Did you enjoy Sloane and Pete getting that old thing back as much as we did? What about German finally stepping up to defend his relationship? Hit The Floor served up lots of loving and somewhat unexpected fighting this week, with a hot, hot, hot red carpet dance routine–and at least one mention of a sex tape–in between.
For more insight into the making of said home movie, as well as revealing truth bombs about German’s saliva, read on for your weekly commentary from HTF mastermind, James LaRosa.
TOTALLY READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED MONDAY’S EPISODE YET! NO SPOILERS AT ALLLLLLL. (You deserve what you have coming…)
German fans stand up!
This week we learned how far even the most loyal and supportive boyfriend can be pushed. First he had to watch Ahsha dance with Derek in front of God and creation. Then he had to swallow the fact that Ahsha missed their apartment hunting to check on an imploding D-Ro. But when a rejuvenated Derek taunted him during a red carpet interview, we learned German is nobody’s bitch.
We also learned German likes to fix his suit jacket after he coldcocks someone. Substance AND style!
Fun Fact: Jonathan McDaniel needed an actual drool cup when he got the script where German got to punch Derek. For some reason we got way more takes of that punch than we needed. Hmmm…
The episode started with a couple knock-outs. The first, Pete and Sloane NOOKIE. Like, all over the house nookie. And all kinds of nookie. And… I’m gonna stop talking about the nookie because I have a whole blog to get through.
The other knock-out, with less physical contact but no less bloody, was the Olivia/Jelena scene where they’re trying on dresses for the premiere. They weren’t throwing fists, they were throwing SHADE, and it was a beautiful thing. Line after line of passive aggressive bitchery.
Olivia: These days players have to do more than play basketball.
Jelena: Particularly when they don’t play anymore.
Jelena: Which (dress), I can’t decide. Mini or floor-length?
Olivia: When I think of you, I just think…less.
I eat this ish up. Anyone who’s seen two drag queens go at it knows exactly what I’m talking about. Reading is fundamental!
OHMYGOD PETE AND SLOANE’S NOOKIE!!
Sorry, I’m letting it go.
But since we’re talking about Sloane, how iiiinteresting that after sex with Pete, she’s suddenly looking at that old picture of her in her uniform with a new glint in her eye. She recognizes that girl. And digging through her old dance stuff? And taking her first class?? Pete taps into a part of Sloane that she buried a long time ago. Do you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing? #philosophicalquestion #ohmygodthenookie!
Shout out to Laura Wright, who played the dance instructor. I loved her as Cassie on Guiding Light (she’s on General Hospital now, and killing it) and I was stoked she’d come and play on Hit The Floor. And she’s such a cool chick. It’d be great to have her back.
Meanwhile, how awkward was that Pete/Raquel scene in the Playground? After they kissed last week and immediately regretted it. Pete thought he’d have to let Raquel down gently and she beat him to it. Go on! They’re great as friends, and Pete needs all the friends he can get. Raquel needs all the pepper spray she can get with Jesse back. He sent her flowers, which Raquel hoped she could bring to his funeral. Alas, no such luck. Just when she thought he was out of her hair, she may have another thing coming… (SPOILER SHE HAS ANOTHER THING COMING)
HOW AMAZING WAS KYLE THIS WEEK?
And how effing smart? What I love about Kyle is she’s got all the trappings of the dumb blonde but she’s on par with Jelena in the smarts department. She had her entire escape plan charted out before she even made that sex tape (though it truly would’ve been whack if Akon leaked it). She knew the bylaws, she had the three-person panel scheduled and she had more dirt on them than Smoking Gun. Someone tweeted she should be working for Olivia Pope on Scandal. That is the highest compliment. And her scene as Holly Hobbie? (If you don’t know who Holly Hobbie is, Google image it now dammit.) Katherine Bailess can do comedy and she can really cry! Add her splits and she’s officially a witch.
Fun fact: I directed the scene where Kyle sells her tape for 80G’s. The entire episode was directed fantastically by superstar Melanie Mayron, but when we had to film a few extra scenes I pitched in.
How about Pete/Olivia in the limo? He basically called her out as an opportunist. She spit some venom back at him and made total sense. Still, methinks she doth protest too much. Olivia knows how to get things done. Which you will witness the next couple of weeks…
This week also saw Jelena drop a huge bomb on Ahsha when—oh wait, OTHER WAY AROUND BITCH. Ahsha learned Terrence wants to be traded, something she thought Jelena knew. (Or did she, really? Was this an accident or do you think Ahsha maaaaaybe knew what she was doing?) Hey Jelena, how ya like the taste of dem apples? Clearly not at all as she proceeded to call Terrence and chew him the hell out, all while smiling for photographers. WERK. For such a seemingly stand-up guy, Terrence sure does keep a lot of secrets. Hmmm…
AND WHAT ABOUT THAT DANCE? Confession: I never watched Haley Reinhart’s season of American Idol so I didn’t know who she was. But when I heard this song I flipped. Add the B.o.B. rap and I had to have it for the Paramount dance. Our girls did such an amazing job fusing old Hollywood with some bumping and grinding. That’s a big reason why I love our choreographer Michael Rooney–-he respects the past enough to pay homage to it in a contemporary way. Dancing in gowns to B.o.B.?? GIVE IT TO ME.
And Mia! Lurking like a creepster. Stealing badges, rummaging through lockers. She is nothing if not determined. She got to all the girls except one, asking Raquel “Who’s Ahsha?” Uh-oh. BUT WHAT’S MIA’S STORY? AND WHAT’S ON THAT MICROPHONE? If you caught the teaser for next week, you see Sloane’s cornered her in the house. Sloane wants answers, and what Sloane wants, Sloane gets…
I’m telling you not to miss next week. Was I too subtle?
SLOANE AND PETE NOOKIE!
LINE OF THE WEEK: “Players can drunk drive through an orphanage and no one cares, but miss a game? That’s bad.” – Devil Girl Danielle, giving Ahsha some real talk. Sorry, just imagining someone drunk driving through an orphanage makes me chuckle.
QUESTIONS FROM YOUUUU!
“Why every Monday I get put in Twitter Jail all because of @JamesLaRosa show Hit The Floor lol?” —@HitTheFloorFans
ME TOO! The cast laughs at me because I’m the only jack-ass put in a time-out chair. I know how to make a shiv out of a Yardley’s English Lavender so I never stay in there too long. Incidentally this is the perfect place for me to say how mind-blowingly amazing it is to see so many fan pages on Twitter and Instagram. If someone could make a list for me I will give you all a shout-out in the next blog cuz I think you’re the bees knees.
“What is your favorite part about last night?” —@MEB725
Taylour teaching me how to do the B.o.B. part of the Paramount dance and me falling on my ass. Oh on the show? I’m always partial to ladywar so I’ve got to go with Olivia/Jelena. I also love Kyle’s crying jag, and trying to mimic her accent. “I didn’t know the camera was OWN MEH!”
“After the VERY HOT scenes is there a happy-end between Sloane & Pete now? Wish me this. Will I see another HOT SCENE next week?” —@RomanticManu
Sloane and Pete have twentysomething years of sexual tension to catch up on, there may be some continuation next week. As for a happy ending, you’re just going to have to watch…
“Why is Kyle paying so much money? What kind of trouble is she in?” —@G0RGE0USSDEEE
What kind of trouble ISN’T Kyle in? Truth is, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. But it is wiiiiiild.
“Wait, what?!?! 3 episodes left? Who’s idea was that? #ImMad #NoFair #WhosInChargeHere #ImTellingMyMomma @kmullins910
Three episodes left FOR NOW. And they’re each and every one of them doozies. So don’t blink.
Got a question for me? Hit me up on Twitter at @JamesLaRosa.
NEXT WEEK: The fallout from The Punch, Jelena on the warpath (look out Terrence!), the Kyle mystery deepens and the Mia mystery blows UP.
Till next time HTF-ers!
Catch new episodes of Hit The Floor all summer long on Mondays at 9/8 C. And to stay up on all things Devil World, head to The Locker Room.
[Photo Credit: James LaRosa]