Hit The Floor Episode Seven: Too Close For Comfort

Oh we certainly saw this brewing, Hit The Floor. From Derek’s intimate advice about doing what you love, to his very philanthropic display of admiration for Ahsha at the Devils charity bash, there’s been an underlying tension around the “friendship” these so-called coworkers have all season long. But I can’t necessarily say I expected German to act on his frustration in such an aggressive way. Don’t those fancy, well-tailored suits limit your arm movement?!

Finally, Ahsha’s puppy dog of a boyfriend made it clear to just about everyone in plain sight that he’s had enough of this Devils charade. Derek wants his girl–we know it and she knows it–and he doesn’t have a college degree just so he can ignore all the obvious signs of their mutual flirtation, while continuing to walk around with a “Kick Me” sign on his back. Derek’s comments about Ahsha being a “dream girl” are flattering but border on disrespectful, given their suggestive nature and the media’s likely decision to spin them into front page news. But, so far no one has acted on said attraction (if you forget the elevator kiss), and Ahsha is looking to move into an even bigger place with her boo, so they can plan a life together… or she can curl up in her own space and text Derek words of encouragement. Love triangles have and will continue to exist so long as we humans get a look a something bright and shiny. There’s no denying that Ahsha is a catch, but so is German! This time, it’s the former who needs to reevaluate her priorities and act accordingly.

As for another pseudo-couple who has no problem throwing caution to the wind, Pete and Sloane are enjoying being able to reminisce about all the things they used to like (and clearly still do) about each other. Now that the baby drama is somewhat behind them, they can put their wants and needs first and worry about whether or not they’ll “make it” long-term later on–at least after a quickie in the middle of the afternoon. Sloane’s been harboring Pete-related anger for years, and now that she’s reunited with her darling daughter, she deserves to have some fun. But will rolling around with Pete be a worry-free activity, or simply bring up past issues? Olivia seems to be fixated on righting pasts wrongs–though remains a bit confused on how “hooking up her boyfriend” falls under Things You Should Not Do To Your BFF, even 20 -some years later. You live, yes, but do you always learn? Kudos to Pete for spelling things out so clearly, and once again reminding us that there were both regrettable hairstyles and disastrous decisions during his day as a Devils player.

Before Derek was lifted out of his mansion-depression and ongoing party full of strangers (a la Jesse Pinkman), he was stewing over the possibility of his boy Terrence seeking alternative employment to help him better achieve his goal: a championship. The Devils might be able to get Russell Westbrook or Tony Parker in exchange (two real-life players who you’d be happy to have on your pick-up squad) but breaking up the power duo of Roman and Wall gives us flashbacks to the painful parking garage fallout between Stevie J and Benzino. Some dudes just belong together, but Terrence has made his desires known for some time and Derek’s unpredictable ways have “liability” written all over them. What’s that, Jelena? Oh, you didn’t know your man was attempting to finagle his way out of Los Angeles? At least you’ll have a table at the hottest restaurant in town to collect your tears. Was Ahsha’s decision to spill the truth about Jelena’s man in poor form, or a natural reaction after her relentless bullying? Is is possible that there’s a heart under Jelena’s harsh exterior and body-hugging ensembles? Is Terrence’s disappearance all a part of an elaborate ruse that can only lead to a juice bar named “My Favorite Devil”?

And then we have Kyle. With her openly sexual nature and quickness to remind colleagues that she’s a “stripper,” not an exotic dancer, learning the Southern belle has a sex tape (with Akon!) isn’t exactly surprising. We applaud her theatrics when trying to secure her spot on the Devil Girls–pearls always work when you want to be taken seriously–and can’t imagine a world where this spitfire wasn’t close by to spout hilarious one-liners and inappropriate assessments of the world around her. People make mistakes! And it seems like she’s made a lot of them.

But what did you think? Will Kyle’s BIG performance be the last straw? Does her check have anything to do with that “end game” she mentioned last week? Is Jesse capable of actually being a decent guy? Will Mia be closer to getting her uniform back if she goes through Raquel?

Catch new episodes of Hit The Floor all summer long on Mondays at 9/8 C. And to stay up on all things Devil World throughout the week, head to The Locker Room.

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