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TV Eye: One Pundit's View of the Oscar Results by Bob Lefsetz 1. OPENING SEQUENCE God, this is the only time in creation I wish there was MORE corporate consolidation. Couldn't Viacom buy the Academy so they could hand over the opening of this show to the people at MTV?? There hasn't been ONE Oscar opening that even comes close to Pee-Wee Herman's opening of the MTV Video Music Awards. MTV knows the game, sees the landscape. You've got to start off with a bang, hook them. The 2001 intro was so lame, I thought it was a commercial. Even USC film students wouldn't lay something this bogus on the public. So, Sumner, Mel Karmazin... Can you make something happen here? I mean, if AOL TW gets there first, it'll be even WORSE! All blanded out/all middle American. With the "You've got mail!" dude hosting the show. 2. OPENING MONOLOGUE Unlike Billy Crystal, Steve Martin is a legitimate talent. Then again, maybe he's never recovered from his wife leaving him and Anne Heche dumping him and going to play with the other team. I mean, how else can you explain Sgt. Bilko? Steve-o and his comedy packed ARENAS a couple of decades back. You'd think he'd still know how to do it. But like Jerry Seinfeld on Letterman last week, he seemed RUSTY! At least Billy Crystal's jokes were funny! Maybe it's because Steve made the mistake of not getting Bruce (Vilanch, that is). As the credits raced by on screen it seemed like Steve had hired his own new team. With Rita Rudner playing a big part. Now, actually, I find Rita funny. But hers is a very quiet, mannered kind of comedy. Good for intimate rooms. Not for hundreds of millions of people. Steve's monologue wasn't big and broad. That's what's necessary at a show like this. Billy Crystal's comedy may be an imitation of borscht belt greats. He may make saccharine movies in search of a (running) audience. But he DOES know how to host. He's great at that one thing. And if the biggest failure as a host in recent memory was David Letterman, why did Steve go out of his way to crack jokes about the audience? Only good thing about this was Russell Crowe's deadpan response. Seemed like he was gonna brood for a minute more, tolerate one more lame joke, then run up on stage and HIT Steve. 3. BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS THANK GOD THAT KATE HUDSON DIDN'T WIN. For two reasons. Because everybody thought it was in the bag, and because she wasn't that good. She didn't even embody the characteristics of a '70s groupie. Then again, maybe I can blame that "everybody love me" mainstream workman-not-auteur, Cameron Crowe. Kate may be cute. But the first time I saw Marcia Gay Harden on screen, in Used People, I knew here was an ACTRESS! Someone who BECAME the role. Who radiated a presence. Who just wasn't play-acting in the den in her mother's clothes. It would be fun to be at a party with Kate. Fun to kiss her. But if I want to see someone act, it's no contest. I'd rather watch Marcia Gay Harden. It's kind of like love. You can have sex with the best-looking person on the planet. Marry them. Or you can have a relationship with someone who listens, who cares, who's three-dimensional, who you can RELATE to. Someone like Marcia Gay Harden. 4. BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR Benicio Del Toro. Hell, he's so good-looking and cool even I want to have sex with him. Sure, he was the favorite. But it was a great film. Anything that acknowledges that is fine in my book. 5. SHORT FILMS Live action. Animated. Documentary. GET THEM OFF THE BROADCAST! This is not Alanis Morissette, who strikes platinum on her first record (well, there were a couple before in Canada, but they were more like home movies) and deserves to be acknowledged. Too many times the winners are first-timers and nobody's seen the films. Fine back before television broadcasts, when there wasn't all the idiotic hoopla filling up the time. But as part of a worldwide broadcast, no way. They're just not deserving. Hell, it would be more deserving to have the TECHNICAL winners on the big broadcast. At least what they do affects us. 6. BEST SONG I'm starting to re-evaluate Randy Newman. I mean, is he really that good? I was a big fan way back when. But was I a victim of the hype? Was it all instigated by his best friend, Lenny Waronker? And after he couldn't make it in popular music, he went into the family business, film music. Don't true artists NEVER abandon their calling? Hey, his scores are OK. But he's constantly nominated for songs, and they SUCK! I mean, boy, can you believe how good Susanna Hoffs looked? But the song. It sucked. Sting. Utterly fascinating. How he transformed himself from the coolest anti-star into a mainstream icon. There IS a precedent for Sting's transformation - Bryan Adams. Bryan realized in 1990 that AOR was dead. Why not release a mainstream movie theme? When it was all said and done, Bryan had the biggest single ever and all his AOR compatriots were done. Sting put a finger to the wind and realized if you were over 40, you were f*cked. So he sold out. He took phone calls at radio stations. Worked for Compaq and Jaguar. Result? One of his worst solo records (albeit with a couple of good tunes) became a MONSTER! Still, working for the inheritors of Walt's empire? Great voice, but the song - thumbs down. Crouching Tiger song. Great movie, let's leave it at that. Bjork? What people don't realize is she's a legitimate artist. Not a hack. The oldsters at the party I was at were making fun. I wanted to stand up like the Nazi in The Producers and go wild. But God, you get older and protests seem worthless. Bob Dylan. The song's not as good as everybody says. This award was more for his body of work. But that's OK. Because he's the legend that most of the people onstage, musicians AND actors, are not. But the best part was his acknowledgement of Larry Jenkins. To thank Tommy Mottola and Donnie Ienner. That's kind of de rigueur. But to reach down into the company, to someone who actually did the work - wow! Most music business people are cogs in the wheel. Larry Jenkins got Bob that Grammy (and I didn't love THAT album, either). Best legitimate record publicity feat ever. And Bob hasn't forgotten him. Larry should feel like he made it. To the top. That what he did in life made a difference. Read our news story about Bob Dylan winning his Oscar. Read a feature about past winners of the Best Original Song Oscar. Are they truly memorable? |
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