If you were wondering what the very intense reality of hiding a child’s father from her for 20-plus years (and lying about it) can look like, search no further than Hit The Floor. Episode Three saw the once great and powerful bond between Sloane and Ahsha crumble to pieces so small, no ice cream night on the couch can put them back together. At least not yet.
But Ahsha is bruised, not broken, and getting herself back on the Devil Girl squad is the first step towards moving on with her new life. Hear the empowering notes of a Beyoncé song whenever Little A walks into a room, Jelena? Because you should. For #setscoop and an abundance of other hashtags having to do with Kyle’s abridged lesson in American history, read on for what creator James LaRosa is serving up in his weekly take on the latest episode…
(WARNING: Spoilers! As always, if you haven’t watched this week’s episode yet, sort your s–t out and COME BACK TO ME, BABY.)
Sooo Ahsha moved out. This after melting down, confronting Sloane about lying to her, sobbing in the Devils Arena parking lot during the opening game she was SUPPOSED to make her big Devil Girl debut at, AND barely keeping her spot on the team by revealing to Olivia that Pete is her father. If Jelena was looking for results off that bomb drop last week, she got’em. #kaboom #eatit #haveanicelife
Where does that leave Ahsha? Besides homeless? Sloane was her rock. And her rock lied to her. Like, capital Lied. When Ahsha laid into her, Sloane pleaded with her that “It’s not that simple.” That, I can assure you HTF-ers, is NOT a lie. Stay tuned.
Where was Jelena the whole time Ahsha was imploding? Having a dancegasm (#dancegasm!) on the floor. How ecstatic did she look? AND HOW HOT WAS THAT DANCE? The Devil Girls killed “Ball.” Flips, drops, pretty sure I saw the upside down Exorcist crab walk (DVR it and press pause, I ain’t makin’ that ish up.). I bet T.I. needed to get hosed down after seeing that one. (DON’T LIE T.I. CUZ WE’LL KNOW.)
Someone that for sure needs to be hosed down is Derek Roman. Hot tubs, red heads and naked cigar smoking (another thing that sounds filthier than I intended that I’m refusing to delete it). No one who’s that big a mess isn’t hiding some big pain. Keep an eye on that guy…
Speaking of keeping an eye on, Olivia needs to keep an eye on her man! Newly retired Devil Chase Vincent looked like Magic Johnson, all smiles and applause. Cut to him telling team owner Oscar that M.I.A. Mia reached out to his wife. SHADY SHADY. Chase already tracked the phone number to an address. One Oscar seems awfully interested in. Incidentally, a huge welcome to the Hit The Floor cast to Mr. Rick Fox, who knows a thing or two about basketball. I’d say bow down but the man is a hundred feet tall, you’re bowing down to him already.
Olivia has secrets of her own. One of which was in that plain wooden box in her cabinet. An old photo of her and Sloane. The way she drowned in it… Can you say haunted? You probably can. Unless you have a weird mouth disease.
You know who else can’t say it? PAVLE. Kyle met the $30 million dollar man who plays for Boston who can only say “basketball.” English is super hard, y’all. But Kyle still managed to communicate with his black card. And she managed to have the runner up quote of the week, which she said to a pedicurist working on them (on Pavle’s dime, natch): “You’re gonna have to use a metal file on him, I think he grew up in the woods.” But he had a good time and you KNOW he’ll call her next time he’s in town. After he ditches that ridiculous basketball necklace he was wearing. That thing seriously weighed fifty pounds. #setscoop
While Kyle was making nice with Pavle, Derek was ready to throw down over a busted TV and Jelena and Terrence were throwing down on each other (WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?) in celebration of their big days. Meanwhile Ahsha was up all night reeling. She always wondered who her dad could be. Did they share the same interests? Did she ever pass him on the street? Soon enough, she passed him in the hallway at the arena. AWKWARD. Then he really threw her for a loop when he casually mentioned he and Sloane loved each other. If you look closely, you can see the precise moment Ahsha’s brain locked. “How could you go from loving each other… to this?”
Judging from Pete and Sloane’s clash in the Playground, there’s major unfinished business between them. When Pete told Sloane she could’ve told him he had a daughter back in the day, she blew up: “And then what? Chased you around from city to city, bed to bed, trying to make you be a father?” Not sure when this father/mother/daughter Sears portrait is gonna be taken, but I want a 5’7” and four wallets!
In addition to stirring the pot with Sloane, Pete maaaay have chemistry with someone else. At the Playground, he saw Raquel again. He fought for her unsuccessfully at tryouts, recognizing someone else who was struggling to keep their head above water just like him. Hearing Raquel was still doggie paddling through the tsunami that is Jesse Reade made him throw her a lifeline: the number for his wife’s divorce attorney. By the end, she went from calling him Coach Davenport to Pete. #mmhm #whyamihashtaggingeverything
LINE OF THE WEEK: “I thought you’d be happy.” – Jelena Howard
Why would this innocuous line be my fave? Because, if you recall, Olivia says this to Jelena in the first episode after defying her to let Ahsha on the team. A ludicrous statement Olivia made to her that’s really just another way of saying F.U. So after the dance, after Jelena blows Ahsha out of the water and subsequently spits these five familiar words back at Olivia, we know what Jelena’s really saying. Or just I do because I pay way too much attention to stuff like this.
Sloane and Pete have no idea who told Ahsha the truth, but it took Olivia all of a hot minute to figure out it was Jelena. She warned her captain to stay in her lane or “it won’t be good.” OLIVIA THREAT! I love those. Jelena didn’t seem to appreciate it though, and we know she doesn’t take kindly to that sort of thing. Who do you think is going to haul off and slap the other across the face first?
“Just got caught up with the second episode of Hit The Floor now comes the third which gets hotter and hotter don’t u agree James??” —@TreyCNixon
“When will the next casting be for @HitTheFloor I GOT what it takes to be on season 2 in Jesus name @JamesLaRosa #NoDisappointments” —@ScorpioDoItBest
When I hear about a season 2, you’ll hear me shouting it form the top of Devils Arena. In the meantime, I’m going to tell you a secret fantasy of mine that I’m hoping you and everyone else out there reading will help make come true.
I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to see you guys busting Devil Girls choreography. Maybe it’s a routine, maybe it’s a few moves from one, maybe it’s you wilding out to one of our songs (“Run The World,” “Criminal Intent,” “Ball”) to some basic Devil Girls hairography. I don’t care what kind of a dancer you are, how old you are, what shape you’re in, what gender you are-–I just want to see you be a Devil Girl.
You know who else wants to see? THE ENTIRE CAST. Send me your links and I’ll post them here and make sure the whole gang sees. Feel free to snatch a weave track or tell another dancer in the routine who her daddy is at the end for funsies.
I’m not kidding.
Okay you have your assignment. Questions about it, about the show, about life, hit me up on Twitter at @JamesLaRosa or our Hit The Floor FB page.
Thanks for reading, watching and twerking!
Till next time HTF-ers.
Ooooh, P.S. Next week, two words: POOL. DANCE.
Tune in to an all-new episode of Hit The Floor on Monday, June 17 at 9/8 C.
[Photo Credit: James LaRosa]