Nikes and some Adidas sweatpants. I was like, dude, who could that be? Andrew WK comes out and hes like [roars incomprehensible gibberish]. I didnt know what he said. But he was pretty cool. VH1: Did you have your own night on Warped when you looked at each other and went, whoa, were killing it. RP: Dude, we killed it every day. For like a week and a half the air [conditioning] in our bus broke and we didnt have any electricity. It rained a lot and we were dirty all the time. So when you finally get to go on stage, we were so pissed off and on edge that we rocked even harder. AR: I played half the tour with a big boot on, because I tore some ligaments in my ankle. I felt like an idiot. VH1: Is playing a set of full-tilt rock a draining experience? RP: Yes. I get shin splints really bad. PS: Hes a pansy. RP: I am a pansy. I get shin splints really bad. I tape my shins up with duct-tape. And we always get hurt. I got 25 stitches in my shin from like hitting the barricade with my shin and Dan broke his skull. Every tour we go on, theres somebody who goes to the hospital. If not us, one of our techs. Adam hit our tech Allen in the face with his bass once! VH1: When youre on those long tour bus rides, how are you keeping yourselves amused? AR: Ive got a Powerbook, and if you highlight any sentence, you can select this thing that will make it talk. So we spend hours typing sentences about Dans unit and his girlfriends box. Thats how we amuse ourselves. Lately, at least. RP: Last night Adam went to the bathroom at a gas station, and I told the clerk that he was shooting heroin in the bathroom, and he called the police. [Laughs.] AR: Meanwhile, Im wiping Ryans urine from off the seat, the handle, the walls ... I had to drop a deuce. PS: [Irritated.] Where are we going with this? VH1: Youre spending a lot of time together in the van. Tell me about each others bad habits. Let it out. AR: Our tour manager has man t*ts. He was sleeping on me last night and put his arm around me. RP: And he snores like this. RRROOOWAAARRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! Josh and I masturbate almost every day. We have a collection of magazines. AR: Were all pretty much at each others throats at all times. Until we get in our separate hotel rooms. VH1: So what keeps the five of you united? RP: Im really gonna give it to you straight. When youre in a band, its like youre married to five dudes. All: Four! Four dudes! RP: We are five, though. I have four gay husbands, right? And if everyones not 100 percent, it wont work. So we basically got rid of the people who didnt have 100 percent of their heart into it and got people who did. We found the right people that cared about it as much as we did. And here we are!
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