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Bald and Complacent: Save Me by Bob Lefsetz In his new monologue, George Carlin does a bit about people who should be killed. One category of persons that fits the formula is balding white men who shave their heads. Like we're supposed to believe Billy Corgan just chose to shave off all his hair. Because he looks better this way. OF COURSE NOT! Billy, you were losing your hair and rather than confront this reality, that we all age, that our bodies change, that it's part of NATURE, you shave all of your locks off, trying to fake us out. Right. MEANWHILE, you've got a head so large, you look like an encephalitic baby. Shaving your head is a BLACK THING. Don't whites realize that when they imitate the blacks they get it ALL WRONG?! How in the hell can you have credibility when you can't even accept your own BODY?! I was a growing fan of Remy Zero until I watched the video for this song, "Save Me." The lead singer's got a bald head. Come on, dude. Now I know you're a poseur. You're going to have to work DOUBLY hard to convince me. Then there's that other option. Popularized by Mike Love of the Beach Boys. The hat COVERING the balding head. Now in light of the hole in the ozone, I heartily endorse wearing chapeaux when out in the glare of the sun ... but when you're inside, doff your hat! But of course you can't. Because then you'll be revealed to be BALD! HORRORS! People will RUN! It's like having AIDS! Or ANTHRAX! But this ridiculous game isn't played only by has-been SoCal hedonist Mike Love, but by one of the supposedly most credible musicians extant today. Dave Evans. Otherwise known as the Edge of U2. Now the Edge seems to have taken the loss of his hair very badly. For he went from a well-dressed Irish lad to Mr. Scruffy. So depressed about the absence of thatching atop his dome, he not only wears a knit cap at all times, but has stopped shaving and dresses in jeans and nondescript shirts. Come on, Edge. People are into you because of your PLAYING! They care not a whit what you look like. Evidence the music business is truly in trouble is the deification of U2. U2 were the best band of the '80s. And I'll say their 1991 opus Achtung Baby was my favorite of theirs EVER! It was everything you can ask for in rock and roll. An EXPERIMENT that WORKS! They didn't rest on their laurels. Rather they experimented with sounds. Came up with something that revealed itself over time. That unfolded. That you learned to love track by track. That you ultimately couldn't get enough of. And they followed up this record with a tour that has never been surpassed, either before or after. With the Trabants hanging from the ceiling. The TV sets. It worked both indoors and out. It was both mesmerizing and overwhelming. But they got caught up in it. Ah, let me give an example. I'm a pretty verbal guy. And a listener, too. A combination that isn't seen that often. Sometimes I go to a party, and everything just CLICKS! I tell a story effusively. And then draw out the listener. Winking and contorting my face in response. I'm a hero. I'm king. Everything works. But I'm savvy enough to know that was ONE NIGHT! The next party could be very different. If I used the exact same routine the next time I could FALL ON MY FACE! But like a bad dater, U2 didn't see that to repeat the formula was a recipe for DISASTER! Feeling that the tour sealed the deal. Ultimately got the band the most press. They focused on creating a bigger extravaganza. Shipping the album before it was done, in order to meet the deadline of the first tour dates. The record faltered, and then the production faltered. Both were ill-conceived and ultimately not properly rendered. And the difference between a hit isn't meters, not even centimeters, but MILLIMETERS! Pop would have been more successful not if it were more formulaic, less influenced by electronica, but if the SONGS were better. The tour would have been better if the production didn't DWARF the band, but rather COMPLEMENTED IT. Because of the short memories of today's pop prognosticators, the common wisdom was that U2 were done. Here today, gone tomorrow. One misstep and you're done. This was true of '90s one-hit wonders, but NOT of established bands. If you've got HISTORY, your fans will give you another CHANCE! And in this case, the fans were ready to give the band a BIG chance. |
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