Frank Zappa continued
(1) There is no conclusive scientific evidence to support the claim that exposure to any form of music will cause the listener to commit a crime or damn his soul to hell.
(2) Masturbation is not illegal. If it is not illegal to do it, why should it be illegal to sing about it?
(3) No medical evidence of hairy palms, warts, or blindness has been linked to masturbation or vaginal arousal, nor has it been proven that hearing references to either topic automatically turns the listener into a social liability.
(4) Enforcement of anti-masturbatory legislation could prove costly and time-consuming.
(5) There is not enough prison space to hold all the children who do it.
The PMRC’s proposal is most offensive in its “moral tone.” It seems to enforce a set of implied religious values on its victims. Iran has a religious government. Good for them. I like having the capitol of the United States in Washington, D.C., in spite of recent efforts to move it to Lynchburg, Va.
Fundamentalism is not a state religion. The PMRC’s request for labels regarding sexually explicit lyrics, violence, drugs, alcohol, and especially occult content reads like a catalog of phenomena abhorrent to practitioners of that faith. How a person worships is a private matter, and should not be inflicted upon or exploited by others. Understanding the fundamentalist leanings of this organization, I think it is fair to wonder if their rating system will eventually be extended to inform parents as to whether a musical group has homosexuals in it. Will the PMRC permit musical groups to exist, but only if gay members don’t sing, and are not depicted on the album cover?
The PMRC has demanded that record companies “re-evaluate” the contracts of those groups who do things on stage that they find offensive. I remind the PMRC that groups are comprised of individuals. If one guy wiggles too much, does the whole band get an “X”? If the group gets dropped from the label as a result of this ‘re-evaluation’ process, do the other guys in the group who weren’t wiggling get to sue the guy who wiggled because he ruined their careers? Do the founders of the tax-exempt organization with no members plan to indemnify record companies for any losses incurred from unfavorably decided breach of contract suits, or is there a PMRC secret agent in the Justice Department?
Should individual musicians be rated? If so, who is qualified to determine if the guitar player is an “X”, the vocalist is a “D/A” or the drummer is a “V”. If the bass player (or his Senator) belongs to a religious group that dances around with poisonous snakes, does he get an “O”? What if he has an earring in one ear, wears an Italian Horn around his neck, sings about his astrological sign, practices yoga, reads the Kabala, or owns a rosary? Will his “occult content” rating go into an old CoIntelPro computer, emerging later as a “fact,” to determine if he qualifies for a homeowner loan? Will they tell you this is necessary to protect the folks next door from the possibility of ‘devil-worship’ lyrics creeping through the wall?
Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are, in my opinion, more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality. Freedom of speech, freedom of religious thought, and the right to due process for composers, performers and retailers are imperiled if the PMRC and the major labels consummate this nasty bargain. Are we expected to give up Article One so the big guys can collect an extra dollar on every blank tape and 10 to 25% on tape recorders? What’s going on here? Do we get to vote on this tax? There’s an awful lot of smoke pouring out of the legislative machinery used by the PMRC to inflate this issue. Try not to inhale it. Those responsible for the vandalism should pay for the damage by voluntarily rating themselves. If they refuse, perhaps the voters could assist in awarding the Congressional “X”, the Congressional “D/A”, the Congressional “V”, and the Congressional “O”. Just like the ladies say: these ratings are necessary to protect our children. I hope it’s not too late to put them where they really belong.
Exchange from the original PMRC hearings:
Senator Exon: Mr. Zappa, let me say that I was surprised that Senator Gore knew and liked your music. I must confess that I have never heard any of your music, to my knowledge.
Frank Zappa: I would be more than happy to recite my lyrics to you.
Senator Exon: Can we forego that?
Senator Gore: You have probably never heard of the Mothers of Invention.
Senator Exon: I have heard of Glenn Miller and Mitch Miller. Did you ever perform with them?
Zappa: As a matter of fact, I took music lessons in grade school from Mitch Miller’s brother.
Senator Exon: That is the first sign of hope we have had in this hearing.
> Go to the Filthy Fifteen...
