• Season 4, Ep 8

Dr. Jenn Meets Jon Privately

Dr. Jenn pushes Jon to discuss the patterns in his relationships.

02/20/2014 ยท 2:51

>> HI.

>> [laughs]

COME ON IN.

UM, I THINK THAT ONE OF THE

THINGS THAT HAS BEEN MOST

INTERESTING TO ME IN OBSERVING

YOU AND LIZ IS THAT YOU CAME IN

HERE AND YOU TALKED A LOT ABOUT

HOW YOU WANT A CERTAIN KIND OF

RELATIONSHIP, AND I SEE HER

DOING A LOT OF THE THINGS YOU'VE

DESCRIBED THAT YOU DON'T WANT.

YOU KNOW, YOU HAD THIS MARRIAGE

THAT WAS A CERTAIN WAY--

>> AND YOU FEEL LIKE I'M FALLING

BACK INTO THE SAME PATTERN.

>> THAT'S MY CONCERN.

>> I DON'T THINK I AM.

>> BUT, YOU KNOW--

>> THERE'S A LOVE THERE BECAUSE

SHE'S--WHAT I'VE LEARNED ABOUT

LIZ IS SHE'S BLATANTLY HONEST.

SO WHEN SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME,

I BELIEVE IT.

>> BUT--AND I SEE THAT, AND I

THINK THAT THERE ARE CERTAIN

THINGS THAT SHE'S PROVIDING FOR

YOU THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE IN YOUR

MARRIAGE.

THAT FILLS SOMETHING IN YOU

THAT FEELS REALLY GOOD.

>> YEAH, SHE CARES--

>> AND I ALSO THINK THAT THERE'S

AN ATTRACTION THAT YOU HAVE WITH

HER THAT IS SO EXCITING FOR YOU,

AND THAT--YOU KNOW, YOU'VE

TALKED ABOUT BEING IN A SEXLESS

MARRIAGE FOR YEARS AND YEARS.

AND I THINK THAT FEELING

A SEXUAL CONNECTION WITH A WOMAN

WHO YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO HAS GOT

TO JUST, LIKE, BLOW YOUR MIND.

>> OH, YEAH.

I MEAN, DR. JENN, I'VE DATED

A LOT OF PEOPLE.

>> YEAH.

>> BUT, YOU KNOW, LIZ IS THE

ONLY PERSON I REALLY FEEL A

CONNECTION WITH IN ALL THE

REALM OF DATING PEOPLE.

PLUS, I HAVE EIGHT CHILDREN, YOU

KNOW, AND SHE'S REALLY GOOD WITH

MY KIDS.

>> BUT WHAT I WANT TO MAKE SURE

IS THAT THOSE THINGS THAT ARE

ENORMOUSLY EMOTIONALLY

SATISFYING TO YOU IN THE

RELATIONSHIP DON'T PREVENT YOU

FROM SEEING PATTERNS THAT YOU

MIGHT BE RECREATING.

>> RIGHT.

IT'S A FINE LINE, YOU KNOW.

LIKE--IS THAT A DEFENSE, HER

CALLING ME OUT?

IS SHE TRYING TO HELP ME AND

DOESN'T KNOW HOW?

BUT IT'S HURTING ME, AND I DON'T

KNOW HOW TO RESPOND.

>> IN THAT MOMENT, I DON'T THINK

THAT WHEN SHE'S JABBING AT YOU

LIKE THAT--AS MUCH AS SHE LOVES

YOU, I DON'T THINK SHE CARES

WHETHER SHE'S HURT YOU OR NOT.

IT'S, "AM I GONNA GET AWAY WITH

THIS?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT'S HE GONNA DO?"

>> MM-HMM.

>> THAT'S THE ENERGY ON IT.

>> RIGHT.

>> I THINK THAT WHEN SHE DOES

THAT, I THINK YOU NEED TO BE

A LOT--WITHOUT BEING RUDE,

WITHOUT BEING HARSH--

"HEY, IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE TO

TALK TO ME THAT WAY."

>> RIGHT.

>> "DO NOT DO THAT."

I THINK THAT SHE NEEDS YOU TO

COME FROM A PLACE OF STRENGTH,

NOT A PLACE OF WOUNDEDNESS.

IT'LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT

IT FEELS LIKE FOR YOU TO TAKE

BACK YOUR POWER THAT WAY.

>> YEAH, HOLD MY GROUND.

I'LL TRY THAT.

>> YEAH.

>> WOW, THANK YOU.

>> I KNOW IT WON'T HAPPEN

OVERNIGHT, BUT JON REALLY NEEDS

TO WORK ON BEING ASSERTIVE WITH

LIZ IF HE WANTS TO HAVE A LONG

AND SUCCESSFUL FUTURE WITH HER.