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Selected Mikki Halpin Archive:
1. One Party, 1000 Stevies
2. I'm Thirsty for Britney
3. Musical Fortune-Telling
4. Leave Eminem Alone
5. The XFL: Extreme Exploitation!
6. Did Madonnna Cost Gore the Election?


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  Mikki Halpin
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  Bob Lefsetz
  Jim Macnie
  Steffie Nelson
  Kevin Whitehead






Distraughtexboyfriend.com
by Mikki Halpin


There comes a time in every relationship when one of the two parties calls for an end. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes the other party a while to realize what's going on. Even worse, sometimes the message machine tapes are made public.

January 15, 2001

Yo, J. Lo! That rhymes! Use it on your next track. I'll produce, of course. My trial starts soon. I miss you. Call me, Puffy.

January 26, 2001
Caught you on E! today at your premiere. It all makes sense now. The Wedding Planner, Guess you've been so busy dreaming of our eventual nuptials, you haven't had time for me. Heard you loud and clear, and I can't wait, either. Let's go pick out a ring soon. The sky's the limit. Peace, baby. Puffy.

February 4, 2001
Haven't heard from you. You aren't still mad, are you? I sent five cases of cuticle cream to your trailer. Talk soon, Puffy.

February 8, 2001
Must have just missed you. I read in the paper you were "absolutely astonished" with the serenade from Luther Vandross. I'm so glad. Luther tells me your security is really rugged these days. What's up with that?

February 13, 2001
Saw the video for "Love Don't Cost a Thing." Guess that's why you haven't called. Sorry if I overreacted before. You know how I get. One thing - maybe in interviews you should make it more clear that you are playing a character in that video. Otherwise, a song about your rich playa boyfriend who treats you bad might give people the wrong idea! Just a thought, call me, Puff.

February 13, 2001
Honey, also, when you sing, "Give me all the things I want that money can't buy," what do you mean exactly? I can have it for you in hours.

February 14, 2001
Now that I know we're solid, I feel silly for ever doubting you. All those rumors that we're broken up are a brilliant move - they'll create sympathy with the jury. Too bad Shyne's girl isn't on top of this stuff like you are. Did the platinum card arrive? Talk soon, Me.

February 23, 2001
Hi, it's me. Too bad you couldn't make it to the Sean John show today. I think it was a big hit. Get this: PETA called me a murderer because of all the leather and fur in the collection. Cochran thought that was hysterical. I'll tell ya, man, that guy gives me perspective.

February 28, 2001
We keep missing each other! Left messages with your mom, your personal assistant, your backup cell, your home phone, your trailer phone, your car phone, the phone by the pool, your manager, and your agent. Also tried to two-way page you. No answer. Possibly I am not working the damn thing right. I will buy a new one. In the meantime, would love to hear from you. Out.

March 2, 2001
Baby. The trial is going pretty well. My mom is coming with me to court every day. She asks about you. What should I tell her? She's an old woman and loves you very much, just like I do.

March 10, 2001
I was just thinking, maybe the reason you haven't been returning my calls is because of that whole subpoena thing. Is that it? Chill, it's just something Cochran decided to float in the press. No pressure! P.S.: If you do testify, there's a Versace in it for you.

March 14, 2001
The case went to the jury today. I couldn't have made it this far without you. Despite our communication problems, I know we belong together. Peace and love, Puff.

March 16. 2001
Baby? I guess you heard the verdict. I'm a free man and I'm ALL YOURS once again! Let's put this mess behind us and make the scene. All fun, no guns. Promise. What time should I pick you up?

March 17, 2001
It's me again. Please call.

March 18, 2001
Jennifer, Puffy here. Call soon, OK?

March 19, 2001
Hon?

March 20, 2001
Drove by your house but I guess you weren't home. I have a new driver, by the way. He says he's a big fan of yours.

March 21, 2001
Jen?

March 26, 2001
Jen?

March 27, 2001
J. Lo?

March 28, 2001
J?

March 29, 2001
Hon, if I change my name, will you come back to me?

For information on Puffy's legal troubles, CLICK HERE.

       
 
 
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