It’s time for the showdown between Karen, Ramona, and “Becky Butana.” But as Ramona points out, the new woman in Dave’s life is pretty hard herself. So what’s her deal? Find out in our top Mob Wives moments of the week.
Forgive Your F—ing Self And Move On
Still in Arizona, Karen has two goals while she’s out there. To resolve things with Dave and his girlfriend Rebecca, and to start working with her brother to get her father out of prison. In order to do that though, she needs to go into storage, listen to hours and hours of tapes and recorded conversations, and find some way to prove that her dad’s plea deal was for fifteen years, not twenty, as the government claims. It’s complicated and time consuming, and Karen starts to crack under the pressure, especially since she feels responsible for her dad’s sentence, since he’s basically doing the time so she won’t have to. Ramona’s still in Arizona too, and she can read Karen’s frustration and guilt over the entire situation.
Lest you forget, these two are the queens of tough love with one another, so Ramona yells at Karen “Your father forgave you, your family forgave you! F—ing forgive yourself, b—h! MOVE ON!!”
Renee has learned something in the past few days. That would be that buying and owning a guard dog is hella expensive. Somewhere in the “I could buy a serious Tiffany ring with that money” range. So instead of getting a pooch, she decides that self-defense classes are another good place to start, and she drags Drita to Krav Maga. While Drita’s thrilled to learn some new fight moves, Renee apologizes every time she’s asked to throw a punch. “No sorries!” her instructor tells her. “Knee him in the cup!”
She gets the hang of it and starts to really enjoy it. “I actually had fun in this class,” she says. “I learned how to put someone to sleep without an Ambien, a Lunesta, a Xanax, or a Nyquil. Be careful!”
Time To Lay Down The LawSo, okay, Karen is still a work in progress when it comes to forgiving herself and dealing with her father’s situation, but at least she can make some progress by meeting Dave and his girlfriend Rebecca to make sure they’re all cool. The problem is Rebecca. Girlfriend is cold as a block of ice and just as unresponsive.
“Hello! Rebecca! Knock knock knock, is anyone there??” Karen asks. Eventually Rebecca shows signs of a pulse and starts to engage, and Karen thinks hey, “Could be much worse.” So as a sign of peace she invites the pair to her house for a get together. When the party rolls around, Karen’s Arizona friends all show up, and Dave and Rebecca make an appearance as well. “All I’m thinking is ’PLEASE, Ramona, behave yourself,” Karen says.
“My first impression of Rebecca is ’constipation,'” Ramona says. Ramona starts to interrogate Dave about his love life and the fact that he plans to buy a new house with Rebecca, and she finds out that Dave’s been secretly hoping to get back with Karen. “He’s in love with you,” Ramona reports back to Karen. “She’s just a consolation prize,” she says referring to Rebecca.
Then Ramona has a one on one with Rebecca and just ever-so-gently warns her that she may not know who she’s dealing with. Luckily, Rebecca does. After Ramona tells her that it’s been disconcerting to learn that she’s been getting close to Karina, taking her to the doctor, and forming a relationship Karen never even knew about, Rebecca actually agrees and points out that she’s caught in the middle, it’s Dave that’s the one keeping all of this from Karen. “I’m really happy that Rebecca has somewhat of a brain,” Ramona says after they talk. Still, “we will be keeping a very close eye on her,” Ramona says.
38J and 34G
Love and Ang are out lingerie shopping, and for those who ever wondered, Big Ang’s boobs are a ripe 38J. Yes. J. And Love proudly owns her Gs, because G is for gangster, of course. “’Cause you gotta be a gangsta if you’re rocking some t—s like that,” she explains. Love’s preparing for her ex, Fate, to come back to town, so she needs some new underpinnings and it’s quite the spectacle to see her try them on with Ang, for obvious reasons.
While they’re out and about, Love mentions that she keeps hearing that Carla is talking trash about her, but Ang has no clue where that’s coming from. Love maintains though that there’s gossip spreading about her all over Staten Island. “I don’t know what the f— she’s talking about. The island is only thirteen miles long and I didn’t hear s—,” Ang says, defending her friend. Love doesn’t buy it though and plans to nip the situation in the bud.
Love finally meets with her ex, Fate, for some steak and no oysters (because the last thing these two need is aphrodisiacs — they’re quite compatible in the chemistry department already, she explains. There’s a hole in a hotel room in Vegas that proves it).
This man makes Love emotional for many reasons. They haven’t seen each other in years, first of all, and second, he is the only man she would consider “the one who got away.” She misses him desperately. “Fate needs some Love,” she tells him. And really, with names like that, these two need to be together.
Worse and Worse
Love has never even met Carla, but she already doesn’t like her because she believes Carla’s been trash talking her. Ang and Drita are sick of it because they’re the only friends Carla has left on the show, but they’re loyal and really can’t stand how much Love dwells on this hearsay. So when they get together, they agree that Love has it out for Carla and the situation is getting worse. Drita knows Love can literally tear Carla apart, but she’s worried that this means Carla won’t be prepared for it. “How do you not tell your friend, ’Oh, by the way, this girl? She wants to f—ing crack your head open?'” Next week, Carla’s gonna learn.